Sex before marriage

John. T. said:
I don't think there are any scriptures that say that sex outside of marriage is okay. It's always a sin, even masturbation. This is very hard for a single person to live this way, but it is the right way. There are some incidents in Genesis that almost sound like this, but it's not okay. All those verses are telling us is that sex without marriage happened even way back in beginning, but it doesn't mean it was okay. Ideally sex should only be between a man & woman who are married to each other.
This was easier to follow back when society agreed with this. I shudder at what will happen in the future now that homosexual marriage is legal and being accepted. Things will get even worse now that homosexual couples are being allowed to adopt babies. The problem is I don't have an answer for this problem, I don't even know that there is a solution.

Belindab77, my guess is that these Christians debating this with you are living in sexual sin and they don't want it to be sin so they are denying it. Hopefully they will realize they're wrong before they die.
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Siloam said:
One thing that occurred to me as I thought about this thread over the last little while:

There have been several posts concerning virginity, and I would never counsel against this as it keeps faith with what we know to be God's will, BUT

There has been little talk about chastity. Our faith is not rooted in our own righteousness but in His. Our faith is in redemption by Him, not in our perfection.

There can be many reasons that someone is not virginal at a marriage. Not all of them mean sin. A husband (or wife) who died, wither accidentally, or in was, or in violence can leave the spouse without a mate.


A marriage can fail, and although there are better paths, I will not point fingers at someone that decided that making a permanent break was the best way forward.

But we can all be chaste. Whether never married, or previously married (or with a past choice). Even in marriage, there can (and should be) joyous expressions of love between husband and wife, but presenting a chaste witness to those outside.

It is never too late to live a chaste life.
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This topic reminded me of Jeremiah and Paul, both who remained single.

Jeremiah 16:2, 2 “You shall not take a wife, nor shall you have sons or daughters in this place.

1 Corinthians 7:1-40

I know these passages can lead to an entire discussion of why and what but my thought is this;

Any single man or woman who remain single yet practice chastity or celibacy while walking in obedience to God is someone who I have a very high respect for.

Can we say these Christian individuals are married to the Lord?
 
I haven't figured out how to work this board yet.
So my response here is to Siloam, not to Bob. Siloam said

"There has been little talk about chastity. Our faith is not rooted in our own righteousness but in His. Our faith is in redemption by Him, not in our perfection".
Yeah, OK I agree with this but not to the point of saying we don't need to have any righteousness of our own. I got into quite an argument over this on another board. (which is why I'm now posting here) We are supposed to have as much righteousness as each one of us is able to have. I think this ability grows as we do, at least it should. I know it's different for everyone, but if a person doesn't want to or expect to become more rightous with age, chances are he won't. I met Christians in other places that were taught we don't need any personal righteousness and I shudder to think how they probably live. I was never taught this nonsense, and I thank God for that.
 
John. T. said:
I haven't figured out how to work this board yet.
So my response here is to Siloam, not to Bob. Siloam said

"There has been little talk about chastity. Our faith is not rooted in our own righteousness but in His. Our faith is in redemption by Him, not in our perfection".
Yeah, OK I agree with this but not to the point of saying we don't need to have any righteousness of our own. I got into quite an argument over this on another board. (which is why I'm now posting here) We are supposed to have as much righteousness as each one of us is able to have. I think this ability grows as we do, at least it should. I know it's different for everyone, but if a person doesn't want to or expect to become more rightous with age, chances are he won't. I met Christians in other places that were taught we don't need any personal righteousness and I shudder to think how they probably live. I was never taught this nonsense, and I thank God for that.
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John, I direct your thoughts to:

Matthew 5:6 (NASB) “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

It seems we are to pursue righteousness, knowing that our success is really Him working in us.

I tend to think of these things in terms of my own life, not so much because I am a great example, but as a witness, I am to tell what God has done for me.

In terms of this thread, I remember my younger days when I was first starting to date. This was also before I knew the Lord, but was beginning to have serious thoughts about the meaning of faith (but that is another story)

I had to learn how to control my thoughts (as most young people do), It was hard at first, but with practice I could know when I was letting selfish desires rule my thoughts, and redirect my passions. I could then be with young ladies without pressuring them.

While this started before I accepted Christ, I believe that it was the guidance of the Spirit that enabled me. God, who stands outside of time honored my committing to Him in my future by empowering me to learn the importance of self discipline.

My point is that this is learned by doing. While we may pray Matthew 6:11 Do not lead us into temptation, we must do our part by not straining and running toward whatever tempts us.

That is part of hungering and thirsting for righteousness
 
Via dolarossa said:
Been thinking about this subject.

if there is a adultery in the family then can it become a cause of a curse as in a generational curse?
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You are probably thinking of this verse.

Exo 34:7 Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation. (KJV)

If you notice though God starts out with saying showing mercy to thousands (generations).

Here we see that we don't receive the death penalty for someone else's sin.
Deut 24:16 The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin. (KJV)

Sin can effect several generations, but God doesn't hold us accountable for someone else's sin unless we cause them to stumble. Thankfully God is very merciful and has given us his Holy Spirit. Else all would die in sin.
 
YeshuaFan said:
Yes, but the biblical pattern God Himself established is for only a Man and a Woman to marry and have and raise children!
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yes but as you can see that doesn't always happen.
So how do you treat all the illegitimate children then...as less than? As somehow not human?

It is not a child's fault that they were born into a sinful world.
 
Belindab77 said:
I have discussions with Christians who believe that sex before marriage was fine. I've seen passages about man and wife...but not about,....friends with benefits.
I,do not believe in sex before. Marriage. Can you find some scripture with confirms this?Not about engaged couples...but between friends
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sex before marriage is something as Christians that should be refrained from. how ever if there is a failure its not the unforgiveable sin. i john 1:9 should be followed if it takes place. then refrain till marriage in Hebrews marriage is honorable .... its called repentance

Hebrews 13:4-6

King James Version

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4 Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
 
Lanolin said:
yes but as you can see that doesn't always happen.
So how do you treat all the illegitimate children then...as less than? As somehow not human?

It is not a child's fault that they were born into a sinful world.
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the adults give the account at judgment unless they have repented and gotten it under the Blood. Children born out side of mom and dad not married. has no bearing on the Child
 
Via dolarossa said:
Been thinking about this subject.

if there is a adultery in the family then can it become a cause of a curse as in a generational curse?
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As far as believers go, I don't believe so ...

Galatians 3:13 (KJV) Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree:

Although Jesus became a curse in our stead, as Christians this principle holds true with something like adultery...

Romans 6:15-16 (KJV) What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid. Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?
 
forgiven61 said:
may i ask for scripture to back this up ?
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While you won't find that specific phrase used in the Bible, the Bible repeatedly talks about "sexual immorality" or "sexual sins."

These references to sex are talking about any sexual activity outside of marriage, so if you're having sex (or thinking about having sex) without being married ... God wants you to stop.

Some of the places you can find these verses are Hebrews 13:4 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 1 Thessalonians 4:7 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Colossians 3:5
 
Major said:
While you won't find that specific phrase used in the Bible, the Bible repeatedly talks about "sexual immorality" or "sexual sins."

These references to sex are talking about any sexual activity outside of marriage, so if you're having sex (or thinking about having sex) without being married ... God wants you to stop.

Some of the places you can find these verses are Hebrews 13:4 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 1 Thessalonians 4:7 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Colossians 3:5
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Also,
The King James OT refers many times to the "strange woman", meaning, I suppose a woman other than ones spouse.

example:

Proverbs 5:20-21 (KJV)
20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman,
and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD,
and he pondereth all his goings.

The New American Standard renders this phrase as "adulteress".

Proverbs 5:20-21 (NASB)
20 For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress
And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?
21 For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the LORD,
And He watches all his paths.

These cast the woman as being the outsider, but it works both ways, and also makes no distinction between unmarried persons and married persons straying from their promise.
 
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Siloam said:
Also,
The King James OT refers many times to the "strange woman", meaning, I suppose a woman other than ones spouse.

example:

Proverbs 5:20-21 (KJV)
20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman,
and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD,
and he pondereth all his goings.

The New American Standard renders this phrase as "adulteress".

Proverbs 5:20-21 (NASB)
20 For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress
And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?
21 For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the LORD,
And He watches all his paths.

These cast the woman as being the outsider, but it works both ways, and also makes no distinction between unmarried persons and married persons straying from their promise.
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I think that if you study the CONTEXT of the phrase "Strange Woman" you will see that we can see throughout Scripture that it means she is dangerous.
 
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