I feel so lost and guilty. I've been bed ridden for a week and I've had thoughts of taking my life. I wake up multiple times throughout the course of me sleeping in absolute terror. I'll probably never know whether or not I crossed the line until I'm facing judgement. I don't know if there's any forgiveness for me. What I said was awful and it wasn't just said on one occasion but two or three different occasions. I feel like the walking dead. All I can do is trust in Jesus Christ but God doesn't change His mind on sin and He makes no exceptions. It clearly says in the Bible that it's unforgivable. All I can do is trust in Christ but the unforgivable sin doesn't leave my mind!