Growing older gracefully

Dec 19, 2014
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I used to help garden for a widow in her 80s with another friend from church. It was hard going because she was in this huge house alone with her dog, and she couldnt move around much as she was suffering from a torn tendon. On a few occasions she got cranky and blamed me for stuff I didnt do, or at least not deliberately.

But at other times she was lovely. I coulndt be around her alone though cos her barbs would be quite cutting. Also she would forget quite easily things and then have to ask again. She has now downsized and moved to a retirement village and I have yet to visit her again but havent been in a huge hurry to do so just yet. Her children had a lot of trouble convincing her to move she was like a hoarder and it was a massive job just to get her things out of the house. But i think she was just holding on to her husbands memories.

I think if youve been very active all your life and then suddenly you are hit by illness or weakness and frailty you dont adjust well and its frustrating. But you cant always expect others to just know you need help or in pain unless you ask them or tell them.

Even babies let us know if they need aomething by crying out. If you dont cry, how do people ever know to comfort you?
 
Oct 30, 2016
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LB calif
I used to help garden for a widow in her 80s with another friend from church. It was hard going because she was in this huge house alone with her dog, and she couldnt move around much as she was suffering from a torn tendon. On a few occasions she got cranky and blamed me for stuff I didnt do, or at least not deliberately.

But at other times she was lovely. I coulndt be around her alone though cos her barbs would be quite cutting. Also she would forget quite easily things and then have to ask again. She has now downsized and moved to a retirement village and I have yet to visit her again but havent been in a huge hurry to do so just yet. Her children had a lot of trouble convincing her to move she was like a hoarder and it was a massive job just to get her things out of the house. But i think she was just holding on to her husbands memories.

I think if youve been very active all your life and then suddenly you are hit by illness or weakness and frailty you dont adjust well and its frustrating. But you cant always expect others to just know you need help or in pain unless you ask them or tell them.

Even babies let us know if they need aomething by crying out. If you dont cry, how do people ever know to comfort you?
All valid points. But in my experience, we don't deny self, take up our cross ( bearing other people's burdens), and follow Him based upon how they treat us or having to ask for help.

What's important is that we have that desire to give everything, without any expectations of anything in return. Like the woman who wasted her most valuable possession, pouring out the oil onto Christs feet.

This is the blessing that can't be imetated.

Expecting people to ask for help or respond correctly isn't part of the equation in my eyes.
 

rtm3039

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Ok I will explain. When people ask for money they might ask lots of people for spare change so it will add up to something substantial if they keep asking different people. So dont feel you have to give them anything but coins.

A sausage sizzle is when people grill sausages on a bbq (in your country, like a hot dog or weiner) to sell to raise funds for something. Usually sold at $1.50 per sausage.

A raffle is like a lottery its a bunch of prizes people pick a number, pay for a ticket and if their ticket is drawn they win the prize. Usually its just $1 a ticket. The money also goes towards whatever you raising funds for.

Other places where its handy to have cash is when donating to charities. If everyone gives a little, it will add up to much. Its really only richer people that can flash their credit cards around, but not everything is always set up to take cards.
Around here, we have street vendors. They have to be licensed by the city and usually stand around the streets selling bottles of water, something we call "churros," or fruits like lemons, oranges, and something we call "mamonsillos" for $1.00 a piece. We also have many that sell roses, usually $5.00 for six. What these folks do is go to local flower shops and buy flowers that have reached the end of their shelf-life. They take them home and soak them in ice water. This prolongs the life of the flower for a couple more days (well, you should know this part).

We also have hustlers that play different games. There is a group that dress in military uniform and pass themselves off as a military charity. We also have some that dress in football (our football) uniforms and claim they are in a high school football team collecting money for summer camp.

Lastly, we have good old fashion "beggars." Those come in a variety of types. Some are in wheelchairs and have obvious deformations or missing limbs. Some are obviously mentally disturbed. Then you have the 20 somethings with wireless ear pieces and a $600 cell phone in their back pockets.

Today I have money to this one lady I have seen many times, but never gave her money. She is probably in her late 20s or early 30s and south American. She is think and does not appear to be mentally well. She makes eye contact with people, but does not talk to them. A couple of times, I have seen her actually lay on the hood of cars that are stationary while the light is red.

The last group we have are what I call the undocumented skilled labor force. These are all men and from various countries in South America. They usually hang out in the parking lots of our two largest home repair outlets (The Home Depot and Lowes). They wait around until some local contractor or resident need labor done. Most have great skills in masonry, carpentry, or lawn maintenance, but are willing to do the work for far less than the market price. However, now that we are in Trump world, there are not many because they are all undocumented and in fear of being arrested and deported.

rtm3039
 
Oct 30, 2016
18
7
3
60
LB calif
Around here, we have street vendors. They have to be licensed by the city and usually stand around the streets selling bottles of water, something we call "churros," or fruits like lemons, oranges, and something we call "mamonsillos" for $1.00 a piece. We also have many that sell roses, usually $5.00 for six. What these folks do is go to local flower shops and buy flowers that have reached the end of their shelf-life. They take them home and soak them in ice water. This prolongs the life of the flower for a couple more days (well, you should know this part).

We also have hustlers that play different games. There is a group that dress in military uniform and pass themselves off as a military charity. We also have some that dress in football (our football) uniforms and claim they are in a high school football team collecting money for summer camp.

Lastly, we have good old fashion "beggars." Those come in a variety of types. Some are in wheelchairs and have obvious deformations or missing limbs. Some are obviously mentally disturbed. Then you have the 20 somethings with wireless ear pieces and a $600 cell phone in their back pockets.

Today I have money to this one lady I have seen many times, but never gave her money. She is probably in her late 20s or early 30s and south American. She is think and does not appear to be mentally well. She makes eye contact with people, but does not talk to them. A couple of times, I have seen her actually lay on the hood of cars that are stationary while the light is red.

The last group we have are what I call the undocumented skilled labor force. These are all men and from various countries in South America. They usually hang out in the parking lots of our two largest home repair outlets (The Home Depot and Lowes). They wait around until some local contractor or resident need labor done. Most have great skills in masonry, carpentry, or lawn maintenance, but are willing to do the work for far less than the market price. However, now that we are in Trump world, there are not many because they are all undocumented and in fear of being arrested and deported.

rtm3039
Helping people less fortunate around the world has never been a priority to any president, or Christians for that matter.

Maybe people should take the initiative to go to the people who need help, Food, water, clothing, medical, etc., Instead of them having to leave their families risking their lives to come to the US and beg people on street corners to help them.

I realize people would have to give up that cheap labor?

There's no getting around it, this simply the fruit of our own selfishness! That includes all of us .
 

rtm3039

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Feb 5, 2019
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Helping people less fortunate around the world has never been a priority to any president, or Christians for that matter.

Maybe people should take the initiative to go to the people who need help, Food, water, clothing, medical, etc., Instead of them having to leave their families risking their lives to come to the US and beg people on street corners to help them.

I realize people would have to give up that cheap labor?

There's no getting around it, this simply the fruit of our own selfishness! That includes all of us.
Well, I would not go that far. On average, USAID sends over $50 billion to help less fortunate nations a year (granted this = only 1% of our federal budget, but it's still something. We also have agencies like the International Red Cross, the United Way, Habitat for Humanity, etc.

As Christians, we are called upon to be charitable. I get that. However, to what point? Most of us live good lives, but not many get off work and head straight to the yacht to get her ready for a spin around the Bahamas. I usually keel a "hand-full" of $1 bills in the glove compartment, or change in the cup holder, to give to those that ask; however, I would have to re-supply every day to keep up with demand.

A couple of years ago, I was on my way to some office and parked on the street adjacent to a Wendy's. When I walked across the parking lot, there was a guy standing right in front of "Now Hiring" sign and was asking for "$3 dollars to have enough to rent a room for the day." This guy added that he had just been released from jail and was probably in his 30s. Had one guy go crazy, because I did not agree to pay him to Armour-All my tires and one guy because I did not agree to have him wipe my windshield while waiting for a green light.

Don't get me wrong, this is a problem, but I am not sure it gets fixed a dollar at a time.

rtm3039

It's kind of complicated, but the answer is not always give, give, give.

rtm3039
 
Oct 30, 2016
18
7
3
60
LB calif
Well, I would not go that far. On average, USAID sends over $50 billion to help less fortunate nations a year (granted this = only 1% of our federal budget, but it's still something. We also have agencies like the International Red Cross, the United Way, Habitat for Humanity, etc.

As Christians, we are called upon to be charitable. I get that. However, to what point? Most of us live good lives, but not many get off work and head straight to the yacht to get her ready for a spin around the Bahamas. I usually keel a "hand-full" of $1 bills in the glove compartment, or change in the cup holder, to give to those that ask; however, I would have to re-supply every day to keep up with demand.

A couple of years ago, I was on my way to some office and parked on the street adjacent to a Wendy's. When I walked across the parking lot, there was a guy standing right in front of "Now Hiring" sign and was asking for "$3 dollars to have enough to rent a room for the day." This guy added that he had just been released from jail and was probably in his 30s. Had one guy go crazy, because I did not agree to pay him to Armour-All my tires and one guy because I did not agree to have him wipe my windshield while waiting for a green light.

Don't get me wrong, this is a problem, but I am not sure it gets fixed a dollar at a time.

rtm3039

It's kind of complicated, but the answer is not always give, give, give.

rtm3039
Not a dollar at a time, but a life at a time.

Not many people realize this, but true Christianity isn't "believe and recieve.,"

True NT saving Faith is a Continually surrendered life!

I don't want to disrespect the thread so I'll leave it at that for now.
 
Dec 19, 2014
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I think its very hard to help someone who doesnt accept help and is ungrateful, which is why its not good to go and help someone who doesnt ask for it. God sends us the helper but only when we ask. He does not interfere with what we can do ourselves, we need to humble ourselves to receive Him. This is why not everyone receives the holy spirit, only those who ask. The spirit is grieved when people abuse Him. Also He loves it when we give thanks thats all He asks for.

Note that asking is a different thing from demanding. And He does not accept payment. Jesus has already paid the price.
 
Dec 19, 2014
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New Zealand
www.literatelibrarian.com
I think begging is a symptom of things going wrong in society and its usually economic changes that have brought it about. I think just give what you can but just pray for the people in difficult circumstances. Its just terrible to see people homeless when perfectly good homes are sitting empty, because richer people have bought them, as a landbank investment. Thats just wrong on so many levels.

Lots of people are now just living in their cars, worse is when theres children who have nowhere to go when rents get too high and people are laid off work. They need warm clothes and blankets on cold nights. I think people got to realise that land is an issue of have and have nots. People with lots of properties dont realise that, for some people they just have nowhere to go because way back then land was taken from them. Renting is ok IF you can afford it. But nobody wants to pay rent forever.