Hi there, CD27 here

New here...need serious prayer

Good day friends. My name is Eric Wright. I've been a Christian for about four years. I was in a pretty bad condition when i was saved, and my life before was going down a path i never want to go down again. I've learned alot in these four years, alot more than i'd say the majority of Christians learn. I joined the US NAVY and am currently in IT (Information Systems Technician) A-school (where i learn my job).

Before i left for basic training four months ago i knew and felt that my relationship with Christ was heading in the a very awesome direction. For the first time in my life i literally...literally...felt the holy spirit take me over. It didn't occur until some very specific things happened in my life (consequently directly out of II Chronicles 7:14) even though it didn't last long, oh i wanted it to last longer, i knew God was there as He always was.

There's always been one problem i've dealt with that i to this day cannot seem to get rid of. i know it's something that many, many, people deal with and with this society it's very difficult to deal with. As i said before, before i entered basic training for the navy i was very close to God and only could imagine myself growing closer. Now, four months later, and in fact not that far from the time i got there, i couldn't feel farther away. I have barely read my Bible at all, i haven't prayed but maybe twice the entire time, and the environment i live in constantly is absolutely horrible.

I've never been more disgusted with our society than now. I see constantly hypocrites claiming to be Christians yet committing acts that are obvious sins against God...yet they find absolutely no fault with it, neither agree nor listen to any of my own pleas. Even though i know of my relationship, i am not afraid to say: i am struggling very badly and am in need of great prayer. i don't need counseling, just prayer. I know exactly what i need to do, as i've been down this road SO many times in my new-born life.

i need to humble myself, i need to pray, i need to seek God's approval, and i need to surrender myself again to God. my salvation, as Jesus says in Matthew 10:38, depends on my surrender and my relationship with God depends on my obedience to Him as in II Chronicles 7:14.

I'm surrounded by CONSTANT cursing everywhere i go, by CONSTANT sexual conversations and lusts...this society is completely revert from God...it's a complete reverse of God's commandment and even dares to claim itself as part of God when it is clearly against God in every form and fashion. i can't stand it, i absolutely can't stand it. I don't get much sleep, i have to study very hard just to pass a test every week, i have to keep my room spotless and make sure all of my uniforms are on spot (no stains AT ALL, no wrinkles AT ALL, perfect military creases, and mirror-shined boots at all times) and to add to that, i have to worry about passing my PT (Personal Fitness) exams (which i'm not good at), and have to fit time in that for myself and God.

I get up every morning at 4 am and go to sleep at 10 pm (12 pm on weekends). I have no choice, i can't go to bed early because we have to muster (kind of like gather together and take role like in class) at those times and can't miss the muster or we're in deep trouble. So i HAVE to go to sleep no earlier than 10 or 12, and i HAVE to wake up no later than 4...that's 6-4 hours of sleep, and that's just if i go to sleep directly after the muster...many times i have to study, clean, or wash cloths...or even have watch.

I can't function without proper sleep, i just can't do it. I get so tired my eyes start crossing and if i don't get enough sleep i'll even pass out. i am just physically unable to survive off of that much sleep and this stress level. perfection is not achievable, and near perfection is nearly impossible. hence i turn to the only place i can...God.

I've turned away from him, i've lived according to my own rules, done my own thing, and attempted to live off of my own energy, it isn't going to work and i know it. please pray for me as i deal with my old problem: lust and hard core pornography. it's not something i'm proud of admitting, and as a matter a fact, this is the very first time i've even mentioned pornography as an issue even though it always was, but there is no point in hiding it any longer, i have done my deeds and have to stand up to them, good or bad.

getting rid of myself as Galatians 2:20-21 and Romans 6 details very clearly is difficult by itself, but doing it in the military is nearly impossible. I thought i'd have it easier...not so. The military is like a hub of sin, just a bunch of people with so many different beliefs and wants all bunched up together. In my A-School especially since the navy is downsizing, there's not much for a church. i need something more concrete, i'd like to have fellowship with a REAL Genuine Christian...just ONE! I've yet to find a single one (well, scratch that, i found one in boot camp, but only AFTER we left, so i'm no longer in contact with him) true Christian, someone who doesn't claim FAITH (total trust and surrender to God) falsely.

I need a real human contact, someone to talk to, hang out with, get away from this false reality people have set themselves up with, but it isn't looking likely. Please pray for me, please pray for my personal issues, please give me some materials that i can get off the net (i don't have money to buy books and stuff, sry) that may help me. thank you and God Bless.

In Him,

Eric Wright
 
Hi CD27,

Firstly, let me say thank you for the sacrifice you are making in defense of this nation. It seems to be not just a physical or emotional, but Spiritual. Even though it's been many years I do know the struggles of Basic Training and schooling in the military and how it does not give you a lot of time to open the Book and read God's Word, but I believe you know Him well enough to speak One on One anytime day or night. We all carry some knid of baggage, if we were perfect we wouldn't need Him. Sorry CD I got carried away. Keeping you in prayer my Brother.
Not quite certain what type of reading material you would like, but if you could be a little more specific I would be more than happy to post whatever you would like.
I will also pray for our Heavenly Father to bring a true Christian family member into your physical area. God Bless!
May God be your shield of protection. Amen!
 
You have my thoughts and my prayers and though you are not perfect, God smiles down upon you because you still desire and seek Him!.
The Holy Ghost is our comforter and our protector.
No matter what goes on around you, wear the Holy Ghost as a shield of protection around and within you.
Speak the name of Jesus as there is power in no other name.
Live your life as a Christian for an example to others.
Be proud to be of God and you will be the one who others may be looking to as a Christian friend~

Here is a site that may be helpful. Please look through it.
It was started by 2 young men who are very proud to stand up for God~

http://www.therebelution.com/

God Bless You!
 
CD thank you for you service- you are loved and appreciated here.
It is good to have you with us and I look forward to getting to know you- as far as problems everyone has them but the difference is you and I have the Living God working in our lives- many blessings- your brother Larry
 
thank you guys for your comments and help. i know everyone has baggage, i know this, my broken heart here comes from the fact that i know it and have failed to act on it. i would like, if you can find it, some material on surrender and brokenness, purity, etc. if you can find it i'd REALLY appreciate it.

I am working and will most definately be working in the future on a computer graphics program made specifically to re-edit movies (to take a two-dimensional image and convert it into a three-dimensional image based on movements of frames within a live action video). this is nearly impossible to do, but i know that if God wants me to do it He'll lead me the right direction. i KNOW God has great plans for me, and i've always known this, even since i was very small. at the age of six i had a prophetic dream and had a conversation with two angels and even witnessed them in battle with satan himself (what an awesome sight the creatures of God's majestic power!).

The angel told me who i was and what i was to do...however, along with mostly all of my memory before the age eleven, the actual words in the conversation are blank, lost completely...however i do know that there was a conversation. i've seen too many things in my own life, experienced hardships that many people would be unable to take, and in fact i myself would be unable to take if it were not for God being there taking care of me and shielding me from most of the pain. God's opened my mind to things that he's never shared with any other man on earth, things about the universe, things that blow my mind in the sense of science (there are many MANY times that i am completely disgusted by man's view of the world around him/her...it is utterly wrong).

I have been at the brink of dying, i should have died, falling 15 feet and hitting solid concrete and walking away without even a scratch. my experiences with the holy spirit in relation with problems with my grandfather and i, with when i prayed and asked for my father to return and take me out of an abusive situation and to have my mother find me after two years of separation from her and taking me away, after God revealing himself in me in ways that some could barely imagine, it's hard for me to sit here and acknowledge to myself...i'm STILL disobeying, STILL shoving it back in his face...even after all that he has shown me. i am special to him, i know this, i am in his hands, and he has shown me that he has HUGE plans for me, to prosper me, plans to do something radical in this world. I am a radical person, i think outside the box, i understand things that i'm "not supposed" to understand, i can answer questions that man isn't supposed to be able to answer, only God is supposed to answer it, but for some reason God gave me the answer. Whatever it is, God wants me all to himself and he has chosen me to do something great since before i was even born, he showed me in a dream, he has proven himself to me time and time again and has never failed me, he has answered all of my prayers, he has given me knowledge that i have asked for, he has opened my eyes to the world he created, he has shown me his son, and he still continues to lead me...but i am human enough, sinful rather, that i yet still defy him by my very actions.

it brings about a huge sense of brokenness to me to think on this, but i know this is what i require, brokenness, surrender, total surrender, and to allow God to do what it is he has planned for me in my life.

i will need your prayers in my life, as you have already given many for me. i don't know what it is that God has planned for me...for all i know i could be only a second stage man to something greater, or i could be the thing that God uses as his instrument to change this world, i don't know. i have always flung myself in opposition, always opposed that which i thought and knew by heart was wrong (always as in since i was saved and really knew life...literally, before i was saved, i had absolutely NO social life, no friends, and was a literal dead cell). i have opposed science and scientists who were dead wrong (and still are), i am radical, God has made me radical, different from the rest, for what reason, i do not know, for whom, i am unsure, for when, i can only wait, for him: i am positive.

i ask for your support, your prayers, and any help you may be able to offer me as a Christian community to help me set myself back on the path for surrender to Christ. my goal is Galatians 2:20-21...that's my goal, and i urge it on every one of you as well.

God Bless and In Him,

Eric Wright
 
Here are a couple links I picked out, if they do not offer what you are seeking please let me know and I will do a deeper search. We all have certain chains that bind us, but through the shed blood of the Purity of the Lamb we have been cleansed.
In the darkness of THIS world we are sometomes faced with the reality that Satan is playing an active role in trying to destroy what YHVH would prefer pure. The first link I am offering to check out is a site that has been devoted to my stepdaughter who is no longer with us, she was faced with many chains throughout her short life, but the love she had for Jesus could not be denied. If you are interested in just popping in for a second the link is HERE>>>>> www.breakingchains.net
Below are the two links that I searched out, please let me know if they help.

Galatians 2:20-21
20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 21 I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"[

http://www.adorationchurch.com/app/w_page.php?id=55&type=section

http://www.newmanmag.com/newmanreport/2006/12/secret-sin.html
 
CD27,

I'm glad you joined us. This forum has helped me regain my passion for Christ and my enthusiasm for praying and digging into the Scriptures. Fellowship is so important for healthy Christian living. Thanks be to God for a technology which enables someone isolated to fellowship with other Christians.
May God lift you up and encourage you. May He enable you not only to resist evil influences, but to beat back the forces of darkness by the Light of Jesus Christ.
 
Dear Eric,

May God bless you and keep you and I will be praying that the Lord will strengthen you as you follow Him. Remember He loves you so much and is concerned about every aspect of your life and He will help you to overcome your problems as you lay it all at His feet. You are not alone as He promises to be your helper, your comforter , your freind in the time of need. He knows your downfalls and we all have our weeknesses but being open about them and acknowledging them is a step in the right dirrection and He will honour you for that. None of us are perfect. It is satan who wants us defeated but you already know that there is power in the Blood of Jesus and all we have to do is speak His name and satan will flee.

This is a really good place for you to be as you can grow in the Lord and talk with other Christians. I will be praying that the Lord sends a good Christian friend to you as that is so important in the invironment that you are in. All things are possible with God.

May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you Eric and also welcome to the forum.:welcome::welcome:
 
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CD i've mentioned it already to you; it seems we are both in similiar, hard to deal with situations.

Lawlessness is triumphant, I see no hope. However, it is no coincidence you are where you are today, as well with me.

We are warriors for Christ, don't let anyone or anything quench your fire.
 
Thank you watchman. Being in the navy is not easy, as the same with any branch of the military. i'm hoping that once i get in the fleet i might come in contact with some true Christians who really do love Christ.

Eric Wright
 
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