Getting Angry When Others Disagree With Us

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bobinfaith

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Hello brothers and sisters;

These last several weeks I was reviewing Christian Forums including Christian Forum Site and noticed how much of the same threads include members disagreeing with the author or other posters.

What's ironic is when the author writes a thread and includes a message from God; In the mix of the message will include love, patience, bearing, support, listening and seeking accord with one another in Christ, unfortunately, many of us cannot handle when someone disagrees or makes an objective comment/opinion regarding our beliefs and theology. We escalate our differences and before you know it, the verb of the thread is lost and the fellowship is broken.

Are we worried the world wide public will see our faith and theology post refuted by someone who is a seasoned Christian? Or, are we intimidated to post what we are led in a discussion only to be "corrected down," "manipulated or baited" by the author or another member?

I could include face to face relationships off the internet but I'm specifically writing about our fellowship on Christian Forums. Chances are if you get angry when others disagree or have a differing opinion with you is most likely what you exhibit, inwardly or outward in your life off the internet.

Getting angry when others disagree or offer their constructive opinion hinders our rationale with the author and other members. This remains under the rug, we avoid other members in a forum and overlook seeking peace when God offers this in all circumstances.

So how do we reconcile this within ourselves? Start with ourselves.

The first thing we need to accept is we who follow Christ daily, builds us up in our heart and tongue with others, especially those who don't know Christ. The next time someone offers their opinion or disagreement, remember that we were led to post or read the topic in the first place. Not everyone is going to be in 100% agreement with you. Unless you're a continuing student of the Bible and in people relationships seeking learning, noone's disagreement or opinion can force you to retract your truthful convictions. God is constantly doing a good work in you and this includes His growing you in wisdom, learning and discernment in your own disposition and character.

For the last 19 years as a joiner and writer on Christian Forums, fellowship and discussing topics is different than "live people testimony." It was a hard lesson for me. It took God to fill me with a spirit of receiving instead of reacting. When someone reads my thread or post and offers their disagreement or opinion, do I listen and take a step back? Do I still love and accept them? It takes work but having God's peace and calm make it possible for me to discuss differences with others and the hope that I can learn from them.

Some who read this may reflect on their interaction with others in a Christian Forum. Others will read this as another post and go back to the way things are. Regardless, I still love them, choose to get out of God's way and let them go.

Please share your thoughts in this discussion which may minister to others from your experience.

Love in Christ.
Bob
 
bobinfaith said:
Are we worried the world wide public will see our faith and theology post refuted by someone who is a seasoned Christian? Or, are we intimidated to post what we are led in a discussion only to be "corrected down," "manipulated or baited" by the author or another member?
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Dear bobinfaith
Thank you for your detailed and thoughtful post. It speaks to me on several levels, both inwardly in my dialogue with God, and in my outward conduct in my public fellowship.

In particular, is your quote that I’ve included above. This has been on my mind lately. I believe that there are a number of members who are intimidated, and many who are discouraged from posting, when well established and well meaning brothers and sisters are quick to point out the aspects of posts that they disagree with. They poke holes in a post while taking for granted the germ of truth that may also be found. This often creates friction, and, as you point out, too often results in anger and estrangement. This has a chilling effect on the fellowship and it benefits no one.

Simply put, some people like public debate and look for the opportunity, and pursue it, but possibly at the expense of those who are of a more circumspect and less aggressive nature.

There is another option, and that is to choose something in a post to comment on we do agree with, and amplify that thought in Christ’s name.

We can choose to let many of the differences lay for a bit, they will perhaps even amend themselves over time, and instead, choose to fellowship more, reaching a greater good when we choose to build on those points we can come together on as the body of Christ.

If people feel safe in their discussions with each other, then I believe it would encourage more people to join in conversations and this benefits us all as a community, and in our personal journeys in understanding of His teachings.
God bless
 
blueskies said:
In particular, is your quote that I’ve included above. This has been on my mind lately. I believe that there are a number of members who are intimidated, and many who are discouraged from posting, when well established and well meaning brothers and sisters are quick to point out the aspects of posts that they disagree with. They poke holes in a post while taking for granted the germ of truth that may also be found. If people feel safe in their discussions with each other, then I believe it would encourage more people to join in conversations and this benefits us all as a community, and in our personal journeys in understanding of His teachings.
God bless
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Hello blueskies;

Thank you for your well thought post to this discussion. I red and blue lighted two points you make and would like to respond to the second.

This is what I pray for daily before logging on.

A Christian should feel 100% welcomed, comfortable and accepted in any fellowship gathering. This allows them to truly be themselves and express Christ centered thoughts while bringing out their best that God has made them.

This venue of online Christian forums opens up for everyone to get to know, bond and grow with each other in our discipleship.

Love in Christ.
Bob
 
bobinfaith said:
Hello blueskies;

Thank you for your well thought post to this discussion. I red and blue lighted two points you make and would like to respond to the second.

This is what I pray for daily before logging on.

A Christian should feel 100% welcomed, comfortable and accepted in any fellowship gathering. This allows them to truly be themselves and express Christ centered thoughts while bringing out their best that God has made them.

This venue of online Christian forums opens up for everyone to get to know, bond and grow with each other in our discipleship.

Love in Christ.
Bob
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R-E-S-P-E-C-T (someone could write a song about that🙂) is the key. If we love one another, we will find respecting one another to be natural and not a self-conscious effort.
 
If someone takes the time to create a thread, they are after a thoughtful discussion not a disagreement.
I don't understand why some people feel they have to respond to every single thread just to disagree with someone. I wouldn't bother post here if that kept happening.

If you want a debate, you'd be a politician or lawyer and argue in court.

People have different views, but when someone posts a thread especially if it's something very personal to them, they are mostly looking for encouragement, not a debate, diagnosis or judgement.
Not every thread is a apologetics argument, and God doesn't need you to defend Him.

I have given up on prayer threads here as some posters have now completely disrespected the purpose of them. When you say a prayer with 2 or 3 you are looking for AGREEMENT, that's why you say Amen.

Amen means 'so be it' or 'I agree'. If you can't say amen to the prayer, you are not in agreement or in prayer. That is so simple.
 
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Phillipians 2:14-16

The first part was the memory verse for this week..Do everything without grumbling or arguing.

If someone requests a prayer, and they are explaining their situation, which may even be life or death, they are NOT looking for someone to argue with them. They are asking someone to intercede in prayer. They may need scripture to deal with whatever situation they are faced with.

How can you pray when someone else is interrogating you, commenting on your personal situation, judging you or talking about politics?
 
So how do we reconcile this within ourselves? Start with ourselves.
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I once thought Major was really annoying when he said something I disagreed with. I wanted to tell him where to go But I value his input as an elder. I really had to bite my lip so I know how frustrating it is…but he gave me a new perspective. I figured I just liked my way of thinking better and didn’t like his way of thinking at all.
Others did chime in and agree with Major and it’s then when I really started to consider majors input could be right according to the bible it was!!

So Now I must always start with scripture before agreeing with my own thinking.
 
Christian forms are fun and times i find new information about doctrine beliefs i had never heard of. But understand this its a forum and sitting behind the key board in discussions of agreements /disagreements . especially over doctrine beliefs. you can be who or what ever you want sitting behind the key board. feeling will always be there and yes even anger , i been around forums for a number of years several forums in fact.

i was booted out of a forum because i disagreed with water baptism salvation . yes i stood my ground ... i have butted heads with admins over end times .. lets face it there will always be issues and nobody can stop. i am on ignore by a member in a forum i belong to. one thing ive learned is Dont kick the Golden cow of religion
 
Via dolarossa said:
I like this one a lot. I will use this from now on when people irritate me at work.😊
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May I say to all.......
if you disagree with what someone tells you, and when that something told to you is stright from the Bible.........YOU are wrong and you need to change! Yes, life is just that simple! God is always right!

As you know, it is not always what we say but HOW we say it that affects others.
 
I don't tend to go on doctrine discussions and kind of leave that to the theologians.
I know that debating theology is a fun pastime for some people but its not really for me. Some get a kick out of sharpening their irons.

Sometimes reading it can be entertaining like a 'my right church' vs 'your wrong church' kind of punch up.

Some haven't moved on from basics of baptism and salvation, though I figure that, many babes in Christ need milk not meat, meat is going to be too tough for them and they are not going to digest it well.

Sometimes the words people use are not easy to grasp, i.e trying to teach the concept of 'commitment' to a child, they don't quite get it either, but if you say something like 'promise' they DO get that.

How can you be angry at someone who is still learning I don't know. But people seem to think others should just know as much as they do or the exact same things.

Adults often make this mistake with children. They give them adult sized portions and then complain when the children can't eat it all.
 
bobinfaith said:
Hello brothers and sisters;

These last several weeks I was reviewing Christian Forums including Christian Forum Site and noticed how much of the same threads include members disagreeing with the author or other posters.

What's ironic is when the author writes a thread and includes a message from God; In the mix of the message will include love, patience, bearing, support, listening and seeking accord with one another in Christ, unfortunately, many of us cannot handle when someone disagrees or makes an objective comment/opinion regarding our beliefs and theology. We escalate our differences and before you know it, the verb of the thread is lost and the fellowship is broken.

Are we worried the world wide public will see our faith and theology post refuted by someone who is a seasoned Christian? Or, are we intimidated to post what we are led in a discussion only to be "corrected down," "manipulated or baited" by the author or another member?

I could include face to face relationships off the internet but I'm specifically writing about our fellowship on Christian Forums. Chances are if you get angry when others disagree or have a differing opinion with you is most likely what you exhibit, inwardly or outward in your life off the internet.

Getting angry when others disagree or offer their constructive opinion hinders our rationale with the author and other members. This remains under the rug, we avoid other members in a forum and overlook seeking peace when God offers this in all circumstances.

So how do we reconcile this within ourselves? Start with ourselves.

The first thing we need to accept is we who follow Christ daily, builds us up in our heart and tongue with others, especially those who don't know Christ. The next time someone offers their opinion or disagreement, remember that we were led to post or read the topic in the first place. Not everyone is going to be in 100% agreement with you. Unless you're a continuing student of the Bible and in people relationships seeking learning, noone's disagreement or opinion can force you to retract your truthful convictions. God is constantly doing a good work in you and this includes His growing you in wisdom, learning and discernment in your own disposition and character.

For the last 19 years as a joiner and writer on Christian Forums, fellowship and discussing topics is different than "live people testimony." It was a hard lesson for me. It took God to fill me with a spirit of receiving instead of reacting. When someone reads my thread or post and offers their disagreement or opinion, do I listen and take a step back? Do I still love and accept them? It takes work but having God's peace and calm make it possible for me to discuss differences with others and the hope that I can learn from them.

Some who read this may reflect on their interaction with others in a Christian Forum. Others will read this as another post and go back to the way things are. Regardless, I still love them, choose to get out of God's way and let them go.

Please share your thoughts in this discussion which may minister to others from your experience.

Love in Christ.
Bob
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Excellent post. I really appreicate this bobinfaith
 
LearningToLetGo said:
This is true. Now only if we could agree to the meaning behind the words in the Bible...
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Why do you think we disagree so much on what is clearly stated in the Bible.

God said that murder is a sin...........................................................we say that women have a choice on killing their baby.
God said that homosexuality is a sin.............................................we say that it is a lifestyle choice.
God said that He created man and woman for the man.......We say that we can change our gender if we dont like it.

I believe that It is important to recognize that neither human sin, nor mans own judgment in the form of the fragmentation of human languages prevented God from effectively communicating with those he has chosen. In other words, what God said is what He meant to say!

The early eighteenth century Swiss theologian Benedict Pictet put it this way in his "Christian Theology, pg 48............
"… either God could not reveal himself more plainly to men, or he would not. No one will assert the former, and the latter is most absurd; for who could believe that God our heavenly Father has been unwilling to reveal his will to his children, when it is necessary to do so, in order that men might more easily obey it? "

So then, it seems to me that the lack of clarity does not lie on the side of Scripture but on the side of the reader!!!!

Do YOU think that the most serious of all are those instances where differences occur because one group or another (or perhaps both) refuse to let the biblical text call us to repent of wrong thinking or wrong behavior and so we invent ways of explaining the text that are less demanding.??????????
 
bobinfaith said:
Hello brothers and sisters;

These last several weeks I was reviewing Christian Forums including Christian Forum Site and noticed how much of the same threads include members disagreeing with the author or other posters.

What's ironic is when the author writes a thread and includes a message from God; In the mix of the message will include love, patience, bearing, support, listening and seeking accord with one another in Christ, unfortunately, many of us cannot handle when someone disagrees or makes an objective comment/opinion regarding our beliefs and theology. We escalate our differences and before you know it, the verb of the thread is lost and the fellowship is broken.

Are we worried the world wide public will see our faith and theology post refuted by someone who is a seasoned Christian? Or, are we intimidated to post what we are led in a discussion only to be "corrected down," "manipulated or baited" by the author or another member?

I could include face to face relationships off the internet but I'm specifically writing about our fellowship on Christian Forums. Chances are if you get angry when others disagree or have a differing opinion with you is most likely what you exhibit, inwardly or outward in your life off the internet.

Getting angry when others disagree or offer their constructive opinion hinders our rationale with the author and other members. This remains under the rug, we avoid other members in a forum and overlook seeking peace when God offers this in all circumstances.

So how do we reconcile this within ourselves? Start with ourselves.

The first thing we need to accept is we who follow Christ daily, builds us up in our heart and tongue with others, especially those who don't know Christ. The next time someone offers their opinion or disagreement, remember that we were led to post or read the topic in the first place. Not everyone is going to be in 100% agreement with you. Unless you're a continuing student of the Bible and in people relationships seeking learning, noone's disagreement or opinion can force you to retract your truthful convictions. God is constantly doing a good work in you and this includes His growing you in wisdom, learning and discernment in your own disposition and character.

For the last 19 years as a joiner and writer on Christian Forums, fellowship and discussing topics is different than "live people testimony." It was a hard lesson for me. It took God to fill me with a spirit of receiving instead of reacting. When someone reads my thread or post and offers their disagreement or opinion, do I listen and take a step back? Do I still love and accept them? It takes work but having God's peace and calm make it possible for me to discuss differences with others and the hope that I can learn from them.

Some who read this may reflect on their interaction with others in a Christian Forum. Others will read this as another post and go back to the way things are. Regardless, I still love them, choose to get out of God's way and let them go.

Please share your thoughts in this discussion which may minister to others from your experience.

Love in Christ.
Bob
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Bob..........I am afraid that what you have come to learn is the fact of human nature on display on ALL Forums!!!! The SIN Nature is alive and well!

You see, people here can hide behind a computer screen and say things that they would never say to you face to face.

AMONINITY gives the feeling of power and knowledge!

The Lord Jesus Christ taught us all to confess, repent and forgive. He also said that we should always take responsibility of our actions!

However........PRIDE comes in and convinces us that WE are right and the other person is wrong which makes him inferior and less of a Christian than are we!

So then we stake out our position and come hell or high water, we will not be moved no matter what God says. We will even degrade and disrespect those who do not agree with our position.

We have all seen it take place right here in front of us. Arguments and anger of NOTHING!

We MUST be baptized in water to be saved.
We MUST participate in foot washing to be considered holy.
We MUST speak in tongues to show that we are filled with the holy Spirit.
We MUST believe in miracles.

ALL of those ideas, and more, are rooted in TRADITIONS of Men and have NO Bible foundations. They are what we have been taught and we accepted them and now we simply will not do the work to prove their validity over the writtten Word of God.

That is PRIDE in action and PRIDE is the #1 sin that God hates!
 
Lanolin said:
I don't tend to go on doctrine discussions and kind of leave that to the theologians. I know that debating theology is a fun pastime for some people but its not really for me. Some get a kick out of sharpening their irons. Sometimes reading it can be entertaining like a 'my right church' vs 'your wrong church' kind of punch up. Some haven't moved on from basics of baptism and salvation, though I figure that, many babes in Christ need milk not meat, meat is going to be too tough for them and they are not going to digest it well. Sometimes the words people use are not easy to grasp, i.e trying to teach the concept of 'commitment' to a child, they don't quite get it either, but if you say something like 'promise' they DO get that. How can you be angry at someone who is still learning I don't know. But people seem to think others should just know as much as they do or the exact same things. Adults often make this mistake with children. They give them adult sized portions and then complain when the children can't eat it all.
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LearningToLetGo said:
This is true. Now only if we could agree to the meaning behind the words in the Bible...
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Major said:
Bob..........I am afraid that what you have come to learn is the fact of human nature on display on ALL Forums!!!! The SIN Nature is alive and well! You see, people here can hide behind a computer screen and say things that they would never say to you face to face. AMONINITY gives the feeling of power and knowledge!

The Lord Jesus Christ taught us all to confess, repent and forgive. He also said that we should always take responsibility of our actions!

However........PRIDE comes in and convinces us that WE are right and the other person is wrong which makes him inferior and less of a Christian than are we!

So then we stake out our position and come hell or high water, we will not be moved no matter what God says. We will even degrade and disrespect those who do not agree with our position.

We have all seen it take place right here in front of us. Arguments and anger of NOTHING!

We MUST be baptized in water to be saved.
We MUST participate in foot washing to be considered holy.
We MUST speak in tongues to show that we are filled with the holy Spirit.
We MUST believe in miracles.

ALL of those ideas, and more, are rooted in TRADITIONS of Men and have NO Bible foundations. They are what we have been taught and we accepted them and now we simply will not do the work to prove their validity over the writtten Word of God.

That is PRIDE in action and PRIDE is the #1 sin that God hates!
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Whether you are led to fellowship by posting and reading other's "testimonies, prayer requests, venting, praises," or "theological / doctrine" discussions is up to you.

The point is the theme of this topic is are we still Getting Angry When Others Disagree With Us

Many people who post behind a keyboard while in their "breathing space," chances are they are who they are when they are face to face with others off the internet. The difference is they hold it inside whereas on the internet they feel comfortable letting it go, "who is going to see me when I click the 'Post reply' button?"

LearningToLetGo posted, if we could agree to the meaning behind the words in the Bible...

I've read many posts and people who post all kinds of things. People who engage in a Christian Forum setting should be comfortable expressing themself while keeping it Christ centered. If it's a deep theological discussion, I encourage all of us, don't become intimidated because that's not from God. Take that step of faith and participate.

If someone is blessed and shares their Church, Pastor, ministry, faith, etc..and makes a comment about your faith and ministry, they may not be Christ, Biblical or doctrinally correct, but I believe it's God who builds up. It's also God who will lead a seasoned Christian to post and reveal correction to a member in a Christian Forum for the purpose of building and growing that person for Christ. But God and we are to do it in a gentle and loving spirit.

Getting angry when others disagree, offend or when we attempt to get the "last word" in a Christian Forum only breaks down our conviction, prayer request, testimony and learning.

Going public and refuting another sharply is disgraceful. It says something about you. Go to your brother or sister, between the two of you in a PM and point out their fault. It may not get resolved quickly but can go a long way with the other who offended you. When I have practiced this there were times I was actually at fault.

If you are discouraged because other Christians "don't get it" then leave your post there, get out of God's way, love and let them go. God sees everyone, is always at work to those who believe in Him and will intervene. If the person is not learning or blows you off, allow God to see and do what He will.

Many times a disagreement needs time to take a step back and digest for both parties.

Love in Christ.
Bob
 
Dave F. said:
Romans 12:8 "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men."

I believe this includes our speech and posts. I know it is hard to see emotion in the written word, often times some people read emotion into a comment that wasn't there. Everything we do, we should do in HIS love.
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Great post, Dave. During lunch after church yesterday a sister member surprisingly commented on a joke that I made. I didn't say anything derogative but it raised a chuckle. So I didn't want to read into her emotion (if there was any in her comment.)

Chances are it wasn't anything and I trust this person would be straight up with me if I rubbed the others or said something wrong.

But what you said made me take a step back and think.

God bless you, brother.
 
Major said:
Why do you think we disagree so much on what is clearly stated in the Bible.
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The Bible is not always clear though. In many ways it's intentionally vague, requiring us to contemplate it in order to open its full meaning. Consider, for example, the parables of Jesus. These are not always easy to understand and different people can understand them in different ways. It did not have to be that way. Jesus could have penned a treatise himself if he wanted, but he didn't want that.

The debate we see is a natural process of divining information. Anger is oftentimes a side-effect. Certainly we should check our anger and always speak from love, but that does not mean we'll always agree. For better or worse, as long as there is more that one person in a conversation we will never fully agree with each other on all things. :(
 
LearningToLetGo said:
The Bible is not always clear though. In many ways it's intentionally vague, requiring us to contemplate it in order to open its full meaning. Consider, for example, the parables of Jesus. These are not always easy to understand and different people can understand them in different ways. It did not have to be that way. Jesus could have penned a treatise himself if he wanted, but he didn't want that.

The debate we see is a natural process of divining information. Anger is oftentimes a side-effect. Certainly we should check our anger and always speak from love, but that does not mean we'll always agree. For better or worse, as long as there is more that one person in a conversation we will never fully agree with each other on all things. :(
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When you were in school, do you remember those students who just could not learn from their teacher? I know I certainly did!

I remember being one of those people. That being said, and as can be clearly seen, this is not a perfect world. Ask any —even the best classroom teacher has his share of wayward students who seem to resist learning, no matter what the teacher does.

May I say that not everyone who possesses the Holy Spirit actually listens to the Holy Spirit. There are Christians who grieve Him

So, one reason different people have different interpretations of the Bible is simply that some do not listen to the Teacher—the Holy Spirit.

There are many reason and I would say that one of them is UNBELIEF! The fact is that many who claim to be Christians have never been born again. They wear the label of “Christian,” but there has been no true change of heart.

The fact is that many who claim to be Christians have never been born again. They wear the label of “Christian,” but there has been no true change of heart.

Then I would say that the Lack of training plays a big part. The apostle Peter warns against those who misinterpret the Scriptures. He attributes their spurious teachings in part to the fact that they are “ignorant” in 2 Peter 3:16.2

Timothy is told to “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth” in 2 Tim. 2:15. There is no shortcut to proper biblical interpretation; we are constrained to study.

Then there is Poor hermeneutics. Much error has been promoted because of a simple failure to apply good hermeneutics (the science of interpreting Scripture). Taking a verse out of its immediate context can do great damage to the intent of the verse. A perfect example is those who insist that water Baptism plays a part in the salvation experience.

Then Undue emphasis on tradition plays a huge part in why there is error in Bible interpretation. Some churches claim to believe the Bible, but their interpretation is always filtered through the established traditions of their church. Where tradition and the teaching of the Bible are in conflict, tradition is given precedence. This effectively negates the authority of the Word and grants supremacy to the church leadership. The perfect example of this is "speaking in tongues".
 
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