Sex before marriage

Belindab77

Belindab77

I have discussions with Christians who believe that sex before marriage was fine. I've seen passages about man and wife...but not about,....friends with benefits.
I,do not believe in sex before. Marriage. Can you find some scripture with confirms this?Not about engaged couples...but between friends
 
Belindab77 said:
I have discussions with Christians who believe that sex before marriage was fine.
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I think they live in a Disney World. 9 times out of 10 the woman gets burned by a dead beat boyfriend with no legal recourse if she gets pregnant. It's an irresponsible male's paradise for there to be no marriage before sex. We already have too many abortions, adoptions and social welfare cases as a result.
 
crossnote said:
I think they live in a Disney World. 9 times out of 10 the woman gets burned by a dead beat boyfriend with no legal recourse if she gets pregnant. It's an irresponsible male's paradise for there to be no marriage before sex. We already have too many abortions, adoptions and social welfare cases as a result.
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Thanks, Crossnote,
I want to be able to quote scripture when I am discussing. Do you know of scripture that I can quote...which indicates sex before marriage is wrong?
 
Belindab77 said:
Thanks, Crossnote,
I want to be able to quote scripture when I am discussing. Do you know of scripture that I can quote...which indicates sex before marriage is wrong?
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Perhaps I can, but you would have to first define marriage. Otherwise it would be called fornication.
 
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Belindab77 said:
Thanks, Crossnote,
I want to be able to quote scripture when I am discussing. Do you know of scripture that I can quote...which indicates sex before marriage is wrong?
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Based on the Biblical story of Jacob, marriage is "the joining of flesh" - I.E. SEX. Even though Jacob didn't know what he was doing in the dark, the next morning, he was MARRIED to Leah - Surprise!!!!.

A "Wedding" is really nothing more than a "civil contract signing" between two people detailing the Legal aspects of their relationship, Property ownership, Signing rights, Tax regulations, visitation rights, and conditions under which the contract can be terminated, etc.

Then after the religious hoopla, and the party afterwards, theoretically the happy couple goes somewhere private, and "gets Married".

These days some (maybe most) couples in the U.S. have been married long before the "Wedding", and are probably already in multiple adulteries already.
 
Belindab77 said:
I have discussions with Christians who believe that sex before marriage was fine. I've seen passages about man and wife...but not about,....friends with benefits.
I,do not believe in sex before. Marriage. Can you find some scripture with confirms this?Not about engaged couples...but between friends
Click to expand...
Galatians 5:19-21 "Anyone can see the behavior that belongs to the unspiritual nature: Fornication, indecency .... I warn you ... that no one who behaves like that will ever inherit the kingdom of God".
 
It sounds like the Christians with whom you have been discussing this have made a decision and are challenging you to prove they are wrong.

Old saying: A man convinced against his will remains a doubter still.

If you were to 'win' this discussion, it is unlikely that the others would truly change their mind.

Please remember (or learn, if not previously learned) that regardless of procreation (or STDs), God's purpose for sex is to cement the permanent relationship between a husband and wife. The cement is weakened if it is used improperly.

Engaging in sex outside of marriage weakens the association with the other as an exclusive, life-time commitment. If the persons are not yet married, they no longer in their heart see sex as a symbol of a permanent committed union. Later, when the relationship of a marriage is being attacked, it is much harder to maintain the commitment to the union through the rough spots since one of (but not the only) source of strength has been weakened.

Needing scripture is a ruse.
 
Belindab77 said:
I have discussions with Christians who believe that sex before marriage was fine. I've seen passages about man and wife...but not about,....friends with benefits.
I,do not believe in sex before. Marriage. Can you find some scripture with confirms this?Not about engaged couples...but between friends
Click to expand...
Bible states clearly that sex outside of marriage is sin to the Lord!
 
Belindab77 said:
Not about engaged couples...
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Just a personal illustration regarding engaged couples:

Don't count chickens before they are hatched. Don't act married when it is in the future.

When I was young (in my early twenties), I became engaged to a wonderful young Christian woman. There were things that would potentially been difficult for us, and I wanted to address them head-on, while she was content with waiting on the Lord. I was in the Air Force, she was in the Army. I wanted to get started ensuring joint assignments while we worked out more permanent solutions.

Anyway, I believe my impatience drove her away, and we did not end up marrying. In fact, I was the photographer at her wedding to another Christian man. And yes, I could look my Christian brother in the eye, knowing I had not violated their marriage even before it had taken place.

The thing is, just because a couple is engaged does not mean they are married, and they should not act as if they were.
 
Belindab77 said:
I have discussions with Christians who believe that sex before marriage was fine. I've seen passages about man and wife...but not about,....friends with benefits.
I,do not believe in sex before. Marriage. Can you find some scripture with confirms this?Not about engaged couples...but between friends
Click to expand...
Thank you all for your replies and further Biblical scripture. Belinda
 
crossnote said:
Perhaps I can, but you would have to first define marriage. Otherwise it would be called fornication.
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Post#4

Belindab77 said:
I'm relatively new in the Lord and I believe all of the responses have helped me. Thanks very much Crossnote.
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Post #13
Belindab77 said:
I'm relatively new in the Lord and I believe all of the responses have helped me. Thanks very much Crossnote.
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Post#14

crossnote said:
Belindab77 , Sorry, but your last response to me shows no writing added.
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Post#15

crossnote said:
Yes, today I see this and also your response in #13 which I couldn't see yesterday. weirdness.🆘 bobinfaith ??
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Post #16


Hello Belinda and crossnote;

I copied and pasted the post strings and it seems there was a little technical weirdness. But Belinda seems back on track with the discussion.

Belinda, you're the author of this thread. Lets go forward. If you have an additional comment or question, please post it and we'll go from there.

God bless everyone here and thank you.
 
Belindab77 said:
I have discussions with Christians who believe that sex before marriage was fine. I've seen passages about man and wife...but not about,....friends with benefits.
I,do not believe in sex before. Marriage. Can you find some scripture with confirms this?Not about engaged couples...but between friends
Click to expand...
Well..........are you ready for the Bible answer????

Now remember this, I am an old fashioned country boy who is so far to the conservative right that he can not be seen, BUT..........

OK...here we go----The Bible simply doesn’t say much specifically about premarital sex. And some of what has been interpreted as applying to premarital sex doesn’t really apply to it.

What the Bible does condemn in no uncertain terms is adultery. However, even though premarital sex is traditionally considered fornication, it is not adultery. Adultery is when one or both of the people engaging in sex with one another is married to someone else.
Strictly speaking, the commandment “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14) does not apply to sex before marriage.

Didn't see that coming did you?????

Does the Bible give a green light to premarital sex, then?

No, it doesn’t.

Let’s be honest. The Bible is full of imperfect people who do imperfect things. The only person who is presented by the Bible as sinless is Jesus Christ. In the Old Testament, laws could be quite harsh against those who broke God’s laws. Adultery, in particular, carried the death penalty --Leviticus 20:10.

What about those who had sex before marriage?

Here, the law was more complicated, and more pragmatic.

If a woman got married, and it was then discovered that she was not a virgin when she got married, her offense was punishable by death----
Deuteronomy 22:13-21. So that would seem to indicate that pre-marital sex was not something to be done.

Yes, this was sexist and unfair. The same rule did not apply to men. But that was an earlier and more brutal age. This law was their way of assuring a man that his children were his own.

By the same token, if a man raped a woman who was pledged to be married, he was subject to the death penalty, while the woman was not to be punished at all ---Deuteronomy 22:25-27.

What if the woman was neither married nor pledged to be married?

In that society, it was assumed that an unmarried woman (who wasn’t a prostitute) would not allow a man to have sex with her, because the consequences for her would be catastrophic. So if an unmarried man did have sex with an unmarried woman, unless there was some proof otherwise, it was considered rape, and the man was to be punished for it—but not by the death penalty.

But consider the pragmatic meaning of that law about sex before marriage. If two people engaged in sex before marriage, they were required to get married in order to preserve the woman’s honor and hold the man responsible for his actions.

Another way of saying this is that in Old Testament times, the laws about sex were aimed primarily at enforcing the sanctity of marriage.

So is sex before marriage forbidden in the Bible?

No, it isn’t.

Is sex before marriage recommended in the Bible?

Not at all.

The Bible simply presents some of the issues and consequences involved in sex without the intent to marry vs. sex within marriage or with the intent to marry.

It’s still your choice.
 
Major said:
Well..........are you ready for the Bible answer????

Now remember this, I am an old fashioned country boy who is so far to the conservative right that he can not be seen, BUT..........

OK...here we go----The Bible simply doesn’t say much specifically about premarital sex. And some of what has been interpreted as applying to premarital sex doesn’t really apply to it.

What the Bible does condemn in no uncertain terms is adultery. However, even though premarital sex is traditionally considered fornication, it is not adultery. Adultery is when one or both of the people engaging in sex with one another is married to someone else.
Strictly speaking, the commandment “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14) does not apply to sex before marriage.

Didn't see that coming did you?????

Does the Bible give a green light to premarital sex, then?

No, it doesn’t.

Let’s be honest. The Bible is full of imperfect people who do imperfect things. The only person who is presented by the Bible as sinless is Jesus Christ. In the Old Testament, laws could be quite harsh against those who broke God’s laws. Adultery, in particular, carried the death penalty --Leviticus 20:10.

What about those who had sex before marriage?

Here, the law was more complicated, and more pragmatic.

If a woman got married, and it was then discovered that she was not a virgin when she got married, her offense was punishable by death----
Deuteronomy 22:13-21. So that would seem to indicate that pre-marital sex was not something to be done.

Yes, this was sexist and unfair. The same rule did not apply to men. But that was an earlier and more brutal age. This law was their way of assuring a man that his children were his own.

By the same token, if a man raped a woman who was pledged to be married, he was subject to the death penalty, while the woman was not to be punished at all ---Deuteronomy 22:25-27.

What if the woman was neither married nor pledged to be married?

In that society, it was assumed that an unmarried woman (who wasn’t a prostitute) would not allow a man to have sex with her, because the consequences for her would be catastrophic. So if an unmarried man did have sex with an unmarried woman, unless there was some proof otherwise, it was considered rape, and the man was to be punished for it—but not by the death penalty.

But consider the pragmatic meaning of that law about sex before marriage. If two people engaged in sex before marriage, they were required to get married in order to preserve the woman’s honor and hold the man responsible for his actions.

Another way of saying this is that in Old Testament times, the laws about sex were aimed primarily at enforcing the sanctity of marriage.

So is sex before marriage forbidden in the Bible?

No, it isn’t.

Is sex before marriage recommended in the Bible?

Not at all.

The Bible simply presents some of the issues and consequences involved in sex without the intent to marry vs. sex within marriage or with the intent to marry.

It’s still your choice.
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@ people having sexual relations not marries is fornicating though!
 
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