How do I protect myself from the enemy in this house?

naomanos

naomanos

How do I protect myself from the enemy in this house (my mom's house as I am here till I can get my own place)? As I just told my wife who I have much better contact with now, I feel like I am constantly under siege. More so in this house than I have ever been.

I was going to invite my wife to the drive-in movies (it's what I can afford at this point in life since movies are only $5.00 and you get two movies for that price), but my mom blew up at me, then called my wife and blew up at her. My wife didn't even know what was happening because she had just gotten home from church and I never had a chance to ask her. My wife put my mom on speakerphone a couple times and my mother-in-law who is living with my wife ended up getting indigestion because of my mom's words. I could feel the hate coming off of her in waves.

My mom feels that since my wife and I are separated that is how it should be, no going to dinners together, not going to movies together, nothing. Because that is how she did things and she says that is how things are done today. My wife's aunt and her ex-husband get along really well and they do not even have any kids together. She invited him to her wedding a couple years ago when she got remarried. They are like best friends. My mom doesn't believe in that.

I don't think that I am doing anything wrong. My wife doesn't think that we're doing anything wrong. My mother-in-law thinks it's great that my wife and I have this kind of relationship.

So how do I protect myself from the constant siege that I feel is happening? I consider my mom the enemy and this house is her stronghold.

I use Bible verses to counter my mom, it does no good.
 
Euphemia said:
You need to do what God tells you to do despite your mother.
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If it was only that easy. My mom is providing a roof over my head, food in my stomach, they bought me a used truck that I am slowly paying them back for.

I need to know how to protect myself from the hate and vitriol that I endure in this house. I feel under constant attack.

So I need more than "do what God tells you despite your mother" because to be honest I have heard nothing from God in quite so. E time now and it's not a lack of talking to him neither.
 
Please remember Euphemia, I am on my own. There is no other Christian brother in my life within close contact that I can go out with and talk to.
 
naomanos said:
If it was only that easy. My mom is providing a roof over my head, food in my stomach, they bought me a used truck that I am slowly paying them back for.

I need to know how to protect myself from the hate and vitriol that I endure in this house. I feel under constant attack.

So I need more than "do what God tells you despite your mother" because to be honest I have heard nothing from God in quite so. E time now and it's not a lack of talking to him neither.
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Right, it's not easy, but it is what we have to do if we want God's best for us. Ask Him what He desires for you to do in response to your mother, and then wait until He tells you. You are a grown man and do not need to abide by your mother's opinions. At the same time, remember, "a soft word turns away wrath."

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer deflects anger,
but harsh words make tempers flare.
 
Euphemia said:
You are a grown man and do not need to abide by your mother's opinions. At the same time, remember, "a soft word turns away wrath."

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer deflects anger,
but harsh words make tempers flare.
Click to expand...

I do my best to be gentle at all times towards my mom. It is very hard when it's a constant berating that I receive on a daily basis. I do not even want my daughter here on my days because of what I got through.

As for being a grown man, I agree wholeheartedly. As do many other people who think that if I choose to go out with the woman who is still my wife by law and by God, that is my choice. My mother, who hates my wife, doesn't agree and will say that I must honor thy father and mother by listening to her.

She is a very controlling person, but disguises it as love for me.

I have been asking God for two months now what I should do in response to my mom, and there has been only silence.
 
The only bright spot that I have is that her and my step-dad just got back from Dubai and they want to go back and stay. So my step-dad has been looking for a job over there every day.
 
naomanos said:
I do my best to be gentle at all times towards my mom. It is very hard when it's a constant berating that I receive on a daily basis. I do not even want my daughter here on my days because of what I got through.

As for being a grown man, I agree wholeheartedly. As do many other people who think that if I choose to go out with the woman who is still my wife by law and by God, that is my choice. My mother, who hates my wife, doesn't agree and will say that I must honor thy father and mother by listening to her.

She is a very controlling person, but disguises it as love for me.

I have been asking God for two months now what I should do in response to my mom, and there has been only silence.
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Of course, your mother is wrong. You need to stand up to her and tell her to mind her own business, once and for all, that your wife is till your wife, and after all, reconciliation is the end goal under God. Then go about your business.
 
Euphemia said:
Of course, your mother is wrong. You need to stand up to her and tell her to mind her own business, once and for all, that your wife is till your wife, and after all, reconciliation is the end goal under God. Then go about your business.
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I have done just that. She threatens to throw me out on the street. I do not need to live out on the street. I will lose the three part-time jobs that I have, I will not be able to see my kids because I have no where to keep them with me on the street.

It's a hellish balancing act that I am doing right now. Seems things will only get better when I have my own place, which I have to pay my parents back for the $3,000 truck they bought me, won't be any time soon.
 
Maybe the reason why God is silent is because I must go through this season in my life for a reason only known to him.
 
naomanos said:
How do I protect myself from the enemy in this house (my mom's house as I am here till I can get my own place)? As I just told my wife who I have much better contact with now, I feel like I am constantly under siege. More so in this house than I have ever been.

I was going to invite my wife to the drive-in movies (it's what I can afford at this point in life since movies are only $5.00 and you get two movies for that price), but my mom blew up at me, then called my wife and blew up at her. My wife didn't even know what was happening because she had just gotten home from church and I never had a chance to ask her. My wife put my mom on speakerphone a couple times and my mother-in-law who is living with my wife ended up getting indigestion because of my mom's words. I could feel the hate coming off of her in waves.

My mom feels that since my wife and I are separated that is how it should be, no going to dinners together, not going to movies together, nothing. Because that is how she did things and she says that is how things are done today. My wife's aunt and her ex-husband get along really well and they do not even have any kids together. She invited him to her wedding a couple years ago when she got remarried. They are like best friends. My mom doesn't believe in that.

I don't think that I am doing anything wrong. My wife doesn't think that we're doing anything wrong. My mother-in-law thinks it's great that my wife and I have this kind of relationship.

So how do I protect myself from the constant siege that I feel is happening? I consider my mom the enemy and this house is her stronghold.

I use Bible verses to counter my mom, it does no good.
Click to expand...

First and foremost, pray for your mother.

I have no idea why she dislikes your wife and her behaviour is unacceptable.

My mother is also a complicated person but she's a diagnosed schizophrenic and I have good reasons to believe she's under some sort of demonic influence (e.g. she was involved in the occult for several years).
 
Sorry to hear about your situation. Times like these can be awful. I would try to avoid the ugliness by letting your mother know as little of what is going on as possible.
You are required to show her respect but not let her know what's going on. Since she seems incapable of keeping a level head about the simplest of things, don't burden her with the information.
To put it bluntly, if she is not a friend then what you do and who you see is none of her business.

I also wouldn't bother quoting scripture to her, it only throws gasoline on the fire.
 
Glomung said:
Sorry to hear about your situation. Times like these can be awful. I would try to avoid the ugliness by letting your mother know as little of what is going on as possible.
You are required to show her respect but not let her know what's going on. Since she seems incapable of keeping a level head about the simplest of things, don't burden her with the information.
To put it bluntly, if she is not a friend then what you do and who you see is none of her business.

I also wouldn't bother quoting scripture to her, it only throws gasoline on the fire.
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Unfortunately, she questions everywhere I go unless she knows I am working. If I tell her that it's none of her business that adds fuel to the fire. If I ignore her, that adds fuel to the fire. I cannot lie to her, so I tell her the truth. That adds fuel to the fire.

No matter what I do, I add fuel to the fire.
 
naomanos said:
Maybe the reason why God is silent is because I must go through this season in my life for a reason only known to him.
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You never go through any season without Jesus with you every moment, and at the same time Jesus walks ahead of you into your future that you have yet to live out.

Your mother is not your authority. God is. Answer to Him alone. Respect your mother, but she does not have the privilege of knowing your business or getting involved in it---unless you give it to her.
 
Euphemia said:
You never go through any season without Jesus with you every moment, and at the same time Jesus walks ahead of you into your future that you have yet to live out.

Your mother is not your authority. God is. Answer to Him alone. Respect your mother, but she does not have the privilege of knowing your business or getting involved in it---unless you give it to her.
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If I don't tell her, she'll kick me out and I do not have anywhere to go unless I go to a disease ridden shelter. Is that where God wants me to go?
 
naomanos said:
Maybe the reason why God is silent is because I must go through this season in my life for a reason only known to him.
Click to expand...

naomanos,

I have prayed for you that you will be helped and guided through this difficult time in your life. This particular comment caught my attention and I wanted to speak a few words to you, if you will allow it.
If you are feeling that God is allowing this season in your life, rejoice. Rejoice! You are learning something, something very valuable, that you will probably carry with you for the rest of your life. Only you and God know what that is, for now. Maybe one day you will share that with us! In the meantime, remember that you are not tested or tempted with anything beyond your ability to resist or survive it. God has given you what you need to get through it already. As hard as it might be, include your thankfulness to the Lord for allowing this season to come upon you. He is shaping and molding us, we cracked and leaking vessels, to hold his Holy Spirit until we are brimming over with it. Please believe that though you are fighting against the truly evil forces of anger and hatred, God means this for GOOD in your life.
Peace be upon you brother!
Jane
 
naomanos said:
If I don't tell her, she'll kick me out and I do not have anywhere to go unless I go to a disease ridden shelter. Is that where God wants me to go?
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All I can say is that you are a grown man and you do not have a mommy. You have a mother who deserves your respect, but has no right to be in on your private business.

Perhaps God has you in an uncomfortable, gravelly place to teach you to stand up for what you want and what is right, and to usher you back together with your wife.
 
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Euphemia said:
Perhaps God has you in an uncomfortable, gravelly place to teach you to stand up for what you want and what is right, and to usher you back together with your wife.
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My wife doesn't want me back in the apartment anytime soon. So if I stand up for myself, I will end up out in the street or a disease ridden shelter (I have been in both as an EMT, so I know what I am talking about with the shelter). I do not want either of those things.
 
naomanos said:
My wife doesn't want me back in the apartment anytime soon. So if I stand up for myself, I will end up out in the street or a disease ridden shelter (I have been in both as an EMT, so I know what I am talking about with the shelter). I do not want either of those things.
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Of course you don't! But if you wait on God and ask Holy Spirit to give you boldness---we are as bold as a lion, now, remember?---then He will give you the words of wisdom to say, and have your mother respect your answers.

God is not lacking in this ability. You can trust Him.
 
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