So today I gashed my finger with glass and had to wrap it up. Went to the gym later and started working out. Near the end of my workout my wound started leaking even out of the bandage, so I got up and went to wash it off and wrap it up again. While I was washing it , these 3 young girls went and told the gym owner and he came and had a talk with me and was pretty embarrassing conversation. While he was talking to me I could see them whispering and giggling. Than I just erupted with rage and even swore a little...... I let my anger get the best of me and now I feel horrible.... set a bad testimony for my friends who also saw/heard me. I'm gonna go apologize but I still feel bad.
Hi Alang,
Living as God wants isn't a matter of behavior and following the bible, it is a matter of walking in God's Spirit and living the life of God (the Word) found in the bible. If someone tries to live by behavior they will be subject to how their flesh is, like high testosterone levels. When we walk in the Spirit, we don't have outbursts because God reveals things to us moment to moment and fills us with the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (gal 5:22-23). When we submit our lives to God, it is God who works through us, not us doing rote acts. Have you ever asked God to have his Holy Spirit to be actively working in you and through you in every part of you in everything you are? If no, then that is the first thing you need to do. Do you trust that God will do this (reveal the new creation that you are through you)? It is God revealing the new you through you, not you forcing yourself to be the you that you believe God wants you to be. When you become saved you are now dead and buried and you are now in Christ, risen in him, having his mind, having his Spirit, and are now a part of his body.
If you seem to walk by God's Spirit some of the time and walk in your old self most of the time, you need to train yourself to say no to your flesh and yes to God's Spirit. Just like you train and strengthen your body in the gym, you need to purposely, consciously train yourself to say no to sin and it's voices not just everyday, but every moment.
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds

5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" (2 Corinthians 10:3-5).
When you decidedly refuse vain imaginations when you actively bring your thoughts into subjection to Christ, you will be prepared when the tempting angry moment arises, for you will have already trained your mind to ignore the bad thoughts that stir anger. When you treat bad thoughts as non existent, ignoring them, you open yourself to hearing God's Spirit. When you hear God's Spirit and submit to it that is when the most wonderful things happen.
I am you sure that you know the damaging consequences of displaying rage (tarnished reputation, makes Christians look no different than world, others scared that it might happen again, salvation message and God's goodness now seen as questionable because of your behavior). Apologizing is definitely a great start, but can't guarantee that all the consequences are negated. However, if you start walking in the Spirit people will feel the change in you because they will feel the Spirit in you. When you walk in God's Spirit you have real love coming from you, not just an appearance of love because you are doing nice things. Although, many people can't decipher deception from truth in speech, when love is genuine many people can decipher that it is real.
In God's Spirit we are shown a different perspective than we see when looking through our own self. For example, the gym owner may not be saved. He behaves the way he did because he doesn't know God and thus is being gripped by sin and evil which without God he has no escape from. He may feel he can't stop being condescending even if he wants to. Maybe his whole life is grounded in tormenting thoughts about money and he feared losing the business of the three girls. Without God, he has no way out of the evil thoughts that caused him to act this way, regardless of the reason he behaved as he did. If unsaved he is subject to Satan and evil principalities.
"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."(Ephesians 6:12).
However, as a believer you have a way out. It is walking in God's Spirit. Make a conscious effort to cast away your vain imaginations everyday so that you are ready when the time of tempting comes. Pray to God. Ask for him to reveal his perspective in every situation in your life and to fill you with his supernatural love for people so that you have compassion on them even when they are behaving from evil thoughts. We can't expect the world to love us, but we must love the world so that they will want to know love. This however, can only be done through God's love.
Also, if the man was saved, he may be in the same situation as you have been, but I believe better things for you now.