Dating The Christian Way And Spritual Leadership

Do you believe Spiritual Leadership begins before marriage; during courtship?

  • Total voters
    10
My apologies Tink,

The point of the 'laughter' was not directed at your question. Let me rephrase: Men and women are different-I think we can agree on that. We don't think alike. If you read my response, you will see that women have more controlled influence when it comes to sexuality than men do....that is the point....read Judges 13-16 about Samson & Delilah and you might see my point. My apologies for not making that clear. Men are the weaker vessel when it comes to sex in martial relationships in my opinion.(In any relationship actually; look around-it should be pretty obvious) Guys will do ANYTHING they can to get what they desire....uh hem....

Does that clarify my post for you?
 
Dirtyrottensinner said:
No I am rebuking; "Stop sinning" Jesus Christ

Your argument is with the Lord not me.
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You did rebuke me.
re·buke

/riˈbyo͞ok/
Verb
Express sharp disapproval or criticism of (someone) because of their behavior or actions.

Noun
An expression of sharp disapproval or criticism.

Synonyms
verb. reprove - reprimand - reprehend - scold - upbraid - chide
noun.
reprimand - reproof - reproach - reprehension


I did not have sex with anyone. I made out with a guy I've been talking to for 2 months. Tell my ex assistant manager how much of a sinner she was when her and her now husband did the same thing, but they didn't have sex until they both got married.

I hope you're not this harsh on your daughter. My mother would get onto me about every little thing. Take for example my ED. I could have a good day, where I caved maybe once and she would sit there and focus on that one event only and nit pick. I'm really sorry, but I don't think our Lord nit picks nearly as much as you would think. Sure, we don't want to continually willfully sin, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm happy I was able to be alone with someone and resist having sex. This guy and I made a pact not to and we stuck to it and yes, whilst being alone. Though it is recommended to avoid temptation, there's no where in the bible that I can see where it says a man and woman should not be alone because it is a sin.
 
I absolutely will be this harsh because that is my job as a Father as commanded by God. You and your ex boss are not my responsibility. My daughter is. YOU will stand before the Lord for YOUR sins-I will not stand for your sins-unless I cause you to sin- THEN the Lord will rebuke ME....I REFUSE to collect more sin your behalf when what I am trying to do is help you and YOU are rejecting God's Word-That's your problem not mine.

Again your argument is with the Lord. You just proved your selfishness. Repent, Jesus still loves you.
 
Dirtyrottensinner said:
My apologies Tink,

The point of the 'laughter' was not directed at your question. Let me rephrase: Men and women are different-I think we can agree on that. We don't think alike. If you read my response, you will see that women have more controlled influence when it comes to sexuality than men do....that is the point....read Judges 13-16 about Samson & Delilah and you might see my point. My apologies for not making that clear. Men are the weaker vessel when it comes to sex in martial relationships in my opinion.(In any relationship actually; look around-it should be pretty obvious) Guys will do ANYTHING they can to get what they desire....uh hem....

Does that clarify my post for you?
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OK for a second I thought we got somewhere with this post until you posted the above. Dirty, don't be mad and stop yelling. You get more bees with honey! I need honey to be swayed not vinegar. Vinegar makes me not listen and I like listening to you when you're less judgmental (my opinion of how you're responding-not saying you are being this way).

I'm not angry, but you are taking my hurt and twisting it into defensiveness and selfishness (selfishness???!!!). Can't someone be hurt simply by the tone of ones response? Why suddenly, does it become an act of desiring to hear what one wants to?? Lastly, why are you only answering one of the questions? Like I said, if you took my post seriously, I feel you would have taken the time to answer the rest. I'm not upset, just surprised at your response. I hope you understand.
 
KingJ said:
When you find a God fearing person (needle in a haystack) there is a very very good chance that God is behind it, hang around / be committed from the start.
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I like this. You say "needle in haystack"...are you referring to the man/woman being a "true christian"? I am seeing that it's a lot harder to find.
 
Yes- I 'rebuked' you should have been a comma after 'No'. Judgment is reserved for the Lord. Maybe you need a good rebuking?

I think you think you repented...maybe you have...that's betwixt you and the Lord. I cannot compromise God's Word to accommodate an answer you want to hear. Do a study on premarital purity if you want to learn.

And I believe I answered 3 of your questions-I didn't want to hog up the whole thread.
 
Dirtyrottensinner said:
Yes- I 'rebuked' you should have been a comma after 'No'. Judgment is reserved for the Lord. Maybe you need a good rebuking?

I think you think you repented...maybe you have...that's betwixt you and the Lord. I cannot compromise God's Word to accommodate an answer you want to hear. Do a study on premarital purity if you want to learn.

And I believe I answered 3 of your questions-I didn't want to hog up the whole thread.
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I like when you respond, which is why I "follow" you. It has nothing to do with "hogging" the thread.

I did repent...the guy and I both did, from what he told me. He hasn't had sex in years. I am waiting until marriage. I know not to put myself in that situation again. I am seeking the truth from fellow believers in order to abstain from that particular situation as well. Of course, reading the word is vital, but see that I am seeking advice from fellow Christians instead of trying to do this on my own...my efforts are there, whether seen or not.
 
Sorry, just a lot going on...not your fault.

But at the same time YOU need to pick up your faith and own it. I can't do that for you. Christ will show you ways to build/ 'work out' (like a muscle) your faith-but you have to trust His ways are righteous, not your own thinking. You HAVE TOO get into the Bible like it's the only life preserver floating around a sinking ship to garner God's wisdom.

Quite frankly, until you understand an area of your life Biblically, you should put the brakes on any decisions you make in that area until you do understand. This is why it is VITAL for parents to train their children the Godly way from the get go in hopes they don't foul up their entire earthly AND heavenly existence. The truth is, the older you are at salvation-the more of a disadvantage you have which proportionality follows the amount of sin baggage you have.

And we need to stand on the foundation of the Word-the Gospel-Jesus Christ unwavering, we all need a good rebuking now and again. The mess we are in now is because there are very few whom actually stand on the rock-and plenty of others trying to push them off.

Will YOU truly stand on His Word?
 
Oh and as on FYI: If an unmarried, uncommitted man will fly half way across the country to make out with you, what do you think he will do in his own back yard? As someone who has traveled tens of thousands of miles around this earth in the military and as a government contractor, I can tell you for a fact how easy it is to fall into temptation with 'harlots'. Just saying.....

Either "commit" or get of the pot....If you two are that serious-then somebody needs to make a move and produce a couple of wedding bands. It's that simple. If you are too shy to make your voice heard in the relationship, I would say you are no where near ready for marriage. Get couples counseling at your church in some form. If they don't have it, find somewhere that does. Following Christ means you have to get out of your comfort zone.

You need to read about what happens when we share our bodies (in any way in my opinion) with another-we are 'cleaved' to them-married or not. The only 'cleaving' that is supposed to be happening is between husband and wife.

If he won't commit, drop the the whole thing. In my opinion you should be seeking Christ right now NOT MEN. You are not ready.
 
Dirtyrottensinner said:
If he won't commit, drop the the whole thing. In my opinion you should be seeking Christ right now NOT MEN. You are not ready.
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Do do I bring up this "commitment" question if he hasn't?

I will continue to seek the Lord, but at this point I am emotionally involved and I can't help but think the Lord put him in my life for a reason.
 
Dirtyrottensinner said:
Sorry, just a lot going on...not your fault.

But at the same time YOU need to pick up your faith and own it. I can't do that for you. Christ will show you ways to build/ 'work out' (like a muscle) your faith-but you have to trust His ways are righteous, not your own thinking. You HAVE TOO get into the Bible like it's the only life preserver floating around a sinking ship to garner God's wisdom.

Quite frankly, until you understand an area of your life Biblically, you should put the brakes on any decisions you make in that area until you do understand. This is why it is VITAL for parents to train their children the Godly way from the get go in hopes they don't foul up their entire earthly AND heavenly existence. The truth is, the older you are at salvation-the more of a disadvantage you have which proportionality follows the amount of sin baggage you have.

And we need to stand on the foundation of the Word-the Gospel-Jesus Christ unwavering, we all need a good rebuking now and again. The mess we are in now is because there are very few whom actually stand on the rock-and plenty of others trying to push them off.

Will YOU truly stand on His Word?
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All good points here.
 
Dear Tink,
I just wanted to assure you that a marriage between two people of different churches can be very much blessed by God. The two can learn from each other, and there is always a subject to talk about.
That refers to point 5 of your questions.

I have been married when I was still catholic, and my husband was Lutheran. Yes, there have been different opinions (Eucharist, etc.), but that was rather nice for discussion, not hindering our marriage.
We were very much in love. He was a wonderful husband.

Love, little flower
 
Let me start by saying this is written in the love of Christ for my sister in Christ, I'm not judging, only trying to help,

I think the majority of your questions are answered by Paul in 1 Cor 7, so may I suggest you prayerfully read that chapter before the Lord and let the Word speak to you directly, that way you will know the answer is from the Lord.

Consider this, you should marry your best friend, there should be hours of communication between you two about what each one wants for their lives, where you you live, who will work, children, how many and how soon, ministry and multitudes of other questions, as the relation passes through the different stages then, after you have see the other persons faults (have you two had your first fight yet or how about the 20th, this is very important), you need to start asking yourself the question, if my mate became bedridden for the rest of his life, is my love strong enough to love him for the rest of his life, taking care of him, without receiving any love in return?

As it has already been stated, God made Eve for Adam, God has your Adam somewhere preparing him and in His time He will bring you two together, I know you don't want to wait, I didn't either, but to marry a man that is not your Adam is accepting second best or possibly worst. Then when you two do meet, ask the Lord for conformation from His
Word, make sure it's the correct man, because it's a vow to God for life and the pain from breaking your vow and hurting Jesus is a lot worse than any pain that comes from a broken relationship.

Gene
 
Tink, please forgive me for hijacking your thread, but there needs to be some correction spoken in the love of Christ.

1. Our Lord would not break a bruised reed or quench a smoldering wick, he was the epitome of kindness and gentleness, take the woman at the well, He didn't say to her after she believed in Him, now you can't go back home to the man you're shacking up with, no, a women of her reputation, in the Jewish culture of that time, if He had said that then there would be nothing left for her except to become a prostitute, my/our Jesus would never force that on her, I know from my personal experience and what I have seen in others, the Holy spirit will talk to the offenders, we are called to love people, when we see a brother or sister going astray don't you think it would be better to pray for that person, holding them up before the Throne of Grace and let God correct His children?

2. In a marriage, the husband or the wife does not control the sex in the marriage, loves does, if the sexual desire is stronger in one than the other, then the weaker, dies to their will and serves the other in the Agape love given to them at the wedding ceremony. I'm sure you all know this, but let's take a look at it again, in a Christian marriage the two come together in Eros love and Phileo love, the wedding present from the Lord is His Agape love and sexual pleasure, so if the sexual desires aren't the same then one partner will say, "I love the other so much I'll be subject to the will of the other." If sex is approached in this manner I certain both parties will be satisfied, and you might be surprised at how much time will be spent in the bedroom.

Gene
 
Lifeasweknowit said:
Do do I bring up this "commitment" question if he hasn't?

I will continue to seek the Lord, but at this point I am emotionally involved and I can't help but think the Lord put him in my life for a reason.
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Okay let me rephrase the solution: his (your potential mate) conversation and viewpoint are only exactly 1/2 of the answer; you provide the other 1/2 half. Your silence in waiting will not get you anywhere-only create a stalemate or a situation you don't want to be in.

Remember when I said you need to set a precedent for how your relationships start? That includes your primary relationship with Christ and your secondary relationship with your potential mate. If you set the precedent of being a complacent doormat- you will be miserable. If you set the precedent of being a contentious woman- he will be miserable. You both need to go to Christ as your mediator and 'work out' your future faith, standards and relationship together. If you are both truly walking towards Christ-you will both eventually meet on the same path.

If he isn't walking in the same direction-don't follow him. It is up to you to find out BEFORE you end up back in a situation you repented from....

Do you two read the Bible together? If not-probably the biggest mistake you are making right now....

Get your mind of the physical aspect and focus on the spiritual; and if you two get married-the physical will be so much BETTER than you have ever known.....


YES! Initiate commitment talk and apply God's standard to your relationship. NOT what you think is 'okay' to do....
 
My husband and I did not actually read the bible together before we married. But we made long walks and talked about everything which came to our mind. And from his statements I could conclude that he was a righteous man and that he tried to follow Jesus.

I think that if the two persons who fall in love with each other are not by chance from the same church, they are maybe not used to read and discuss the bible together. But when they found out that their thinking is in harmony, they can learn to worship and study God's Word during the marriage.

That is how we did it. And we were both blessed with happiness.
 
All leaders need good counselors, advisers and friends. A Christian Husband should seek wisdom from Christ AND his wife in all family matters with a Pastor and Christian Brothers and Sisters as a secondary go to panel.

Make sense?
 
Dirtyrottensinner said:
Okay let me rephrase the solution: his (your potential mate) conversation and viewpoint are only exactly 1/2 of the answer; you provide the other 1/2 half. Your silence in waiting will not get you anywhere-only create a stalemate or a situation you don't want to be in.

Remember when I said you need to set a precedent for how your relationships start? That includes your primary relationship with Christ and your secondary relationship with your potential mate. If you set the precedent of being a complacent doormat- you will be miserable. If you set the precedent of being a contentious woman- he will be miserable. You both need to go to Christ as your mediator and 'work out' your future faith, standards and relationship together. If you are both truly walking towards Christ-you will both eventually meet on the same path.

If he isn't walking in the same direction-don't follow him. It is up to you to find out BEFORE you end up back in a situation you repented from....

Do you two read the Bible together? If not-probably the biggest mistake you are making right now....

Get your mind of the physical aspect and focus on the spiritual; and if you two get married-the physical will be so much BETTER than you have ever known.....


YES! Initiate commitment talk and apply God's standard to your relationship. NOT what you think is 'okay' to do....
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We live in different states. Not sure if that helps gice me more clarity on what I should do. I'm really torn. the physical was only an issue for a day when he came and visited. It won't be an issue otherwise. We can't read the Bible together because we don't live in the same vicinity. I send him devotionals every day.
 
Lifeasweknowit said:
We live in different states. Not sure if that helps gice me more clarity on what I should do. I'm really torn. the physical was only an issue for a day when he came and visited. It won't be an issue otherwise. We can't read the Bible together because we don't live in the same vicinity. I send him devotionals every day.
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Got a phone? Skype? E-mail? Getting into the Word doesn't have to be a daunting ritualistic arduous task. Even if you read 1 verse a day together via the phone-that's at least better than doing nothing....

Have a debate (like on this forum) about scriptures pertaining to your situation via email. He consults his Pastor-you consult yours. If neither one of you has a Pastor -get one!

God's process doesn't change- we have to change our lives-our routines to conform to the Word. The Word doesn't conform to us. Worship, read, meditate, pray , fast, & ....here it comes Tink ...........>>>>>>>>!!!!FELLOWSHIP!!!! in the body of Christ! And repeat. It takes effort AKA: work to be in any relationship. If you (or he) are lazy in your relationship with Christ-what are your other relationships going to look like?

'Sin is pleasurable for a season'; 'put away the childish things' and 'grow' (mature) in Christ.
 
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