Treating Others The Way You Want To Be Treated

shineyourlight8

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"God, I hate this! I treat them with respect and they treat me so wrong. Doesn't Your Word tell us, 'Treat others the way you want to be treated?' I treat them respectfully and treat them disrespectfully. I don't understand."

Has this ever happened to you? I love how we play the God-card to God. "God, doesn't Your Word tell us...?" Yes, God does know what the Word says. He wrote it! I know that I have asked that in the past! I might have even said the same exact words, until God stopped me at one point.

"Sure, the Bible tells you to do that. But, what's in your heart? You treat them with respect, but your heart is so angry against this person, your heart is so far away from the respect that you're showing them. If your heart is full of anger against a person, but yet treat them with respect, isn't it a lie? You're not honestly treating them the way you want to be treated, because your heart towards them is full of anger. You're not being true, you're not being authentic. So yes, treat others the way you want to be treated. But because of the anger in your heart, you're treating them with anger, with disrespect. It doesn't matter what you do outwardly, but what lies within your heart. Your actions reflects your heart. So this is why these specific people are treating you with disrespect, because you're doing it subconsciously."

I stood in awe. What God said was so right, because the people that treated me wrong, I had anger towards them.

I then stood and asked for forgiveness for the way I was acting. And I still struggle with this. It's hard to look at people with love who treat you wrong. But it's time to forgive. I've been in the process of forgiving them, and my heart is slowly changing from the anger into love. It feels wonderful!

So, this is what I say to you: Examine your heart. How is your heart treating this individual? If it's anything apart from love, then pray to God for a heart transplant, that he revolutionizes your heart and he leads it to repentance. God doesn't want us to live in anger or in bitterness, but in love and grace.
 
I am going through this right now. I have a friend that I'm very upset with and that I'm having a hard time forgiving. Therefore, I am simply not speaking to her. If we text, it is short. She knows I am upset; she isn't aware of what she has done or she doesn't want to take responsibility. IMO.

I was thinking about the exact thing you're talking about the other day. How do you forgive when you can't forgive in your heart...even when you ask God? Does it make us a bad person? Is forgiveness talking to and being nice to them? From your OP the answer is No and I agree. Is it forgiving, but distancing yourself from that person? I think it's forgiving in your heart, but how many of us have truly done that? I'm afraid God sees in my heart that I haven't truly forgiven. How do I do that when my heart doesn't allow me?
 
I know it sounds like I am kidding when I say this, but I am not: fake it.

And I say this because if you keep telling yourself to forgive it will eventually take over the 'I am so mad' attitude towards the person / situation at hand. You will feel conviction of the spirit to turn the 'fake' into faith. That's when the humility starts to creep in and your brain starts to think-is this situation really worth me being angry, upset, unforgiving over?

The Spirit won't let you 'fake it' too long, and once your heart is straight-so will the issue with the opposing party.
 
I know it sounds like I am kidding when I say this, but I am not: fake it.

And I say this because if you keep telling yourself to forgive it will eventually take over the 'I am so mad' attitude towards the person / situation at hand. You will feel conviction of the spirit to turn the 'fake' into faith. That's when the humility starts to creep in and your brain starts to think-is this situation really worth me being angry, upset, unforgiving over?

The Spirit won't let you 'fake it' too long, and once your heart is straight-so will the issue with the opposing party.

That's what I've been thinking lately too. However, I've also decided to no longer have her in my life. At least at this point. I'm too upset and don't feel I can trust her. In that situation, isn't it best to just walk away?
 
That's what I've been thinking lately too. However, I've also decided to no longer have her in my life. At least at this point. I'm too upset and don't feel I can trust her. In that situation, isn't it best to just walk away?

Well Tink- from getting to know your heart the last few weeks I believe you are at a critical point in your faith. I think you are really starting to 'see' that there is a significant difference in the Lost versus the Saved. I think you are seeing the truth in people-even though they 'say' they are saved-are their life fruits proving the words of their mouth. And in turn this is going to make you take steps in your faith to follow Christ or stop in your tracks. I hope you continue to follow-but the road only gets harder....

Does that mean you might have to disassociate with some friends-probably-even family (but you have a small family as it is).

The good news Sister-you have met some of your new Brothers and Sisters here online-I'll see you when we get to Dad's house! :)
 
Dirty, you are completely and utterly correct! My mother has been concerned and inquiring as to why I am no longer going out as I used to. I have tried time and time again explaining to her that my heart no longer yearns for the friends I have. At first, I took it personally when I left FB for a while because I stopped hearing from some of them. Then as time went on, without the social media, bar life, etc., I realized these people aren't truly friends. Some of them, yes, but many are not. To add insult to injury, they are unbelievers, and although I never cared about that before, I suddenly do. It deeply saddens me, but at the same time I know that God has better relationships for me stored in the future. I'm counting on meeting me husband some day who is a wonderful and a God fearing man.

Thank you so much again for your beautiful insight and kind words~
 
Now I just want to mention "the road gets harder" comment because I am beginning to feel this way, definitely. Could you elaborate a bit more on that? Is it just the friends and family part that you brought up? I am hoping God will save my brother one day.
 
Now I just want to mention "the road gets harder" comment because I am beginning to feel this way, definitely. Could you elaborate a bit more on that? Is it just the friends and family part that you brought up? I am hoping God will save my brother one day.

Does Jesus ever promise us a happy life on Earth living on His behalf?

It is quite the contrary-this is why I have such an issue with 'rapture' doctrines.
 
I spent many years trying 'not to care' for people-because I don't like the hurt that happens upon rejection. Multiply that by infinity and maybe we can begin to understand how Jesus "feels"....
 
I have found that purposely (even though not face to face necessarily) doing good to those that abuse you works wonders.
Doing good only when you feel like it is not better than non-believers reactions.

Tis true.... 'heap flaming coals on their head' Proverbs 25

Had to do that today as a matter of fact....
 
My take on things like this: forgive and forget. I myself do that in a very short amount of time. Also, do not hold grudges, because as time goes on, your hate of that person will I crease. Speaking of hate, do not do that either. Throughout most if not all of my life up to this point, I have not hated another person even when they wrong me. I also say respect other's beliefs (I.e religion and politics). Wouldn't you like your beliefs respected? I would guess yes. This also goes towards trying to overly convert someone to our faith. If they don't want to be Christians, don't ask them over and over again, don't spew Bible verses out at them (since when is anybody really impressed that you know a couple of words from a boo), and actually practice the faith (being more like Christ). Lastly, no judging (or at least, negative judgement).

P.S. this is basically my introduction to who I am post. Have a great day!
 
My take on things like this: forgive and forget. I myself do that in a very short amount of time. Also, do not hold grudges, because as time goes on, your hate of that person will I crease. Speaking of hate, do not do that either. Throughout most if not all of my life up to this point, I have not hated another person even when they wrong me. I also say respect other's beliefs (I.e religion and politics). Wouldn't you like your beliefs respected? I would guess yes. This also goes towards trying to overly convert someone to our faith. If they don't want to be Christians, don't ask them over and over again, don't spew Bible verses out at them (since when is anybody really impressed that you know a couple of words from a boo), and actually practice the faith (being more like Christ). Lastly, no judging (or at least, negative judgement).

P.S. this is basically my introduction to who I am post. Have a great day!
That is a GREAT introduction! Welcome to the forums!
 
Preach! And it's kind of hard to hold bitterness and anger towards those who you pray for ;)

If it works for you i can't disagree, but it failed big time for me. :giggle:

Few years back now ive had resentment towards my sister who i found out is now looking to the stars and mediums for guidance. She showed up at home one day we got talking about her beliefs i know what shes like she has a tempter on her that would make the devil run back to the pits of hell once she starts, anyway i said to her why follow the star signs as a guide in your life when all you need to do is ask the very one that made them. God! And what good is a psychic going to do for you, look at our aunty she was a big believer in them and what happened to her? Let Jesus be your psychic.

Well she flew of the handle cursing and spitting taks i knew this aint going to work to well so told her to leave and never ever come to my home again i never want to see her face again and that was that. Guilt set in later on. Maybe i shouldn't of said anything, but i dislike psyhics and star signs to the bone. No i never preached to her quotes from the bible either wouldn't of mattered anyway to her as she has a mindset of her own once she belives in something thats it. So i started adding her to my prayers asking God to fogive her for her beliefs and give her your blessing. Later on we started txting each other the tumor diagnose might of helped with that or maybe the prayers did work. But we get on now (just) although she is right into that Alternative medicine and keeps txting me to try them, um no thanks i hav more faith in modern medicine did not your husband survived only because of Chemo treatment? thanks for the suggestion but i hink its better to stick with that. (he was dianosed with throat cancer 20 odd yrs ago chemo saved him.) And most importantly no flying of the handle from her:giggle:

I love my sister though and am sadened how she has chosen that path. She is now a self proclaimed Healer ( so dabbles in witchcraft!:eek: ) So all i can do is keep adding her to my prayers. Was thinking of sendin her a Bible for last christmas but that might not go down to well. The resentment towards her has faded, now its more just Pity for her.
 
My take on things like this: forgive and forget. I myself do that in a very short amount of time. Also, do not hold grudges, because as time goes on, your hate of that person will I crease. Speaking of hate, do not do that either. Throughout most if not all of my life up to this point, I have not hated another person even when they wrong me. I also say respect other's beliefs (I.e religion and politics). Wouldn't you like your beliefs respected? I would guess yes. This also goes towards trying to overly convert someone to our faith. If they don't want to be Christians, don't ask them over and over again, don't spew Bible verses out at them (since when is anybody really impressed that you know a couple of words from a boo), and actually practice the faith (being more like Christ). Lastly, no judging (or at least, negative judgement).

P.S. this is basically my introduction to who I am post. Have a great day!


Welcome! How do you do that (forget) and forgive when that person betrayed you and they seem to have no care or concern in the world. I have a Facebook friend that I really want to deactivate because it bothers me immensely that she is now buddy buddy (more so than myself) to the friends I introduced her to right when she got back from Hawaii after after been away for five years. September is when I started introducing her to my girlfriends and it just really bothers me to see their posts. Should I keep her on when the anger is there every time I see it and think that she is so fake and not a true woman of Christ! or should I keep her on trying to forgive. Sorry, but betrayal is one thing I cannot stand for anything. Once someone (especially someone trusted) does that, it's so hard to forgive them IF they don't apologize. She doesn't take responsibility. Sorry for venting, Not sure what to do in this case. I'm angry and hurt when I should be grateful and feel blessed that I'm even alive.
 
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