I don't believe I can actually comprehend your lonelyness but I know Jesus does because he felt totally forsaken on the cross. You may feel alone but you are not. Just keep praying and reading the Word.
You are always in my prayers and I believe God is getting ready to do something great in your life my brother-
Father in Jesus Name I pray you touch Kent and heal his broken heart and His broken life-I pray you make your love real to him and I ask you to bring unexpected blessing into his life- in Jesus Name I pray thanking You that you have heard and will answer- amen
Christianity is not about belief, it's not about doctrine, it's not about understanding, it's not about anything eslse than that: John 10:27.
"My sheep hear my voice" (John 10:1-15)
I know you know WasLost that inside of you, within your innermost, dwells goodness, one such that you CANNOT ignore. This goodness is what has made you return to your shepherd in the first place, and it will again one day, if only you hear. I say this because you said you are leaving your faith, which faith was triggered by the recognition of God's righteousness by the very goodness that dwells within you. Your conscience is your beacon, and that beacon confirmed it to you. This is how you recognised the voice of our Shepherd.
Disregarding religion, and all that comes with it, all the writings in the world and all the words of others, you will never be able to ignore the beacon pointing to the light of the goodness you have inside. (I know, I've tried )
God is most patient, and knowing, and appreciative of your circumstances. He will not leave you, but will help you through it (wheither you thank Him for it or not), and He will feed your heart without you knowing it.
Sort your life out brother, put everything to rest, and recuperate from it, howeverlong it might take, life is tough, I know, I do, but if you do nothing about your faith during that time, at least, once in a while, when you remember it, give a little thank to God, even if a quick one, once in a while, for you know not if it is Him that helped. (Romans 1:21).
............and one day, you may hear His voice again :shepherd:
its the still small voice that you dont think you can hear, when you think your alone and the Lord is not near you, he is there so much, i dont know if you have seen that picture or not, but there are foot steps in the sand and theres only one set and when looking at them it gets you thinking hmmm im all by myself, but your not the Lord Jesus is carring you and this is why theres only one set of foot prints in the sand,
Jesus will never leave you nor will he for sake you for nothing can pluck you out of the fathers hands, and the sheep always knows his voice, the lies from the enamy may be there, but its a fight, put on the full armor of God and stand firm in his word, and know the truth,
I love you in Jesus name, and accept you in Jesus name, I know you can fight the good fight with the Lord on your side, you can have faith as big as a musterd seed, and tell that mountain to jump into the ocean and it will have to do this,
may the Lord fill you with his love and his joy that you need for today and always WasLost,