I understand Pancakes. I won't quote Scripture directly, but I was told something like this at school. Some point in my life, I did feel like God left me alone. I couldn't hear, see or feel Him. Heck I even began to question His existence (no comment about that please anyone)! But like what one of the teachers told me at school, God doesn't talk through loud noises or voices or raging storms. But in silence. I know this is hard to comprehend and quite frankly I couldn't understand it either. But I realise that even though God doesn't talk back He is there and He is listening. He does answer your prays though you don't know it. I can say this from experience. God is there with you, it's just our five senses don't pick up His signal on the radar [emoji14]. I still remember what my year 8 teacher told me as well. Bad things will happen to good people. Good people deserve in all the might to be treated well and with respect and love. But unfortunately, its the not so good people who get that. Being a Christian, we're strong both spiritually and mentally. It is difficult I know. And trust me, I've been through the same struggles as you. Some people do believe their not worth an apology and under deserving. But trust me. Your worth more than you think. Of course, Scripture says it all. Church is good and all. But I remember Jesus said that church isn't a building with fancy statues and gold stuff. Church is actually a group of Believers. A group of people with faith who pray together. When I went away with some friends a while back, I couldn't attend church cause our school had other plans for sunday and there weren't many churches around. But thank goodness that two of those girls I went with were Christians. I still remember that the eldest said Grace before we dug into some 2 Minute Noodles. To me that was church. Just hanging around good Christian girls. Church is awesome. Yes. But honestly, praying with people is awesome too. Now I don't know if this random blob of stuff is gonna help, but I hope it does. Btw girls are awesome too. Jesus came to abolish sexism. Girls aren't inferior. We equal. I have a quote on my wall. It says. Woman was made from the rib of man. Not from his head to top him. Not from his foot to be stepped on by him. But from his side to be equal with him. Under his arm to be protected by him. And near his heart to be loved by him. Personally myself, men who don't act like that aren't nice at all. Girls can become priests. HALA I LOVE YOU PANCAKES! Thanks for helping me out too!