Forgiveness - mercy and grace

I have been reading about forgiveness lately. A lot of people are confused about what forgiveness means. When you forgive someone does that mean you are always completely reconciled with them? What if they are unrepentant? For example, if someone beats you up, you would forgive them if they were genuinely convicted and sorry, asking your forgivness and assuring you they wont do it again. But would that mean you necessarily be friends with them?

Is forgiveness letting go of records of wrongs, not holding a grudge, but would it be wise to engage with someone who continues to be harmful and abusive.
If so, how is that forgiveness?

So this is where I believe mercy and grace come in. Mercy and grace are similar, but there is a difference. They are two kinds of forgiveness.

Grace involves a change of heart. Grace is what Jesus gives us, for its His presence that works in our lives. Grace never gives a licence to sin, it gives us time to make it right.
Mercy I believe, is when God spares us the consequences of our actions, but it does not necessarily mean reconciliation. Mercy is what Our Father gives us, it can get us to a point where grace can begin, it can let go of whatever we or others did wrong, but we cant live in mercy all the time. Mercy allows us to move on, perhaps, wheras grace enables us to stay there.

What are your thoughts on mercy, grace, and forgiveness? What does scripture say?
 
Forgiveness is a decision that ones thoughts and actions concerning another will not be defined by the harm believed inflicted on one or someone/something cared about.

This does not mean that one will continually allow the hurt to be reinflicted.

Mercy is Forgiveness by one in authority that could have exacted a penalty but exercised his (or His) authority by not requiring that penalty.

Grace is (partly) the concentration on the better/higher qualities and choosing not to take notice of failures of others.
 
My oxford english dictionary definition of forgiveness says 1. Stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offence or mistake.
2. No longer feel angry about or wish to punish an offence or mistake

So it seems letting go of anger is a big component of forgiveness. I do wonder why it is that some people just seem to be angry all the time. They just let every little thing get to them. For example, when people are driving and some drivers make mistakes, dont indicate, speed, go too slow or whatever. Or maybe they take a parking space before you. Is it worth getting worked up about it all? This not to say turn a blind eye, but what are you going to do about it? Swearing at them isnt going to do anything.
 
Some seem to have neen taught to go thru life looking at everything as a challenge that needs to be fought in every way possible. They seem to think that no other view is as right as their own and will argue whatever matter endlessly.

Others are grudge holders. I have seen this in relations between extended family members. Someone will take offense at some small thing and not let go. This can sour otherwise close relationships even when no offense was intended. In some cases family members that have no part in the original dispute will start taking sides, and taking offense in support of one side or the other.

Family, and friends are too precious to let these things tear us apart.
 
Ive noticed that many "go through life as a challenge' people want others to 'fight back' as if fighting back solves things. This may happen because the person, usually older, wants a reaction. If you dont 'fight back' when teased or answer back, they see you as useless. Its like they are actually looking for an argument, and baiting you.

The Pharisees tried to do that with Jesus.

Another thing is we ALL offend others in many ways. But most of this is unintentional, which also means its forgiveable. Its when its deliberately hurtful, like when someone insults someone, that there might be cause to take offence. And also, might be wise to avoid this person.
 
Hey Lanolin, as usual you've raised an interesting topic. One which is quite close to my heart at the moment.

On a daily basis, I'm very much a 'forgive and forget' type of person. After all, if my many sins have been forgiven, who am I to hold a grudge and judge other people.

However lol, there's always a 'however', my ex-husband keeps popping up. I struggled for many years with forgiving him, and finally I felt able to truly, honestly do that. Then, up he pops, with another hideous 'moment', and I'm stuck, all over again. I know that I should forgive x 7, and then just keep on forgiving, BUT it is beyond a joke.

How do you keep on forgiving someone who is a real pain in the ***. Especially when you know that they are going to continually pop up in the future because you have children in common.

All advice on this subject is welcome x
 
Another thing is we ALL offend others in many ways. But most of this is unintentional, which also means its forgiveable. Its when its deliberately hurtful, like when someone insults someone, that there might be cause to take offence. And also, might be wise to avoid this person.

Most times if a person is offended by some one else it's because their emotions controlled their thinking and they became offended.

All offenses matter if unintentional or on purpose are Forgivable.

When we are walking in offense or we are walking all offended then we Are Not in Faith.
Faith simply can not function in an offended state.

Love is the Key over offenses. Love Forgives and Faith needs Love to Operate effectively.
Love won't be so easily offended and in fact when we operate in Love we can not be offended so easily.

Blessings
 
How do you keep on forgiving someone who is a real pain in the ***. Especially when you know that they are going to continually pop up in the future because you have children in common.
You simply walk in the Love of God.

Another thing......how is your heart condition?
Is it full of God's Love or grudges etc?

You expect him to be a pain.
Perhaps you are still judging him by what you see and feel instead of what God sees...
 
I'm trying, I really am.

Let's see. When you think of him or see him or know he is coming around......you experience dread and other feelings .....

Bottom line.....Emotions are controlling your thinking which is feeding your emotions.

Take Authority over your Emotions and Thoughts.

It's a choice. It's not what our flesh wants to do but then again......it's the flesh that is causing all your issues.......

We must make up our mind and simply do it.
It's what is known as suffering for Christ or as Christ suffered.
Our Flesh does not want to and when we take authority over our flesh.....there will be some suffering. ....

Blessings
 
Here's the thing, I do make up my mind, and I do it. But it's continuous. He comes at me again, and again, and again. And every time it's unpleasant.

And, quite frankly, I'd like to stick a fork in his head. But that simply wouldn't be right!!!

So I keep on praying to be able to do the right thing and forgive.
 
Here's the thing, I do make up my mind, and I do it. But it's continuous. He comes at me again, and again, and again. And every time it's unpleasant.

And, quite frankly, I'd like to stick a fork in his head. But that simply wouldn't be right!!!

So I keep on praying to be able to do the right thing and forgive.
Pray for his peace and pray ps 18:48 and only speak that every time you see him.. it's a joy or pleasant to be around him
 
And, quite frankly, I'd like to stick a fork in his head. But that simply wouldn't be right!!!

There you go......
You have aught in your heart against him and it is controlling.

Praying to do the right thing?
It's your choice alone.

How about seeking God and letting Him in the areas of your heart that you have kept Him out concerning your ex husbsnd?

All the Prayer in the world won't fix a thing if you don't first Allow the Father Access to Root up that area of your heart.

Oh and Hello back to you Annie....
Blessings
 
Here's the thing, I do make up my mind, and I do it. But it's continuous. He comes at me again, and again, and again. And every time it's unpleasant.

By speaking this above.... Your allowing the enemy to/or giving him permission to keep this happening. You have to be like God and call those things that be not as though they were ... Meaning speak the desired end result... Which is peace.. which lines up with God's will... Which is love. And as you walk in love... It opens the door for The Father to move on your behalf. So you give God/love permission to work instead of strife. For each seed (love or strife) will produce after it's own kind and love is stronger than strife... Darkness cannot put out the light which is love. :)
Blessings and prayers to you always
 
Forgiveness I a quality of the forgiver more than the forgiven being deserving of forgiveness.

It can be learned, it is part of true humility and cannot be truly accomplished until progress is made on that front. Many times difficulty in forgiving is that one feels that their own rightness and the others wrongness has not been agreed to by all concerned and we feel that as being further harm to everyone's sense of our being harmed.

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus *said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."
Matt 18:21,22

Our Lord said nothing about the forgiven being deserving.
 
Someone will take offense at some small thing and not let go. This can sour otherwise close relationships even when no offense was intended.

If I may add to this.
1. It very much hinder and sour your Relationship with the Father.
.......as long as you hold onto the OFFENSE then you have become wayside to anything the Father wants to do in you and through you.

2. Most cases.....when people quickly get offended it is out if a spirit of selfishness and pride. It has become about self.
......most times it never was an offense but self made it one.

Blessings
FCJ
 
If I may add to this.
1. It very much hinder and sour your Relationship with the Father.
.......as long as you hold onto the OFFENSE then you have become wayside to anything the Father wants to do in you and through you.

2. Most cases.....when people quickly get offended it is out if a spirit of selfishness and pride. It has become about self.
......most times it never was an offense but self made it one.

Blessings
FCJ

The damage an unforgiving heart does is why forgiveness is more a quality of the forgives than the forgiven.

If you look at post#2 in this thread where I attempted to provide definitions for forgiveness, mercy and grace, none of those definitions related to the one being forgiven, only to the forgives.

Further, if you look at grace as looking for and concentrating on the better qualities, it should be logical that those that are forgiving are exhibiting grace.

Practicing grace increases our mastery of love.

Being unforgiving hardens our own soul.
 
The damage an unforgiving heart does is why forgiveness is more a quality of the forgives than the forgiven.

If you look at post#2 in this thread where I attempted to provide definitions for forgiveness, mercy and grace, none of those definitions related to the one being forgiven, only to the forgives.

Further, if you look at grace as looking for and concentrating on the better qualities, it should be logical that those that are forgiving are exhibiting grace.

Practicing grace increases our mastery of love.

Being unforgiving hardens our own soul.
Grace and Mercy can be seen as favor that we don't deserve.
Mercy is Grace and Grace is Mercy.

Love is Grace and Mercy. Through Mercy and Grace God Loved us before we loved Him.

Forgiveness therefore can be seen as Grace and Mercy since forgiveness won't operate outside of Love.

I agree Forgiveness for the most part effects us most. However sometimes....our forgiveness effects some one else more then we can explain.

Blessings to you Brother
 
Thanks for responses, I just want to touch on something, that there is an unforgiveable sin that Jesus mentioned that is not forgiven in this world or the next. And that is blasphemy of the holy spirit.

Its not just unbelief, its like absolute refusal to believe and insulting to the holy spirit how do you know if someone has crossed the line to where they just cannot be forgiven?

With exes, well thats a hard one, literally Jesus said divorce only happened because peoples hearts were hard, I dont know if on account of which party, as each divorce case is different, but only thing can offer is, if you ex died would you go to their funeral? Are they still an active parent to your children you have together? If so, maybe they have some redeeming qualities that you arent aware of. I think in some cases where the ex is abusive, then its not only danger to the spouse but also to the children, and this is where I dont quite understand why people get restraining orders for themselves but not for children. If a spouse abuses their partner, would they not be even more in danger of harming their children. Especially if the children are left on their own with the abusive partner?
 
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