How do you stand up for yourself :/

autumn oddity

autumn oddity

like, I felt like when I was at my grandma's I was taken advantage of ...I feel like bc I'm so nice..people see that as weakness and they'd say things to me they wouldn't to others...

I just hate I'm 25 trying to find find my voice. I feel I'm too old to be shy and quiet...but yah, I need to be more assertive bc I'm tired of people running over me.

thanks fr the advice
 
Hi Autumn,

Consider 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬7 AMPC
http://bible.com/8/1co.13.4-7.AMPC

Love does not worry about being taken advantage of because it's not selfish.
 
Cturtle said:
Hi Autumn,

Consider 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬7 AMPC
http://bible.com/8/1co.13.4-7.AMPC

Love does not worry about being taken advantage of because it's not selfish.
Click to expand...

For my sanity I've decided not to be around my family ( extended) anymore to avoid being burned.
 
I think its also good to discern who to be kind to because alot of people can take it as a weakness... And use you... And its your own fault if you let them... So...im gonna be more discerning and wise from now on..concerning some people
 
Num 6:24 — Num 6:26

The Lord bless thee, and keep thee:
The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:
The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

And now [brethren], I commit you to God [I deposit you in His charge, entrusting you to His protection and care]. And I commend you to the Word of His grace [to the commands and counsels and promises of His unmerited favor]. It is able to build you up and to give you [your rightful] inheritance among all God's set-apart ones (those consecrated, purified, and transformed of soul).
Acts 20:32 AMPC
http://bible.com/8/act.20.32.AMPC
 
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Hello Sister Autumn,
If you ever gave me a moment and listened to what I said, I beg of you now to shut off everything around you and listen to me on what I am about to share with you.

Think back with me for a moment. Your with your family and I imagine you helping in the kitchen preparing yet another awesome meal.

Your feeling good about your self and enjoying the day.....then out of the blue and with no warning bell or whistle some one says something to you that ends up angering you or hurting your feelings.....

Now please See And Hear this my dear sweet sister.

At that very split fraction of a second that you became upset with what was said to you.......you became offended.

Now here is the Truth about that split fraction of a moment of time.

That was Not Your Thought. You did not even think up this thought on your own. Nope sis, you were played, bamboozled,
hoodwinked or another words you got hit with a firery dart from our enemy the devil.

See his darts Are thoughts And come with feelings and emotions. This is why we are commanded to take Every Thought Captive. If they don't line up with the word of God then we are to Not think about them any longer. Tell the devil No that is his thought and you walk in love and forgiveness.

See his plan is to get you Thinking on the offense and feeling the offense until you begin to act on the offense and then he has you and he now can begin to build strong holds in your thinking.

Look they don't call this the battle of the mind for nothing.

If it's not a family member it will be some one or something else. Autumn I have seen a huge, giant change in you over this past month. It's called spiritual growth. Now that simply scares and angers our enemy the devil and he will turn up the heat in an attempt to destroy that growth.

Look he hates God therefore he hates us because God loves us and Jesus went to the cross and stripped and defeated him for us.
God has given us authority over him but we must grow in Christ in order to possess this authority or Ability to send him packing.

One last piece of vital information.
It's not power that we concern our selves with for the devil has none over a Spirit Filled believer unless we give it to him. That is why he Seeks Looking for some one to devour. he just can't do what ever he pleases.

Scripture tells us in Ephesians 6:11

Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

Stand against the Wiles or Schemes
of the devil. These are thoughts. These are the darts.

his trickery and mind games are no match to the carnal mind or natural scrooples no matter what knowledge or iq you have. That's what he wants you to do because you have no power or authority or right to defeat him. It's only by the word of God can he be defeated in your life.

Out of the heart the mouth does speak.
If God's word is not in your heart (spirit) in abundance then it can't come out for it is not there to come out. Head knowledge or wisdom and faith is useless
against him. It must contain God's word daily in order to be able to stand.

Sister Autumn.......he the devil is haunting you, nagging and pulling on you trying to steel your growth. It's not your family that is the problem, it is he the devil that is your problem.

The devil uses any one he can and those who have not learned to bridal the tongue gets used the most and I am talking about well meaning Christians.

Think about this please. I beg of you to not let the devil sucker punch you out of that beautiful and most awesome growth I saw and see in you.

Obtw girl...... autumn oddity , you ware it well. Jesus and God in you fits perfectly together.
God bless my sister
FCJ
 
Fish Catcher Jim said:
Scripture tells us in Ephesians 6:11

Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
Click to expand...

Ephesians 6:14-17
Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;  in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Ever notice... The whole armor of God contains a breastplate no backplate? This armor is designed for those that are advancing on the enemy, not for those that are running away!!!
 
autumn oddity said:
like, I felt like when I was at my grandma's I was taken advantage of ...I feel like bc I'm so nice..people see that as weakness and they'd say things to me they wouldn't to others...

I just hate I'm 25 trying to find find my voice. I feel I'm too old to be shy and quiet...but yah, I need to be more assertive bc I'm tired of people running over me.

thanks fr the advice
Click to expand...
This is something you do need to learn. What you have said is true. It happens. Become more assertive but don't but don't not be a Christian. Sometimes not saying anything is saying something too. So definitely think before you just jump. The Holy Spirit will guide you. Good luck, praying for you!
 
Your family ( including extended ) is important and that relationship deserves continued perseverance. Avoiding one family member often means missing out on fellowship with others that are to be found in their presence.

As we become adults (and find our voices) it is sometimes difficult for the older members of the family to transition their side of the relationship to one of supporting the whole person-hood of the younger.

The younger adult the other hand, should remain open to learning from those with greater life experience.

As you mature both as a person, and as a child of God, you need to avoid seeing your value in terms of how other persons value you; but still be able weigh the comments, views and actions (both positive and negative) of others.

This does not necessarily mean become meek (in a weak willed sense) and unassuming, but less concerned with everyone agreeing that the other person is wrong than you being certain before the Lord that you are patient, kind, etc as in Cturtle's post (#2) in this thread.

If their comments and actions are off-base, you can recognize that fact within yourself, and before your Lord without developing rancor toward the other.

Where they hit closer to the truth, you can be grateful for the frank appraisal.

The enemy is not your family member, but the enemy may use enmity between you and that family member as a wedge between you and your Lord. Fight the enemy by maintaining a positive outlook. Battle the real enemy by strengthening ties of respect within your family.
 
KingJ said:
This is something you do need to learn. What you have said is true. It happens. Become more assertive but don't but don't not be a Christian. Sometimes not saying anything is saying something too. So definitely think before you just jump. The Holy Spirit will guide you. Good luck, praying for you!
Click to expand...
Right... I know there's a time to be silent and listen but it takes just as much strength to stand up for yourself..bc its easy for me to be a push over...very.. So I agree
 
Siloam said:
Your family ( including extended ) is important and that relationship deserves continued perseverance. Avoiding one family member often means missing out on fellowship with others that are to be found in their presence.

As we become adults (and find our voices) it is sometimes difficult for the older members of the family to transition their side of the relationship to one of supporting the whole person-hood of the younger.

The younger adult the other hand, should remain open to learning from those with greater life experience.

As you mature both as a person, and as a child of God, you need to avoid seeing your value in terms of how other persons value you; but still be able weigh the comments, views and actions (both positive and negative) of others.

This does not necessarily mean become meek (in a weak willed sense) and unassuming, but less concerned with everyone agreeing that the other person is wrong than you being certain before the Lord that you are patient, kind, etc as in Cturtle's post (#2) in this thread.

If their comments and actions are off-base, you can recognize that fact within yourself, and before your Lord without developing rancor toward the other.

Where they hit closer to the truth, you can be grateful for the frank appraisal.

The enemy is not your family member, but the enemy may use enmity between you and that family member as a wedge between you and your Lord. Fight the enemy by maintaining a positive outlook. Battle the real enemy by strengthening ties of respect within your family.
Click to expand...
I'm sorry but you don't know my family...if they did to you what they've done to me..youd distance yourself too..some people you have to love from.afar.. And that's what I intend to do.
 
Fish Catcher Jim said:
View attachment 2345
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Slander for His name is at least understandable. The right thing to do in such a situation is difficult but at least crystal clear.

The problem that I / many / all? of us battle with which is what I am sure Autumn is, is when it is not a visible attack from the devil or for being a Christian. Simply people power tripping all over a humble and kind Christian.
 
KingJ said:
when it is not a visible attack from the devil or for being a Christian. Simply people power tripping all over a humble and kind Christian.
Click to expand...
It's always an attack from our enemy.
Know your enemy and how he operates

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
 
I've been away from internet for the last few days...

I thought a lot of your post while I was gone.

There are times when you must absent yourself from things you are not able to change. This may be one of those times, but the title of this thread is "How do you stand up for yourself?". Avoiding these family situations is not standing up for yourself...

You would probably consider me an older person. I am getting a little gray, and I am retired, and I guess I am neither as sharp as I was, nor is my patience as great as it has been in the past, so I may be biased towards 'understanding' a crotchety elder.

I still believe that family estrangements cause untold grief to those everyone around.

But, if you must absent yourself, do it with the spirit of forgiveness. Do not hold grudge. It does not matter how many times, or in what ways you were unfairly treated, the forgiveness should be on the basis of who you are because of the Lord, not on the basis of how the other person behaves towards you.

Look at Mathew 18:21-22
Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus *said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. [ NASB ]​

Peter thought he was being generous allowing seven wrongs and still forgiving, since at that time in Jewish tradition three times was considered honorable. Jesus wouldn't have any of that. His response of seventy times seven is to be taken that there is no limit to the forgiveness that the Lord expects us to have for others.

Again, if you must absent yourself from your grandmother (and those around her):

Be ready to mend the relationship. If you go to family gatherings and she happens to be there, smile and be gracious. Do not leave in a huff. If you can not bring yourself to remain, say polite good-bye to all (including her).

Pray consistently for her welfare. Ask others in the family "how is she doing?, is there anything she needs?". You would be surprised how many long term feuds are quelled by trying to concentrating on what benefits the other.
 
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