How will God help me with this?

autumn oddity

autumn oddity

My issue is being alone and feeling isolated.

Before anyone says anything.. I go out alone alot and I have no issues with that...it's just ..it really isn't good to be alone all the time and be in your head.

I try and reach out to people and invite them places... But all I got was a friend that used me for a ride and a meal.

I feel like my mental health is deteriorating from being alone so long ( despite trying to form friends) and I just feel dead inside sometimes..like I'm not here


Friends are something I've prayed to God about for a very long time and I feel he half way answered it as I have online friends but it's not the same as irl friends. You need that interaction.

Idk... I just don't know what to do.
I'm nice, not mean, I dress nice... Friends have always been hard for me to come by

If God wants me to be alone and lonely for the rest of my life ....can he at least leave my mental health intact.

I feel like God wants to keep me in a box. Not having friends or anyone else for that matter. Because I try and it never works out ... I feel like God just wants me to be alone for the sake of being alone....

But I can't because I feel it's affecting me in bad ways...

How do I pray for God to send me friends?

And why does God seem so reluctant to do so?
 
Dear Autumn:

I clicked the "like" button to let you know I always read your threads and pray for you daily.

I hope this will help you feel a little better - You are a beloved member at Christian Forum Site and all of us here are "your friends." It may not be the same as hanging out with you and going out for a bite to eat, going to the lake, park or beach, nevertheless, we are your friends from all over and across the miles.

I praise God for your friends who reach out to you like Cturtle, AtomicSnowflake, Lanolin, Coffeedrinker, Evelyn, Biwi, Annie and the rest of our sisters, and brothers as well.

Please don't stop writing, Autumn, let us know how you're doing and also, thank you for praying for us as well.

God bless you, sister, you are a part of us and a blessing.
 
Cturtle said:
I think a better question is why God do I not have friends? What am i doing to keep any from being to close? Am i relying to much on people instead of You? Why do I blame you for something I don't have?

It's not His fault... nor is He trying to keep you in a box.
Click to expand...
I've asked that. I've also been trying...why assume I haven't been trying when I said I have?
 
Idk. I dont see my life getting better concerning these aspects ... And I don't want to live my life completely alone.

Much rather not be here.

Because it seems no matter what I do or how hard I try to form relationships... nothing works out.

It just seems like a force that I can't see stopping me from being happy... I just want to connect with people. That's all.

And it seems I can't do that. At best I'm just a person people use. Emotionally or physically.


Idk if things don't get better I can easily say it's not worth sticking around for.
 
Cturtle said:
I think a better question is why God do I not have friends? What am i doing to keep any from being to close? Am i relying to much on people instead of You? Why do I blame you for something I don't have?

It's not His fault... nor is He trying to keep you in a box.
Click to expand...
Also... I put the ball in God's court bc I try as I stated before and nothing comes of it. Plus I've been asking God to give me friends since I was in HS and that hasn't happened....

Sorry to double quote. I just don't see an edit button on my last post.
 
autumn oddity said:
Also... I put the ball in God's court bc I try as I stated before and nothing comes of it. Plus I've been asking God to give me friends since I was in HS and that hasn't happened....

Sorry to double quote. I just don't see an edit button on my last post.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately the ball is not in God's court. He cannot do for you what He has placed in your hands to do. He can warn you if a friendship is not healthy or if it's not one to get deeply involved in... but if we don't listen, then He will remain silent until we choose to obey what He said the first time...
 
God is building your character. Right now it seems you dont have any friends, and from your posts it seems you were so desperate to make friends you made them with the world, but God says friendship with the world is emnity with God. The world doesnt want to be friends with you as the world hates christians. The world will betray you and use you, its a fact of life, sadly. I have been there.

When I became a christian God showed me who my real friends were. And God showed me He was my friend. And the frst thing He wanted me to do was talk to him everyday. And spend time with Him, and listen to Him. I needed to cultivate that time with Him because Jesus laid down his life for me. He said I will never leave you nor forsake you. And He hasnt.

God showed me to be a friend I must be a sister to His brothers snd sisters. Who are his brothers and sisters? Those that do the will of God.

How do you find out what the will of God is for you? Just ask Him. Spend time reading His word. Then you will know. It takes more than a lifetime to know God. He will be your friend for eternity, so think about that before you go out. Youve already got someone who knows everything about you, who understands what you say even before you say a word. Do you know anything about Him?
 
autumn oddity said:
I've asked that. I've also been trying...why assume I haven't been trying when I said I have?
Click to expand...

Maybe because of your rant in the original post. You say all these things, but then you blow up (or rant) and act/speak like it's all Gods fault, I feel like He's putting me or wanting me in a box, I have no friends... when all the while the enemy is getting you to speak against what you want and getting you to believe lies about God.

When that happens, we end up working against what we are wanting and what Father desires we have.... but He does not desire that ANYONE take His place.. anyone whom we choose to put before Him and His Word.. end up not staying in our lives very long
 
A prayer you can pray.

Lord thank you that you call me your friend. Thank you that we have a friend in Jesus. Help me to be a friend and show myself friendly. I value your friendship as its a precious gift. Help me to share this gift with others face to face.
 
Cturtle is right I would repent of that lie. I recall you wrote that you had a christian girl friend, I dont know if shes someone you see in person but she obviously cared enough to warn you about being friends with the world.

Perhaps she is someone who would like to hang out with you.
I dont know if you go to church. But there are people in church that would like friends. You cant be friends with everybody but just pick one or two to hang out with. Read the bible together and pray for each other. Thats what friends do. When you need prayer you can just call each other on the phone. Do stuff together that you both enjoy. It could be anything or as simple as just going for a walk. You dont need to look nice or drive anywhere or spend money.

I tell you I had a workmate who was a half hearted christian. She latched on to me and we hung out together quite a bit, but everything she wanted to do involved spending money, so when she didnt have a job, it seems like she was not so keen to hang with me, when I didnt have a job, even worse. She didnt drive so I was kind of driving her everywhere all the way across town sometimes, but the thing was, she was so keen to do worldly things, that a simple thing like coming to a bible study she always had something else to do, or an excuse. It took a while for me to see we couldnt be sisters in the true sense of the word. She once invited me to go with her to see a movie I didnt want to see, i think it was one of the hunger game movies anyway, it got to the point where she, like maybe your former friends was just using me to indulge in her addictions, and all this stuff happened where she would pike at the last minute and only do things she wanted to do, nevermind my plans.

You have to be quite firm that your time spent with your friends is doing Gods will. For example, one guy at church (hes an elderly guy) offered to help with gardening, and that was cool we had fun gardening, but afterward, he said to me are we going out for a drink. I said we already had a cup of tea at church what do you mean. It turns out he meant a drink at a bar. Im like no, plus Im not buying anyone any drink...!! One of the elders at church warned me he could try to bludge off me. So I just had to be firm. Not everyone is strong we all have areas of weakness and temptation. But just say no when that happens.
 
autumn oddity said:
can he at least leave my mental health intact.
Click to expand...

Something to realize that the Holy Spirit ministered to me while I was crocheting and listening to a pastor preach.....is that your mental health is your responsibility (and this applies to everyone).... God will not/can not go against what we allow.

He has given us all the responsibility to renew our minds to His Words and Ways, to then to act accordingly, and to speak what he has already said. His word says that anything we say will come to pass, but if we're siding with the world (devil) and its ways... craving everything that it contains...we're going to experience difficulties more than is normal for a child of God (for Jesus said in this life we will have troubles... but take courage I have overcome the world).

autumn oddity said:
Idk. I dont see my life getting better concerning these aspects ... And I don't want to live my life completely alone.

Much rather not be here.

Because it seems no matter what I do or how hard I try to form relationships... nothing works out.

It just seems like a force that I can't see stopping me from being happy... I just want to connect with people. That's all.

And it seems I can't do that. At best I'm just a person people use. Emotionally or physically.


Idk if things don't get better I can easily say it's not worth sticking around for.
Click to expand...

Sounds to me like your not satisfied with the friends that you have. Yes you may not be able to go out to the bar or to a movie or what have you... but God has answered your prayers and is keeping you away from all of the ways of the world at the same time.

As I read what you write... I can see one way that one of your friendships has cost you... your constantly talking death instead of life. And is one of the the reasons why you still deal with fear and anxiety. One of Your friends used to always talk like that also... and you have picked up his bad habit. All the while the devilis using that ungodly/unequally yoked connection to destroy you a little at a time. And every time/word you speak that is about death... opens the door just a little wider for the enemy to bring in sickness and disease and symptoms that cause you to think your dying. It's all a trick and lie from the devil to get you to allow him access, right and authority to steal, kill and destroy you. He's stealing your very life from you... and yet you don't realize that this is not Gods plan for you.

If you will humble yourself and submit to God and His ways like Lanolin was saying.... God will restore you and set your feet on the right path... if you keep seeking the world and its ways... it will eventually destroy you and you will have what you have been speaking... and no one can stop it except you. For God said
I call heaven and earth to witness this day against you that I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live And may love the Lord your God, obey His voice, and cling to Him. For He is your life and the length of your days, that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to give to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
Deuteronomy 30:19‭-‬20 AMPC
 
autumn oddity said:
My issue is being alone and feeling isolated.

Before anyone says anything.. I go out alone alot and I have no issues with that...it's just ..it really isn't good to be alone all the time and be in your head.

I try and reach out to people and invite them places... But all I got was a friend that used me for a ride and a meal.

I feel like my mental health is deteriorating from being alone so long ( despite trying to form friends) and I just feel dead inside sometimes..like I'm not here


Friends are something I've prayed to God about for a very long time and I feel he half way answered it as I have online friends but it's not the same as irl friends. You need that interaction.

Idk... I just don't know what to do.
I'm nice, not mean, I dress nice... Friends have always been hard for me to come by

If God wants me to be alone and lonely for the rest of my life ....can he at least leave my mental health intact.

I feel like God wants to keep me in a box. Not having friends or anyone else for that matter. Because I try and it never works out ... I feel like God just wants me to be alone for the sake of being alone....

But I can't because I feel it's affecting me in bad ways...

How do I pray for God to send me friends?

And why does God seem so reluctant to do so?
Click to expand...
 
Good Afternoon, Autumn.
I hear exactly what you are saying and I do understand. A year or so after my divorce I started to feel alone, too. I went to church, but I still felt alone.
I decided to get out of my comfort zone and join the Ladies ministry at church. Then I decided to start going to the evening ladies bible studies. Then I decided to try a Tuesday night home group. I realized I was the one closing myself off, it was not God. I had to make decisions and changes so I turned to fellowship within the church. I also signed up to go to Israel next year with a group from the church. I don,t know one person going and that's a bit scary for me, but I need to do this.

I don't think God limits us, I think we limit ourselves. I know we don't always understand God or at times the situations we are in, but we can still trust in Him that He knows us better than we know ourselves. Lean on God and stretch yourself and get out of your comfort zone. There is an entire world out there and people in it who would love to know you and be your friend. You can also volunteer in the church. Churches always need help and will not say no to you. I put myself on our church's 911 email blast for help. I have responded when I can and helped out and I am meeting people this way, too.

I am very much an expressive / outgoing driver personality. Yet, when I am in new surroundings I tend to be a loaner. I have learned to welcome this new loaner side of me and I have been using it to throw myself into studying the bible more, reading new books on God/leadership/Holy Spirit, etc. Please do not look at yourself with pity or as a victim to something and please do not get mad at God. Instead pray and ask God what you can learn from this and is there something he is trying to teach you in all of this. Love God regardless of how you are feeling and throw yourself into HIM. He will take control of your situation and help you and develop you, if you let Him. New journeys can be scary, but they can also be exciting when we let go of ourselves and trust in God.

Take the opportunity to invest in the Holy Trinity of God and allow them all individually and in unity to surround you, love you, develop you, transform you and show you how to love God more with all your heart and how to praise God more with all your heart. We were created to worship God. Instead of feeling lonely and giving into the emotions that the enemy wants to use to create chaos within you, begin to worship God and lean into Him. I promise you will begin to see your entire world change. As you transform and change I bet you will notice that others begin to see this change and gravitate towards you. It's a win win situation.

Have a wonderful Sunday and week. I pray each day you draw closer to God and worship Him fully. As your perspective changes, you will see an entirely new world before you.... take care.
 
Abdicate said:
We all make a myriad of choices every day. Choose life and capture every negative thought. It's the key, and your choice alone.
Click to expand...
Exactly and to paint a clear picture.
Don't SPEAK THEM.....words give life to thoughts.
Don't KEEP THINKING on them......thoughts that are continuing to be thought about end up being SPOKEN and that gives LIFE to them.

Negative thoughts are ALL THOUGHTS opposed to The Written Word Of God.
Blessings
FCJ
 
Cturtle said:
Something to realize that the Holy Spirit ministered to me while I was crocheting and listening to a pastor preach.....is that your mental health is your responsibility (and this applies to everyone).... God will not/can not go against what we allow.

He has given us all the responsibility to renew our minds to His Words and Ways, to then to act accordingly, and to speak what he has already said. His word says that anything we say will come to pass, but if we're siding with the world (devil) and its ways... craving everything that it contains...we're going to experience difficulties more than is normal for a child of God (for Jesus said in this life we will have troubles... but take courage I have overcome the world).



Sounds to me like your not satisfied with the friends that you have. Yes you may not be able to go out to the bar or to a movie or what have you... but God has answered your prayers and is keeping you away from all of the ways of the world at the same time.

As I read what you write... I can see one way that one of your friendships has cost you... your constantly talking death instead of life. And is one of the the reasons why you still deal with fear and anxiety. One of Your friends used to always talk like that also... and you have picked up his bad habit. All the while the devilis using that ungodly/unequally yoked connection to destroy you a little at a time. And every time/word you speak that is about death... opens the door just a little wider for the enemy to bring in sickness and disease and symptoms that cause you to think your dying. It's all a trick and lie from the devil to get you to allow him access, right and authority to steal, kill and destroy you. He's stealing your very life from you... and yet you don't realize that this is not Gods plan for you.

If you will humble yourself and submit to God and His ways like Lanolin was saying.... God will restore you and set your feet on the right path... if you keep seeking the world and its ways... it will eventually destroy you and you will have what you have been speaking... and no one can stop it except you. For God said
I call heaven and earth to witness this day against you that I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live And may love the Lord your God, obey His voice, and cling to Him. For He is your life and the length of your days, that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to give to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
Deuteronomy 30:19‭-‬20 AMPC
Click to expand...

I love my friends to death it's just I'd like to have some with me that i can see time with.
 
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