I think I committed blasphemy against the Holy Spirit

I feel so lost and guilty. I've been bed ridden for a week and I've had thoughts of taking my life. I wake up multiple times throughout the course of me sleeping in absolute terror. I'll probably never know whether or not I crossed the line until I'm facing judgement. I don't know if there's any forgiveness for me. What I said was awful and it wasn't just said on one occasion but two or three different occasions. I feel like the walking dead. All I can do is trust in Jesus Christ but God doesn't change His mind on sin and He makes no exceptions. It clearly says in the Bible that it's unforgivable. All I can do is trust in Christ but the unforgivable sin doesn't leave my mind!
 
It also doesn't help that there's so many different takes on what the sin actually is. Some say once you say the unforgivable sin, you're done whether you're repentant or not. There's no forgiveness. Some say that you can be forgiven but such a person who commits that very sin would never go to Christ to be forgiven in the first place. Some say that it's hearing the Gospel and rejecting Jesus Christ until death. Who's right?
 
I feel so lost and guilty. I've been bed ridden for a week and I've had thoughts of taking my life. I wake up multiple times throughout the course of me sleeping in absolute terror. I'll probably never know whether or not I crossed the line until I'm facing judgement. I don't know if there's any forgiveness for me. What I said was awful and it wasn't just said on one occasion but two or three different occasions. I feel like the walking dead. All I can do is trust in Jesus Christ but God doesn't change His mind on sin and He makes no exceptions. It clearly says in the Bible that it's unforgivable. All I can do is trust in Christ but the unforgivable sin doesn't leave my mind!

We must be careful in not allowing Satan to lead us. Call on God who is able to help in this time of great need.
 
Who's right?
the Bible once again what does 1 john 1:9 read ? if WE confess our sins ( not my neighbors but ours}

then HE will do his part " HE " is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Stop listening to man --do you believe the Bible ? i cant do this for you nor can any one else its By faith . you have to take the word for what it says
 
We must be careful in not allowing Satan to lead us. Call on God who is able to help in this time of great need.
i like this scripture Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. i fear he is listening to the devil our adversary the accuser of the brethren the father of ALL lies the thief

John 10:10

King James Version

10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. i rest my case the evidence in scripture has been presented
 
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