Chris, in my own life I am extremely frustrated at God. I have many sessions where I curse His helpfulness. But everyday before I go to bed, I thank Him for all he has done. For the cross. For making me. For all my blessings. I repent and say no matter what I will push on and carry my cross. Sure, living life like the devil wants will be easier! But I hate the devils ways! you? Lets be realistic and honest, it is either God's way or our (the devils) way.
Life is frustrating for us! and imho it will only be getting worse. This is the LAST opportunity for God to test us with the presence of evil. In heaven there will be no afflictions, no infirmities, no suffering, no tears. Only joy, peace and happiness.
We are living in the last days. Just like in a race you take a deep breath before the finish line, we all need to be taking that breath! and finish the race. Nobody said it was easy. If a church did, they lied. Imagine how proud God is of His children who remain loyal despite suffering.
God has boasted about you for the last 13 years .
It does not matter I could ignore all the anti exposure and come running back to god, as I feel like doing now. But I will end up leaving again because I just cant get things working, not even baby steps.