Dusty's Jokes

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly,

"I know what the bible means!"

His father smiled and replied,

"What do you mean, you 'know' what the bible means?"

The son replied,

"I do know!"

"Okay," said his father, "what does the bible mean?"

"That's easy, Daddy,"

the young boy replied excitedly,

"It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'"
 
A new teacher thought she would use what she learned in her psychology courses. She said to her class, "Everyone who thinks they are stupid, please stand up." After a few seconds, one boy stood. "Do you think you're stupid?" she asked. "No, ma'am, but I just didn't want you to have to stand there all by yourself .
 
After the dedication of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That pastor said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys
 
A little boy watched, fascinated, as his mother covered her face in cold cream. "Why do you do that?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful."

When she began to rub it off, the boy asked, "Why are you doing that? Did you give up?"
 
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service, "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."
 
A Sunday school teacher asked, Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
 
This one will cause you to say ...... Oh Noooo !!@!!!....... He he

After the church service a little boy
told the pastor, “When I grow up, I’m going to give you some
money.”“Well, thank
you,” the pastor replied, “but why?”“Because my daddy says you’re one
of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had
 
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny interrupted, "My mummy looked back once, while she was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
 
dusty said:
the sunday school teacher was describing how lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little johnny interrupted, "my mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
Click to expand...

haahaaaaahahaaa
 
An atheist is teaching a grade 1 class and there is a little girl who is telling her friends about the story of Jonah. The teacher turns to her and says. "Now how do you know that Jonah was able to survive in a whale for so long?" "I don't know. I guess when I get to heaven I'll have to ask him." "What if he's not in heaven?" "Then I guess you can ask him!!"
 
A woman went to the beach with her children. Her 4-yr-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore where a dead sea gull lay in the sand. "Mommy, what happened to him?" the little boy asked. "He died and went to heaven," she replied. The child thought for a moment and said, "And God... threw him back down?"
 
Six-year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
 
From A Church Bulletin:

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
 
was driving when I saw the flash of a traffic camera. I figured that my picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though I knew that I was not speeding.

Just to be sure, I went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now I began to think that this was quite funny, so I drove even slower as I passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed.

I tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while I rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, I got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

You know, you just can't fix stupid.


 
Dusty said:
An atheist is teaching a grade 1 class and there is a little girl who is telling her friends about the story of Jonah. The teacher turns to her and says. "Now how do you know that Jonah was able to survive in a whale for so long?" "I don't know. I guess when I get to heaven I'll have to ask him." "What if he's not in heaven?" "Then I guess you can ask him!!"
Click to expand...
Ouch... That's not very nice.
 
dusty said:
was driving when i saw the flash of a traffic camera. I figured that my picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though i knew that i was not speeding.

Just to be sure, i went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now i began to think that this was quite funny, so i drove even slower as i passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed.

I tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while i rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, i got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

you know, you just can't fix stupid.
Click to expand...


Rofl! :D
 
Dusty said:
An atheist is teaching a grade 1 class and there is a little girl who is telling her friends about the story of Jonah. The teacher turns to her and says. "Now how do you know that Jonah was able to survive in a whale for so long?" "I don't know. I guess when I get to heaven I'll have to ask him." "What if he's not in heaven?" "Then I guess you can ask him!!"
Click to expand...
lolool
 
Another Blond Joke

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.




In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home..'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.


The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.


After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.


She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.


I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.


Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word
'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big.


She'll read it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul.
 
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