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Tools for forgiving, growing more cheeks?

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May 27, 2018
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Hello everyone,
The HS is really Working with me on forgiving. And this weekend I made a big mistake. I became angry with a non Christian. Her Hobby is insulting and belittle people. And due to years of Practice, she is really good at it. She talks about provocative subjects, then insults and belittles and when she notices I am not reacting in anger or hurt. She changes the subject. After the 12th insult, I lost self-controll. I just didn't have any cheeks left. I became rebellious about this and actually my 6 year old daughter corrected me.
She said: why are you so angry?
Well because she said I know nothing about Swimming, although I have finished 11 FINA (internationall swimmingboard) exames.
She said: Oh well that's NOTHING to be angry about.
So my little girl knows more about Pride and strive than I do.
So for forgiving I have to get rid of all my Pride. Perhaps some of you could give me some advice how to grow more cheeks???
I have confronted her with her evildoings (she is not saved and doesn't want to). She thinks it is her Duty to act like this because she wants to re-educate everybody to her image (= make-up, alcohol, cosmetic surgery, money and that others are bad parents are most important for her ) God bless you all. I am going to Study the Word again on this....
 
Dec 19, 2014
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If you are dealing with a narcissist then its all about them and absolutely nothing to do with you. Nacissists live in a bubble where they think they are gods and want to be worshipped.

So dont get angry at something they cant change. They are the ones who are angry. They are just using you as a mirror and venting their frustration and insecurities Its called projection. Also she will try and dump her shame onto you.

The Bible says just quickly agree with your adversary. So if she says you know nothing about swimming you can say yes not as much as you. She just wants her ego stroked. Or you can turn it around and say, well I only know what I know - nothing compares to what God knows, and He knows everything!

As for pride, perhaps shes a thorn in your flesh to keep you humble, just repent of whatever pride you have and know that its God who exalts the humble and gives you grace.
 

bobinfaith

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Hello Biwi;

If you feel bad about the 12th insult, get in line. You're not alone and did better than most of us. Forgiveness is an ongoing discipline and will take a lifetime for all of us. But you and we will get better at forgiveness, while growing in and for Christ.

Even Peter contradicted what Jesus taught him in Matthew 18:21-22, 21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Then Peter goes and cuts off the ear of Malcus and Jesus had to minister to him again in John 18:10-11, 10 Then Simon Peter, having a sword, drew it and struck the high priest's servant and cut off his right ear. (The servant's name was Malchus.) 11 So Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?”

The scripture is for you and everyone who is in the light and follows Jesus. In other words, Jesus reveals His teaching to us in the gospel. We get it!

Non-believers and especially those who don't want to receive Jesus remain in the darkness. They just don't get it!

This may be hard for you to do, sister, but continue to love her because God loves her. Please forgive and pray for her, then let her be. Remember, God was watching both of you and what matters is He saw your heart.

By the way, 11 FINA is a good feat. That tells us you would know more than most about swimming.

God bless you, Biwi, and your daughter and family.
 

Fish Catcher Jim

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Perhaps some of you could give me some advice how to grow more cheeks???
It's not cheeks that you need but a willing and obedient heart.
Jesus never said try and forgive but simply told us to do it.
Unforgiveness hinders our prayer life and love life and our Faith.

When we walk in the Spirit we are able to walk without offense.
What exactly is offended?
Nothing but the Flesh.

Work on Love, and Forgiveness is always there.
We repent and forgive as many times as it takes until we are no longer affected by it.
It's a Choice,
Blessings
FCJ
 
Dec 19, 2014
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Just to encourage you, Jesus said we need to forgive someone their offences up to 490 times.
Now I dont know about you, but I'm not the best at keeping count. But I do know when I've reached my limit of forgiving someone. Another thing that Jesus said was people could slander and mock him all they wanted, but if they blasphemed/insulted the holy spirit, that was unforgiveable, it couldnt be forgiven, in this life or the next.

God is teaching me too, on whats forgiveable and whats downright abuse. Whenver he faced Satan, Jesus always told him to get lost, or 'get behind me' and he always cast out demons. He would not tolerate them and the demons knew that Jesus had power and authority over them. Part of exercising our faith is knowing this. Dont be afraid. Greater is He that is living in you than the enemy living in the world.

Think about this - we have the gift of eternal life, those that dont have the spirit, can only look forward to the second death and judgement. There is going to be separation between good and evil, dark and light. GOd knows and has the wisdom for us to tell the difference. Ask for spiritual discernment when you are faced with this.
 

aha

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Tools for forgiving?
..
Tools for Forgiving? The are a lot of Christian values or tools to mention to help oneself to forgive.


But one tool I found effective like a Swiss Army knife (ie: it contains a lot of other tools that exemplifies other Christian values): Pray for her.


Every night, before you sleep, always include her in your prayer, in things she needs in this earthly life and most importantly that she found comfort, confidence and salvation in Jesus Christ.

Pray for her, it works both ways: for her and you will be surprised how it will work for you as well how you handle her.

It works for me, and it always give me a good night sleep.
 
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CoffeeDrinker

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Hello Biwi;

If you feel bad about the 12th insult, get in line. You're not alone and did better than most of us. Forgiveness is an ongoing discipline and will take a lifetime for all of us. But you and we will get better at forgiveness, while growing in and for Christ.

Even Peter contradicted what Jesus taught him in Matthew 18:21-22, 21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Then Peter goes and cuts off the ear of Malcus and Jesus had to minister to him again in John 18:10-11, 10 Then Simon Peter, having a sword, drew it and struck the high priest's servant and cut off his right ear. (The servant's name was Malchus.) 11 So Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?”

The scripture is for you and everyone who is in the light and follows Jesus. In other words, Jesus reveals His teaching to us in the gospel. We get it!

Non-believers and especially those who don't want to receive Jesus remain in the darkness. They just don't get it!

This may be hard for you to do, sister, but continue to love her because God loves her. Please forgive and pray for her, then let her be. Remember, God was watching both of you and what matters is He saw your heart.

By the way, 11 FINA is a good feat. That tells us you would know more than most about swimming.

God bless you, Biwi, and your daughter and family.
Such a good reminder. Thank you. I need to print this and hang it in my office.
 
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CoffeeDrinker

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Tools for Forgiving? The are a lot of Christian values or tools to mention to help oneself to forgive.


But one tool I found effective like a Swiss Army knife (ie: it contains a lot of other tools that exemplifies other Christian values): Pray for her.


Every night, before you sleep, always include her in your prayer, in things she needs in this earthly life and most importantly that she found comfort, confidence and salvation in Jesus Christ.

Pray for her, it works both ways: for her and you will be surprised how it will work for you as well how you handle her.

It works for me, and it always give me a good night sleep.
I agree and love this comment. When I pray for those I don't like or are nasty towards me, I always feel secure and comforted.
You know some of my best friends started out on my wrong side, I just did not like them. As i prayed and listened to the HS they are now dear friends of mine. One is now as close as a sister... i kid you not. The other is a blessed good friend of mine, too. It's amazing how the enemy does not want us to build relationships......
 

Fish Catcher Jim

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It's quite simple Really.
God said Forgive.
So we choose to obey or not.
Believe me, I know what I am talking about.
God never said when it's easy or convenient but He Said Forgive.
God never said only after they make you feel better.
Nope He Said To FORGIVE.

It all boils down to a choice.
We choose to obey or make excuses.
Blessings
 
Dec 19, 2014
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When Jesus was on the cross, he said to His Father to 'forgive them for they know not what they do'. Who was he asking Father to forgive? The romans did not really know they were crucifying the Messiah, the son of God and the people that beat and flogged him 39 times were just paid to do it. They werent really aware, just knew that the court had condemned this man as a criminal and thus had to carry out orders.

For those who DID know what they are doing, which was evil, Jesus said their was no forgivness not in this life or the next. So how does this apply. The pharisees, many of them, Jesus was in conflict with. But what about Paul, who was consenting in stoning Stephen, the first martyr? JEsus actually forgave Paul. And Paul admitted he did things out of ignorance. He was just following orders of the religion.

So who was the unforgiven one in Jesus eyes. There was only one who betrayed him and it was not Paul, who persecuted him, or Peter, who denied him. He forgave them both.

Jesus meant Judas who had set out to destroy him. Satan had entered into Judas heart.

If the holy spirit is asking you to work on forgiveness, then God knows the person he wants you to forgive is forgiveable! Whatever this person has said to you, she was acting out or saying out of ignorance. And thats forgiveable! Did she know you were a champion swimmer? Most probably not. So its nothing to get worked up over. If she had said you know nothing about swimming and she KNEW you had won a championship, you can just call her a liar. Lol.
 
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Sep 3, 2009
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Hello Biwi;

If you feel bad about the 12th insult, get in line. You're not alone and did better than most of us. Forgiveness is an ongoing discipline and will take a lifetime for all of us. But you and we will get better at forgiveness, while growing in and for Christ.

Even Peter contradicted what Jesus taught him in Matthew 18:21-22, 21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Then Peter goes and cuts off the ear of Malcus and Jesus had to minister to him again in John 18:10-11, 10 Then Simon Peter, having a sword, drew it and struck the high priest's servant and cut off his right ear. (The servant's name was Malchus.) 11 So Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?”

The scripture is for you and everyone who is in the light and follows Jesus. In other words, Jesus reveals His teaching to us in the gospel. We get it!

Non-believers and especially those who don't want to receive Jesus remain in the darkness. They just don't get it!

This may be hard for you to do, sister, but continue to love her because God loves her. Please forgive and pray for her, then let her be. Remember, God was watching both of you and what matters is He saw your heart.

By the way, 11 FINA is a good feat. That tells us you would know more than most about swimming.

God bless you, Biwi, and your daughter and family.
Good advice and I agree. Personally, I think that Peter was trying to cut the head off of Malcus and not his ear. Peter was a fisherman, not a swordsman.
 
Sep 3, 2009
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I agree and love this comment. When I pray for those I don't like or are nasty towards me, I always feel secure and comforted.
You know some of my best friends started out on my wrong side, I just did not like them. As i prayed and listened to the HS they are now dear friends of mine. One is now as close as a sister... i kid you not. The other is a blessed good friend of mine, too. It's amazing how the enemy does not want us to build relationships......
Correct. Math 101 says that God multiplies and the devil divides.
 
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Cturtle

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Closing thread to give the OP time to catch up. When she returns she may contact a staff member to have the thread opened if she so desires.
 
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