Hurting

mattjanes said:
I read your posts and I did not ignore them. I'm sorry that it seems to you that I only want to argue. Would you like me to not argue anymore? didn't think it was arguing.I didn't see it as arguing but rather showing you the state of my inner spiritual crisis.
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Matt, what I want is for you to consider and receive what we are saying about being born again, that is the most important thing in your life at this moment and NOT questions about Eternal Punishment, you living on the street know how dangerous it can be, you don't know if you will wake up tomorrow morning or not, because if something should happen to you tonight this argument becomes a moot point, you will have your question answered by first hand experience.

I spent the first half of my life ridiculing and condemning religious people because I was spiritually dead and here is what is said about that,

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 2Co 4:3-6

That is how some of us feel about you, you are precious to Jesus and to us also, we are concerned for you because we think you are one of us, a child of God, but yet unborn, still in the womb, so to speak, an unborn brother, that is why we are focusing on the Gospel and not your questions or concerns, because we know after you come to Christ He will answer all of your questions as He has with us.

Jesus died on the Cross so that your sins would/could be forgiven, so why don't you receive Jesus and become a child of God like us? John 1:12

IN His Love,

Gene
 
mattjanes said:
sadly my Christian faith has been mortally wounded. I do not want to live, and pray for death, but I highly doubt I would ever kill myself.

I told my God that he would lose me if he didn't give clear instructions and end this confusion.

Still believe in God. And think the Bible contains the greatest wisdom. I believe there was no one more influential in our history and then Jesus Christ. However, I can never follow what goes against my conscience. To have somebody tortured eternally in hell goes against my conscience of what is good and what is just.

This life on earth is like a second compared to eternity. Nobody deserves to be in agony and forever and ever and ever because of what they have done with one second while blind and inclined to do what's wrong. There is much in the Bible especially the Old Testament that'sGod has done or commanded and get people to do that goes against my conscience of what is just and good.

I know that I am inadequate without God but will never go against my conscience which the Lord has given and I will not commit myself to beliefs that I feel is false and damaging to my mental health.

But I did not come to this site to offend anybody or discourage them about their beliefs. I asked for your prayers.
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Hey brother, can I ask how things are at the moment?
 
Matt, Why do you do destructive things that get you in trouble? You are a young man get your act together before it's too late.
 
I've never drank so much until I was on the streets. It makes me more social and believe it or not less irritable.now the important thing was I went to exchange a cell phone. Long story short they deactivated the one I had and because I was angry that's the service plan it never got changed to the other one causing a huge loss of money and having to be purchased at the service place. I overreacted and cost a thing and it was raising my voice. I was thrown out and given a no trespassing charge and they did not give me the receipt. So what I found was that I couldn't renew the service plan because my phone number no longer existed because the phone I have is deactivated and worthless now. now that I have no receipt and a no trespassing order for the Walmart store there is no way I can get this phone activated. I'd be happy to buy a new service plan, but I cannot even do that. so I went to a liquor store. Not very intoxicated and lost control... will be back g2go now
 
I went into stores so drunk I can't even remember stealing. I found that I was filling up my backpack full of blueberries strawberries and tomatoes and running out of the store.

I do however remember standing on top of an electrical box so the police couldn't get me while they were looking at me. & I do remember running up a ramp while the cop cars were driving after me.

remember getting tackled and was supposed to go to jail but went to detox instead. I got very lucky. Was very sore and bruised the next morning.
 
You need to turn from this wicked lifestyle and start doing something wholesome and edifying.

I've been drunk before and I knew what I was doing. I just didn't care. You know what you are doing and you keep choosing to do it.

Shame on you. Get cleaned up and serve the Lord.
 
didn't say I didn't know what I was doing but I do not remember much of it in the lot of the things that I do while intoxicated I would never do while sober.

yes it is true that I am apathetic but I do care very much about finding meaning in life and finding the truth if I can
 
mattjanes said:
didn't say I didn't know what I was doing but I do not remember much of it in the lot of the things that I do while intoxicated I would never do while sober.

yes it is true that I am apathetic but I do care very much about finding meaning in life and finding the truth if I can
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mattjanes said:
I've never drank so much until I was on the streets. It makes me more social and believe it or not less irritable.now the important thing was I went to exchange a cell phone. Long story short they deactivated the one I had and because I was angry that's the service plan it never got changed to the other one causing a huge loss of money and having to be purchased at the service place. I overreacted and cost a thing and it was raising my voice. I was thrown out and given a no trespassing charge and they did not give me the receipt. So what I found was that I couldn't renew the service plan because my phone number no longer existed because the phone I have is deactivated and worthless now. now that I have no receipt and a no trespassing order for the Walmart store there is no way I can get this phone activated. I'd be happy to buy a new service plan, but I cannot even do that. so I went to a liquor store. Not very intoxicated and lost control... will be back g2go now
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I don't know your life or if you think the way things were for you is an excuse to be an alcoholic but I can tell you right now the only person you're hurting is yourself. Idk if you are doing this to rebel against God? God doesn't want you to be miserable, you are just letting the devil win. Maybe you think that drinking is helping you to cope? It isn't. You're just punishing yourself. You aren't going to find the meaning to your life by being drunk, you'll just continue to be miserable. If you just gave up your rebellion to God you'd be saving yourself a lot of the pain you will cause yourself otherwise. Trust me I know, I was literally on the verge of suicide before I quit rebelling (my story is different than yours but I think me and you have a lot in common). I haven't heard about your life but I assume it was probably pretty rough? I hope you don't have to go through the things I went through before I became saved. It was absolutely horrid, a true nightmare. I don't even like talking about my life before I was saved, but I felt like it might help if you could possibly relate. I'm praying for you Matt.
 
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mattjanes:

Drinking is an expensive habit, emptying your pockets and robbing you of the opportunity to find a place to live. God wants you to have a home, a place of safety and refuge and shelter.
 
I understand that drinking is expensive meaning I don't deny what you said, but I found out yesterday that just walking into a restaurant that's not a fancy restaurant and ordering a glass of orange juice with a bacon omelette cost more than the bottle of vodka that would keep me feeling pretty good for the whole day.

I was feeling miserable yesterday and sticky and filthy and sweaty, it was humid and flies and mosquitos were everywhere. had not changed for awhile and not showering. worse than that was the mind was tormented.

I simply bought a pint of vodka and from what I remember the suffering was entirely gone.my point is that it is very difficult to resist the impulse to make the suffering disappear for relatively inexpensive cost.
Euphemia said:
mattjanes:

Drinking is an expensive habit, emptying your pockets and robbing you of the opportunity to find a place to live. God wants you to have a home, a place of safety and refuge and shelter.
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mattjanes said:
I understand that drinking is expensive meaning I don't deny what you said, but I found out yesterday that just walking into a restaurant that's not a fancy restaurant and ordering a glass of orange juice with a bacon omelette cost more than the bottle of vodka that would keep me feeling pretty good for the whole day.

I was feeling miserable yesterday and sticky and filthy and sweaty, it was humid and flies and mosquitos were everywhere. had not changed for awhile and not showering. worse than that was the mind was tormented.

I simply bought a pint of vodka and from what I remember the suffering was entirely gone.my point is that it is very difficult to resist the impulse to make the suffering disappear for relatively inexpensive cost.
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Alcohol lies. It brings worse suffering. Spend your cash on proper food for the body. Obey God in this and take care of your body, and ask Him to take care of your circumstances. Ask Him in the name of Jesus to impart Godly wisdom to you and obey Him when He does it.
 
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