Hello, I'm new to the forum here. This is going to be a really long post and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read the whole thing or even just skims to get the gist of this post. I wanted to get an unbiased (to me or ppl involved ) faith based perspective of my situation/story here.
I am 23 years old and feel very over protected by my mother. I've read much worse situations but I don't believe that makes my situation any less. I've always (well, as much as a growing boy will) listened to my mother with very little to no question. When I was much younger between elementary - most of middle school my parents (mostly my mother) were understandably concerned with where I was, who I was with, to what time I would be there, and what time I needed to be home. Of course if curfew was broken there would be punishment for it. Although most of the time they would be the ones to pick me up. Sleep overs were few and far between to my memory and my parents always had to talk to my friends parents before I was allowed to start hanging out with them. It was very rare that any of my friends came over or any of my parents friends for that matter come to think of it.
We moved to another state before I went to high school and for a summer before making any real friends I would go back and forth between states to hang out with my old friends. Always had to come back home and never stayed over. High school came around and things changed. As a household we became Christian's and we were going to church every Sunday. Only at first was I bored with it but I soon learned to enjoy it. The Christian friends I made at the first church were quickly judged by my mother because "they and their families weren't actually Christians". I even secretly dated one of the girls in the church because I didn't want my mother to find out and give me lip about it. The relationship didn't last long and after we broke up I was pretty much told I could have warned you of her. There was another girl in the church I was interested in but I was forbidden to be with her because "she was headed down the wrong path". My mother likes to pride herself on her ability to make snap judgements of people. Even after I graduated high school and got a job (I opted not to go to school) I still had strict curfews and can even think of some really embarrassing moments where I'm literally running home to not break curfew. I'm really an open person to anyone and never really speak much, so expressing my feelings is something I don't do very often or well. Talking about girls was never a topic of talking between my mother and I or even between my dad and I.
We had moved churches due to some church politics and the next church we went to was actually really nice, until my mom decided it was becoming a cult. So we moved churches again this is really good and as long as my mom likes it we'll stay.
I've been dating a Catholic girl for about 6 months now and with no surprise my mother doesn't like her. They got into an argument over my mother basically telling her she needed to come to our church in order to date me. I don't think its fair for my mom to be butting into my relationship like this especially with the topic of church. I feel like I would only be allowed to be with someone my mother likes and not who I like. She's thrown the "don't yolk with the non believer" verse at me and has even said she would kill herself if I told her I was going to marry the girl I was with now. The argument they had became really heated and my mother told my gf to get the f*** out. She (my mother) felt disrespected and now hates her (my gf) for it. She hates when I come home late when hanging out with her/my friends. And staying over my girlfriends house (she lives with her parents) or dorm (she has a roommate) is something that can never be brought up.
The first time I stayed over my girlfriends house it was because there was a huge snow storm and my car had gotten stuck on my gf's street. Her mother, father, and some helpful neighbors dug me out, but there was no way I was going to be able to drive home. My parents called my gf's parents to see if it was ok to stay, my mother was even willing to send my dad 0ut in the storm to go pick me up. They even tried to see if my gf's family had intentions of going to church that next morning (storm was on a Saturday). After being told they would "think about it" I was able to stay. I was also told to behave. I'm not 15..I'm 23. The only thing I've been taught is to be home on time, I don't feel like there has been any preparation to be let out of the house. I can't move out because I just simply can't afford to do so. I understand honoring thy mother and father and "my house, my rules" but when do I get to grow up? Why do I still get treated like I'm 15? Why do I feel like I'm not allowed to feel the way I do about my gf? I feel as if I can't act upon my feelings towards my gf because of my mother not liking her. I feel like I can't make any decisions on my own. I really want to know what to do. I really feel like just doing what I want no matter what they think. But I don't want to hurt them, seem unappreciative, or make them feel like I don't love them.
Would God really not allow for a Christian to date a Catholic? Is that even an issue? Is there even a real difference between the two? I'm really torn here. Any help would be great. And would answer any questions about anything. Thank you!
I am 23 years old and feel very over protected by my mother. I've read much worse situations but I don't believe that makes my situation any less. I've always (well, as much as a growing boy will) listened to my mother with very little to no question. When I was much younger between elementary - most of middle school my parents (mostly my mother) were understandably concerned with where I was, who I was with, to what time I would be there, and what time I needed to be home. Of course if curfew was broken there would be punishment for it. Although most of the time they would be the ones to pick me up. Sleep overs were few and far between to my memory and my parents always had to talk to my friends parents before I was allowed to start hanging out with them. It was very rare that any of my friends came over or any of my parents friends for that matter come to think of it.
We moved to another state before I went to high school and for a summer before making any real friends I would go back and forth between states to hang out with my old friends. Always had to come back home and never stayed over. High school came around and things changed. As a household we became Christian's and we were going to church every Sunday. Only at first was I bored with it but I soon learned to enjoy it. The Christian friends I made at the first church were quickly judged by my mother because "they and their families weren't actually Christians". I even secretly dated one of the girls in the church because I didn't want my mother to find out and give me lip about it. The relationship didn't last long and after we broke up I was pretty much told I could have warned you of her. There was another girl in the church I was interested in but I was forbidden to be with her because "she was headed down the wrong path". My mother likes to pride herself on her ability to make snap judgements of people. Even after I graduated high school and got a job (I opted not to go to school) I still had strict curfews and can even think of some really embarrassing moments where I'm literally running home to not break curfew. I'm really an open person to anyone and never really speak much, so expressing my feelings is something I don't do very often or well. Talking about girls was never a topic of talking between my mother and I or even between my dad and I.
We had moved churches due to some church politics and the next church we went to was actually really nice, until my mom decided it was becoming a cult. So we moved churches again this is really good and as long as my mom likes it we'll stay.
I've been dating a Catholic girl for about 6 months now and with no surprise my mother doesn't like her. They got into an argument over my mother basically telling her she needed to come to our church in order to date me. I don't think its fair for my mom to be butting into my relationship like this especially with the topic of church. I feel like I would only be allowed to be with someone my mother likes and not who I like. She's thrown the "don't yolk with the non believer" verse at me and has even said she would kill herself if I told her I was going to marry the girl I was with now. The argument they had became really heated and my mother told my gf to get the f*** out. She (my mother) felt disrespected and now hates her (my gf) for it. She hates when I come home late when hanging out with her/my friends. And staying over my girlfriends house (she lives with her parents) or dorm (she has a roommate) is something that can never be brought up.
The first time I stayed over my girlfriends house it was because there was a huge snow storm and my car had gotten stuck on my gf's street. Her mother, father, and some helpful neighbors dug me out, but there was no way I was going to be able to drive home. My parents called my gf's parents to see if it was ok to stay, my mother was even willing to send my dad 0ut in the storm to go pick me up. They even tried to see if my gf's family had intentions of going to church that next morning (storm was on a Saturday). After being told they would "think about it" I was able to stay. I was also told to behave. I'm not 15..I'm 23. The only thing I've been taught is to be home on time, I don't feel like there has been any preparation to be let out of the house. I can't move out because I just simply can't afford to do so. I understand honoring thy mother and father and "my house, my rules" but when do I get to grow up? Why do I still get treated like I'm 15? Why do I feel like I'm not allowed to feel the way I do about my gf? I feel as if I can't act upon my feelings towards my gf because of my mother not liking her. I feel like I can't make any decisions on my own. I really want to know what to do. I really feel like just doing what I want no matter what they think. But I don't want to hurt them, seem unappreciative, or make them feel like I don't love them.
Would God really not allow for a Christian to date a Catholic? Is that even an issue? Is there even a real difference between the two? I'm really torn here. Any help would be great. And would answer any questions about anything. Thank you!