Hello there. I'm a newbie too. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a tough spot right now. Something that helps me is remembering the poem Footprints where the man asks about the single line of footprints in the sand where his life was most troubled and Jesus said "... it was then that I carried you." Remember, whatever bad happens in your life, or whatever sins you commit, God will always love you and His faith in you will last forever. I hope this helps.
thank you for your comforting words... i have surrendered my my whole situation to the Lord and I hope He will me through it