Sex, Law, Grace?

[lynn w]

unmarried sex is fornication and a sin ..
so it matters to God, and should to you ..
meaning you need to have "a change of heart on that" (repent) ..
Jesus says you must be born again to enter heaven ..
Paul tells us that means dying to the flesh and becoming alive in the spirit ..

if you want to be a Christian, you aren't just because you say "yeah, I believe God is real" .. Christian means Christ-like aka an adherent of His teachings ..

so cut to the chase ..
tell him no more sex or marry me ..
if having sex is more important to him then being your partner ..
then you have low self esteem to accept that .. and you need to improve your personal relation with God, and assume the self dignity that is His will for us ..
ask yourself this .. am I a good ambassador (representative) for God ???
if you don't want to be, then you chose the wrong religion ..
perhaps universalism is more suited for those who wish to live according to their will instead of God's .. blunt ??? .. it was meant to be ..

praying for you ..

Just wanted to say thanks for the great replies today!! I truly appreciate it.
Reading this post from you I thought I should clarify... I never thought sex out of marriage was ok. I meant it shouldn't make a difference whether we had never been married or had been married but are divorced now. In both instances, sex is not ok.
I guess I'm struggling to understand how he professes to be a Christian but believes sex is ok. I haven't seen him for awhile but he began calling and texting the past couple of days and while he's still pressuring me for sex [I'm still saying no and will continue to] he is telling me how he got drunk with an old highschool buddy and all the while he was listening to Christian music on his car stereo and humming along. I guess more than anything I'd like to understand? I don't get it.
Thanks again!

 

[lynn w]

Lynn............. I am not disrespectful. I have consoled several marriages. The right answer is normally not what the people want to hear. It's called a word in season in scriptures. That means they are in a position to receive. A word out of season means they are not in the place to recive so you just encourage until God gets them in a place to hear.

So......... I am not listening to anything else. You want free or not.

You want to serve God and do what is right. We don't unequally yoke ourselves with anyone, not even friends. This guy you divorced, He was abusive according to what you described and his view on scriptures needs lots of improvement.

If he is so free thinking and deceived about the Word, then you who want to serve God should have nixed this guy out long ago.

Since your divorced now, there is no scripture that promises you guys will ever be back together. Even if they depart we are told we don't know if they will be saved or even serve God. People have a free will.

the problem is the same problem I have had to deal with when there was sex or an EX spouse. There are emotional ties that are hard to break, but should be broken. Since your serving God and want to do right then there are lots better people out there for you as we don't know what this EX will do or even if He will ever serve God.

I gave you scripture, I want you to be free to serve God and believe God has someone awesome for you ahead. You wasted 4 years of your life already waiting for nothing, and you are God's child and should be free.

Be blessed.

Michael, making false assumptions about my intentions followed by bla, bla, bla was disrespectful.

I DO appreciate you saying you want me to be free to serve God and believe God has someone awesome for me. I believe that too. To be honest, I am not too worried about being in another relationship right now. Whatever God has planned is what I want as I know it is the best!
I guess what I've questioned all along before everything got off track is how does someone who professes to be a Christian and says he loves Jesus and used to volunteer at church think it is ok to have sex OUTSIDE of marriage? He will talk about being drunk while Christian music is playing on his car stereo. All because he believes we are not under the law because we are under grace. That was always my biggest question. I was NEVER confused about sex being wrong in our situation. The hyper grace teachings ran through our church and caused some serious damage.

God bless you and be encouraged in Christ today.

 

[RosaVera]

Michael, making false assumptions about my intentions followed by bla, bla, bla was disrespectful.

I DO appreciate you saying you want me to be free to serve God and believe God has someone awesome for me. I believe that too. To be honest, I am not too worried about being in another relationship right now. Whatever God has planned is what I want as I know it is the best!
I guess what I've questioned all along before everything got off track is how does someone who professes to be a Christian and says he loves Jesus and used to volunteer at church think it is ok to have sex OUTSIDE of marriage? He will talk about being drunk while Christian music is playing on his car stereo. All because he believes we are not under the law because we are under grace. That was always my biggest question. I was NEVER confused about sex being wrong in our situation. The hyper grace teachings ran through our church and caused some serious damage.

God bless you and be encouraged in Christ today.

Hi Lynn... if i may interject a few words as a woman... i think that he feels that as long as we are not under the law that he is not subject to what Christ and the Father told us time and again what is in the grace of God and what isn't... many people also take the scripture of John 20: 23 "If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained" and make it an excuse that if they don't feel a sin is a sin then they can do this without any consequences... this is what your ex is doing... no, it is not okay outside of marriage to have sex ... no, it is not okay to get drunk, and just because you are listening to Christian music does not make it okay... and yes, it is difficult especially in today's age where virginity, morality, human values are looked down as weakness and not strengths of character. So when you stick to your guns you will be derided and made fun of because you don't fit in the mold and this is what your ex, who wants to be Christian is doing... maybe he is looking to you to strengthen him to me more Christ-like...

 

[MichaelH]

Michael, making false assumptions about my intentions followed by bla, bla, bla was disrespectful.

I DO appreciate you saying you want me to be free to serve God and believe God has someone awesome for me. I believe that too. To be honest, I am not too worried about being in another relationship right now. Whatever God has planned is what I want as I know it is the best!
I guess what I've questioned all along before everything got off track is how does someone who professes to be a Christian and says he loves Jesus and used to volunteer at church think it is ok to have sex OUTSIDE of marriage? He will talk about being drunk while Christian music is playing on his car stereo. All because he believes we are not under the law because we are under grace. That was always my biggest question. I was NEVER confused about sex being wrong in our situation. The hyper grace teachings ran through our church and caused some serious damage.

God bless you and be encouraged in Christ today.

Thank you Lynn, and good that your not super concerned about getting to know someone else again. The process is hard to start over until we are emotionally ready.

We are under Grace and that grace does extend to us when we go out and do wrong. We don't want to do wrong despite grace though. I use to have the thought i can always repent later and we can but sin will cost something every single time even if we see it right away or not. You just don't sin without a price physically. God deals with us on the light we have, and I suspect that God is patience with your ex since he has been taught wrong. That don't mean though after light is given several times He can continue on and be OK.

This Woke me up to violation your conscience and Light given:
A man in prison I knew taught faith, sang, and preached in prison. God kept his family together and had an assistant Pastor position ready for him in a big Church when he got out of prison.
His wife wrote us and said that he was wanting to catch a few bills up and had decided to do one more drug drop with connections he had before prison. This Brother knew better and His wife wrote saying that it bothered him but he wanted everything caught up. He mentioned that God "understands" and I know it's not the best thing to do but it's just one time.

Something went wrong with the deal and they found him dead in a ally being shot in the back of head.

There is grace, but when we violate our conscience that means we know and have light not to do what we are about to do. This was a good brother and he helped lots of folks. I just did not understand for a long time how God let that happen but now I know after I have revelation on violations of conscience. It's a dangerous thing and any teaching that grace enables sin is also false and dangerous to those that buy into the nonsense.

However those that want to do right in their heart are not mislead, those that are use to violating what they know is right find teachers that teach what they want to hear having their conscience seared.

Our conscience is our protector even if we don't have understanding of scriptures. It will keep us out of dangers. Those that violate even simple things of the Conscience (Like leave the dirty dishes all night for morning going to bed with it on their mind) are in danger. Scripture says to keep our conscience clear at all times, even the little things.

Blessings.