How do you stand up for yourself :/

Blessings Brother Siloam
I just want to add a little something to your post with No thought of taking anything away from your post.

All of what you said can be summed up as Walking in Love which is a Command given unto us.

You can not walk in love with out forgiveness.

Some of the fruit or characteristics of
Love.........

Love is patient and kind; Because it forgives
love does not envy or boast; Because it forgives
it his not arrogant or rude. Because it forgives
It does not insist on its own way; Because it forgives
it is not irritable or resentful Because it forgives
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Because it forgives
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Because it forgives

The key here and every situation is

For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

So if you insist on your way with things like I deserve better then this, then you will experience strife and frustration and reap from the natural realm or carnal worldly ways.

But if you Do Things God's way then you shall reap from the spirit or another words God Will Step In On Your Behalf.

He can't do much for you if you are not doing things His way.

Truth in this is......you want God's help then you must do things God's way.
That's it in its simplicity.

Don't blame God for your problems if you insist on your way.

Disclaimer ....... the word You is used in general and is Not in any way directed to any one person.

Blessings
FCJ
 
autumn oddity said:
Right... I know there's a time to be silent and listen but it takes just as much strength to stand up for yourself..bc its easy for me to be a push over...very.. So I agree
Click to expand...

IMO, we can give you Bible verse after Bible verse but that is not really the problem is it sister. Your problem is really not a Bible or Christian one but more of a "personality" concern.

Only from what you have written, you seem to be a person whose feelings are easily hurt and you would rather swallow your hurt and anger than to express it.
Maybe I am wrong here and if I am, please forgive me as I will apologize to you in advance. Now then, the problem exacerbates itself when friends and family realize what is going on with you. That my dear sister is why some people take advantage of you and harm you emotionally or in your own words...........
"bc its easy for me to be a push over".

Does any of this sound familiar?????
I am not saying that is good or bad, only that it is what It is until you change it.

Example:
If a dog comes running at you, viciously barking and growling, if you will run right at him yelling and standing your ground, he will almost always stop and consider his next move. If you show fear, he sense it and will move in. But if you stand your ground they sense that as well.

Having spent a lot of time in the woods over my life time, I promise you that the same thing happens with Bears. Stand your ground and they will almost always back away.

Honestly, people are just like that. When they sense indecision, or fear or compromise, they will almost always take advantage of you.

I am not saying that you should run at a person, barking at them if they are trying to take advantage of you. I am however saying that you might want to try holding up your hand, palm toward that person and say something like.......
"Wait a minute. I am a person just like you and what you just said offends me, or you may not realize it, but you just hurt my feelings, or simply.....I can not agree with what you just said".
 
Major said:
a person whose feelings are easily hurt.
Click to expand...

Hi Major,
This type of person you spoke of above in my quote is what I am addressing in general and Not Applying this to autumn oddity or any one individual.

These folks ware their "Feelings and Emotions" on their shirt sleeve.
It's as if they major in offenses or another's words become offended by every little thing around them.

Most cases with people like this the following things happen more often then none.
They will hear things not said. Their mind twist what was said and make it offensive. The problem here is that most cases what they believe was said is nothing at all like what was really said or was meant or the tone used or even what was said.

This type of thing happens from strong holds in their thinking that have been in place and growing for many years. They do not see it and far too many times will not listen to some one who is truly trying to help them Simply Because they view it as some one telling them they are wrong or stupid and so forth.

I am only touching on the surface of this because this is a reply and not a teaching series. However from this point onwards, I am going to list some scriptures that will totally change and set a person free from this offensive life they live. Only if they get serious about this and Humble them selves and seek correction in their thinking and lives and in the end be totally delivered from this stronghold.

Oh and One more thing......it is people who come up with this deal that I need to stand up for my self and blast others because I am Not a Push over.
God does not expect us to be a door mat for others to trample on......But He does expect us to walk in His ways which means dealing with situations like this His Way and not our way.

OK Major Blessings and Love my Brother and now the scriptures which I will post in the end result first then How You Get To This Point or Place in one's life.


Fruit or characteristics of
Love.........
When a Person can make these Characteristics a Strong Part of who they are then they will Not Walk Being Offended at every little thing......

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind; Because it forgives
love does not envy or boast; Because it forgives
it his not arrogant or rude. Because it forgives
It does not insist on its own way; Because it forgives
it is not irritable or resentful Because it forgives
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Because it forgives
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Because it forgives

So how does a person get to the place in life they can walk with
Love being Big like this.......
Instructions below......


Galatians 5:16 and Romans 12:2 and 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

Romans 12:2
And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God

(( Get His word in you each and every day and speak His word each and every day ))

2 Corinthians 10:4-5
4... For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to pulling down strong holds

5... Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

(Begin to practice the words you speak and thoughts you think for our thoughts and words to control how we act or react and believe. Our own words do more do influence our thinking then most of everything else.)

Galatians 5:16
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh

(The more you do the first two the more you will begin to walk in the Spirit and you will be amazed to say the least.)

All done through the Grace of God
who maketh all grace abound to me. ( 2 Corinthians 9:8 )

This is Not something we can say yes well I have Done That......No. No No This my friend is a Life Style that we build on and live 24/7/365

Blessings
FCJ
 
Fish Catcher Jim said:
Hi Major,
This type of person you spoke of above in my quote is what I am addressing in general and Not Applying this to autumn oddity or any one individual.

These folks ware their "Feelings and Emotions" on their shirt sleeve.
It's as if they major in offenses or another's words become offended by every little thing around them.

Most cases with people like this the following things happen more often then none.
They will hear things not said. Their mind twist what was said and make it offensive. The problem here is that most cases what they believe was said is nothing at all like what was really said or was meant or the tone used or even what was said.

This type of thing happens from strong holds in their thinking that have been in place and growing for many years. They do not see it and far too many times will not listen to some one who is truly trying to help them Simply Because they view it as some one telling them they are wrong or stupid and so forth.

I am only touching on the surface of this because this is a reply and not a teaching series. However from this point onwards, I am going to list some scriptures that will totally change and set a person free from this offensive life they live. Only if they get serious about this and Humble them selves and seek correction in their thinking and lives and in the end be totally delivered from this stronghold.

Oh and One more thing......it is people who come up with this deal that I need to stand up for my self and blast others because I am Not a Push over.
God does not expect us to be a door mat for others to trample on......But He does expect us to walk in His ways which means dealing with situations like this His Way and not our way.

OK Major Blessings and Love my Brother and now the scriptures which I will post in the end result first then How You Get To This Point or Place in one's life.


Fruit or characteristics of
Love.........
When a Person can make these Characteristics a Strong Part of who they are then they will Not Walk Being Offended at every little thing......

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind; Because it forgives
love does not envy or boast; Because it forgives
it his not arrogant or rude. Because it forgives
It does not insist on its own way; Because it forgives
it is not irritable or resentful Because it forgives
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Because it forgives
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Because it forgives

So how does a person get to the place in life they can walk with
Love being Big like this.......
Instructions below......


Galatians 5:16 and Romans 12:2 and 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

Romans 12:2
And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God

(( Get His word in you each and every day and speak His word each and every day ))

2 Corinthians 10:4-5
4... For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to pulling down strong holds

5... Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

(Begin to practice the words you speak and thoughts you think for our thoughts and words to control how we act or react and believe. Our own words do more do influence our thinking then most of everything else.)

Galatians 5:16
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh

(The more you do the first two the more you will begin to walk in the Spirit and you will be amazed to say the least.)

All done through the Grace of God
who maketh all grace abound to me. ( 2 Corinthians 9:8 )

This is Not something we can say yes well I have Done That......No. No No This my friend is a Life Style that we build on and live 24/7/365

Blessings
FCJ
Click to expand...
Um no, I dont make things up in my head and twist them around till I'm offended..that would make me crazy and I'm certainly not. What my aunt said came from her mouth and my mother heard it too. :/

I know you didnt apply it to me..im just saying ... Putting it out there
 
Major said:
IMO, we can give you Bible verse after Bible verse but that is not really the problem is it sister. Your problem is really not a Bible or Christian one but more of a "personality" concern.

Only from what you have written, you seem to be a person whose feelings are easily hurt and you would rather swallow your hurt and anger than to express it.
Maybe I am wrong here and if I am, please forgive me as I will apologize to you in advance. Now then, the problem exacerbates itself when friends and family realize what is going on with you. That my dear sister is why some people take advantage of you and harm you emotionally or in your own words...........
"bc its easy for me to be a push over".

Does any of this sound familiar?????
I am not saying that is good or bad, only that it is what It is until you change it.

Example:
If a dog comes running at you, viciously barking and growling, if you will run right at him yelling and standing your ground, he will almost always stop and consider his next move. If you show fear, he sense it and will move in. But if you stand your ground they sense that as well.

Having spent a lot of time in the woods over my life time, I promise you that the same thing happens with Bears. Stand your ground and they will almost always back away.

Honestly, people are just like that. When they sense indecision, or fear or compromise, they will almost always take advantage of you.

I am not saying that you should run at a person, barking at them if they are trying to take advantage of you. I am however saying that you might want to try holding up your hand, palm toward that person and say something like.......
"Wait a minute. I am a person just like you and what you just said offends me, or you may not realize it, but you just hurt my feelings, or simply.....I can not agree with what you just said".
Click to expand...
Yeah, I have a hard time speaking up..but it needs to be done. Because if people can sense weakness they will take advantage .
 
autumn oddity said:
Um no, I dont make things up in my head and twist them around till I'm offended..that would make me crazy and I'm certain not. What my aunt said came from her mouth and my mother heard it too. :/

I know you didnt apply it to me..im just saying ... Putting it out there
Click to expand...
autumn oddity
Blessings,
I have question and a statement here.
1, if you knew I was not applying what I wrote to you - why did you feel the need to put it out there as you said?

I believe you missed what I was saying in the post in question.

Any way hope your night is going well.
Blessings
FCJ
 
Fish Catcher Jim said:
Hi Major,
This type of person you spoke of above in my quote is what I am addressing in general and Not Applying this to autumn oddity or any one individual.

These folks ware their "Feelings and Emotions" on their shirt sleeve.
It's as if they major in offenses or another's words become offended by every little thing around them.

Most cases with people like this the following things happen more often then none.
They will hear things not said. Their mind twist what was said and make it offensive. The problem here is that most cases what they believe was said is nothing at all like what was really said or was meant or the tone used or even what was said.

This type of thing happens from strong holds in their thinking that have been in place and growing for many years. They do not see it and far too many times will not listen to some one who is truly trying to help them Simply Because they view it as some one telling them they are wrong or stupid and so forth.

I am only touching on the surface of this because this is a reply and not a teaching series. However from this point onwards, I am going to list some scriptures that will totally change and set a person free from this offensive life they live. Only if they get serious about this and Humble them selves and seek correction in their thinking and lives and in the end be totally delivered from this stronghold.

Oh and One more thing......it is people who come up with this deal that I need to stand up for my self and blast others because I am Not a Push over.
God does not expect us to be a door mat for others to trample on......But He does expect us to walk in His ways which means dealing with situations like this His Way and not our way.

OK Major Blessings and Love my Brother and now the scriptures which I will post in the end result first then How You Get To This Point or Place in one's life.


Fruit or characteristics of
Love.........
When a Person can make these Characteristics a Strong Part of who they are then they will Not Walk Being Offended at every little thing......

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind; Because it forgives
love does not envy or boast; Because it forgives
it his not arrogant or rude. Because it forgives
It does not insist on its own way; Because it forgives
it is not irritable or resentful Because it forgives
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Because it forgives
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Because it forgives

So how does a person get to the place in life they can walk with
Love being Big like this.......
Instructions below......


Galatians 5:16 and Romans 12:2 and 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

Romans 12:2
And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God

(( Get His word in you each and every day and speak His word each and every day ))

2 Corinthians 10:4-5
4... For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to pulling down strong holds

5... Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

(Begin to practice the words you speak and thoughts you think for our thoughts and words to control how we act or react and believe. Our own words do more do influence our thinking then most of everything else.)

Galatians 5:16
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh

(The more you do the first two the more you will begin to walk in the Spirit and you will be amazed to say the least.)

All done through the Grace of God
who maketh all grace abound to me. ( 2 Corinthians 9:8 )

This is Not something we can say yes well I have Done That......No. No No This my friend is a Life Style that we build on and live 24/7/365

Blessings
FCJ
Click to expand...

I agree with you Jim! It seems that what you are describing is more of a phychological problem instead of a spiritual one. One of the things that I have seen over the years is the inability of some to draw the line between spiritual concerns and psychological problems.

Quote.....
"These folks ware their "Feelings and Emotions" on their shirt sleeve.
It's as if they major in offenses or another's words become offended by every little thing around them."

You and I have seen that our whole live I think. We can read Scriptures all day to that person but they are not going to be helpful because it is a mental problem and not a spiritual one.

It reminds me of the TV show where a woman touches the arm of a doctor for 3 seconds and he believes that the woman is in love with him.

As a moderator, you will see that happen over and over and over in your ministry on CFS. I will be praying for you Jim as I know that a lot of people will be reading your comments and advice. Keep up the good work brother!
 
Major
Major said.....It seems that what you are describing is more of a phychological problem instead of a spiritual one. One of the things that I have seen over the years is the inability of some to draw the line between spiritual concerns and psychological problems.

Major I agree that some folks have physiological problems. I also know many people including believers tend to pass Spiritual things off as physiological things far too many times.

They Lack Knowledge and Understanding of the true issue at hand from Not knowing how the enemy works and what the battle of the mind really is........

I will be bringing truth on all that soon and will let you know when and where.

Even so called Christian Physiologist miss the mark far to many times.
Folks end up spending lots and lots of money and go through testing after testing and get no place.

Physiologist at best try to incorporate their thinking and ways into some one. Not the answer needed either.

Strong Holds in the mind are real, controlling and devastating and can lead you down the wrong path. They are mind sets and they are real.

Does not scripture say Take All or Every Thought Captive? Of course it does and why would this be a big deal?

I tell you Major there is more to this then most even think they know. Yes I know not much depth in this reply but truthfully it is enough for now....Just setting the stage with this and several other threads for what is yet to come.

See I found it to be the best way to capture the attention of many and draw them into the upcoming thread.
Blessings
FCJ.
 
Fish Catcher Jim said:
Major
Major said.....It seems that what you are describing is more of a phychological problem instead of a spiritual one. One of the things that I have seen over the years is the inability of some to draw the line between spiritual concerns and psychological problems.

Major I agree that some folks have physiological problems. I also know many people including believers tend to pass Spiritual things off as physiological things far too many times.

They Lack Knowledge and Understanding of the true issue at hand from Not knowing how the enemy works and what the battle of the mind really is........

I will be bringing truth on all that soon and will let you know when and where.

Even so called Christian Physiologist miss the mark far to many times.
Folks end up spending lots and lots of money and go through testing after testing and get no place.

Physiologist at best try to incorporate their thinking and ways into some one. Not the answer needed either.

Strong Holds in the mind are real, controlling and devastating and can lead you down the wrong path. They are mind sets and they are real.

Does not scripture say Take All or Every Thought Captive? Of course it does and why would this be a big deal?

I tell you Major there is more to this then most even think they know. Yes I know not much depth in this reply but truthfully it is enough for now....Just setting the stage with this and several other threads for what is yet to come.

See I found it to be the best way to capture the attention of many and draw them into the upcoming thread.
Blessings
FCJ.
Click to expand...

No argument from me Jim. My only advice would be to be careful to not blame everything on spiritual problems or sin or even a lack of knowledge of Scriptures.

I can not tell you how many people I have known who are truly clinically, mentally challenged or bi-polar and they had no idea of "strong holds" or any other spiritual thought.

A really good Christian phycologist should be able to tell the difference pretty quickly and then proceed to find what would help that person either by counseling or by the proper medication.

.
 
Major said:
No argument from me Jim. My only advice would be to be careful to not blame everything on spiritual problems or sin or even a lack of knowledge of Scriptures.

I can not tell you how many people I have known who are truly clinically, mentally challenged or bi-polar and they had no idea of "strong holds" or any other spiritual thought.

A really good Christian phycologist should be able to tell the difference pretty quickly and then proceed to find what would help that person either by counseling or by the proper medication.

.
Click to expand...

Believe me Major I dont. I know many that truly suffer from mental disabilities.

Blessings My Brother
 
Fish Catcher Jim said:
Believe me Major I dont. I know many that truly suffer from mental disabilities.

Blessings My Brother
Click to expand...

That is all I was cautioning you about brother. I believe exactly as you do about this subject but having taken care of my severely bi-polar mother for 10 years, I was able to see another side of this. She was a dear saint of God but wound up saying and doing things that were not at all her and she was in no way possessed or influenced by Satan. She was just mentally challenged.

Maybe God allowed such a thing to show me what I needed to learn. I really do not know but it certainly did change my mind.

It also convinced me that suicide is not the unpardonable sin. Good meaning Christians do in fact commit suicide because of health, depression, medical interactions and so on.
 
autumn oddity said:
like, I felt like when I was at my grandma's I was taken advantage of ...I feel like bc I'm so nice..people see that as weakness and they'd say things to me they wouldn't to others...

I just hate I'm 25 trying to find find my voice. I feel I'm too old to be shy and quiet...but yah, I need to be more assertive bc I'm tired of people running over me.

thanks fr the advice
Click to expand...
Hi Autumn, Major has given you some wise advice.
There is nothing wrong with being shy...........really.
You are a valid person. There is nothing wrong with being valid, but there are many who will seek to validate themselves by trying to invalidate others.(you)
You probably can't change who you intrinsically are and probably you shouldn't try.
I'm not talking about improving one self, we all should be open to improvement
You are created in the image of God..no less and the darkness in this world tries to oppress and suppress it because in does not truly comprehend.
There are no magic words that can be said.
You have within yourself the resources needed, just keep on believing in your own self worth and I'm sure you will triumph.
 
Major said:
That is all I was cautioning you about brother. I believe exactly as you do about this subject but having taken care of my severely bi-polar mother for 10 years, I was able to see another side of this. She was a dear saint of God but wound up saying and doing things that were not at all her and she was in no way possessed or influenced by Satan. She was just mentally challenged.

Maybe God allowed such a thing to show me what I needed to learn. I really do not know but it certainly did change my mind.

It also convinced me that suicide is not the unpardonable sin. Good meaning Christians do in fact commit suicide because of health, depression, medical interactions and so on.
Click to expand...
I have knowingly come across four people with Bi-polar, how many others that I was unaware of?
There are many other disorders of the brain that can be misunderstood too.
Scripture says very little on the subject of mental disorders....it says nothing of auto mobiles, yet we ride around in them just about every day.
 
Major said:
That is all I was cautioning you about brother. I believe exactly as you do about this subject but having taken care of my severely bi-polar mother for 10 years, I was able to see another side of this. She was a dear saint of God but wound up saying and doing things that were not at all her and she was in no way possessed or influenced by Satan. She was just mentally challenged.

Maybe God allowed such a thing to show me what I needed to learn. I really do not know but it certainly did change my mind.

It also convinced me that suicide is not the unpardonable sin. Good meaning Christians do in fact commit suicide because of health, depression, medical interactions and so on.
Click to expand...
I got almost 14 years in now with a dear sweet friend. Taken care of and befriended several others and became a big brother too. So yes sir I do get it !!

However their are spiritual issues in many who allow the world to claim disorder. Many well meaning folks truly confuse the issue from lack of understanding. I know, I was one.
Blessings and your a good man sir !!
Blessings
FCJ
 
You might enjoy a Toastmasters club.
There are some good ones out there.
Building self confidence in speaking and a place to hear others.
No unlike this site...
 
autumn oddity said:
I think its also good to discern who to be kind to because alot of people can take it as a weakness... And use you... And its your own fault if you let them... So...im gonna be more discerning and wise from now on..concerning some people
Click to expand...

For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.
1 Peter 2:21 NLT
http://bible.com/116/1pe.2.21.NLT

.
And this is his commandment: We must believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as he commanded us. Those who obey God’s commandments remain in fellowship with him, and he with them. And we know he lives in us because the Spirit he gave us lives in us.
1 John 3:23‭-‬24 NLT
http://bible.com/116/1jn.3.23-24.NLT

Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.”
John 14:21 NLT
http://bible.com/116/jhn.14.21.NLT
 
Hi autumn oddity,

After I quoted the verses above, and have been praying.... I feel led to share with you that as you constantly seek God on everything you do...then He will lead and guide you as to what to do and what not to do. For you do have the ability to say no. However in standing up for yourself you have to know if you have the right attitude in your heart and are being obedient to God, or not.

God has many things we are called to do in this life, and it's your job to know where your called to be and what your called to do. Then as you obey His call, then you will have to commit to walking in love as He commands us all to do, and that needs to be implimented even if who or where He has you serving are mean and ugly acting or sweet as pie. For we are all called to do everything we do as we are completing it for Him (Colossians 3:23). For He is the one we serve under, and He us the one who calls us...not people.

Think of a preacher. Is he accountable to God or men? God right...but how many preachers have people in their congregation who give big in the offerings, and then expect the preacher to only preach on topics that they desire. This is wrong in all accounts, and the preacher who is accountable to God only, has to be strong enough to say (in love) no I'm sorry I have to be directed by the Holy Spirit. That member then says well then I'm taking my money elsewhere.....and the pastor has to be secure enough in God as his supplier of finances (and the one who directs the givers to sow seed) to know that as Jesus is the Head of the church...He will provide someone (s) else to make up for what the other member took away or to deal with that member about their arrogance and incorrectness.

This is the correct way to stand up for yourself. Knowing and trusting God to act on your behalf when your walking in love and forgiveness. For we are to leave the disciplining and what not to Him....as the Bible says vengeance is Mine sayeth the Lord.

Blessings
 
Major said:
Your problem is really not a Bible or Christian one but more of a "personality" concern.
Click to expand...

So my dear brother am I seeing your response correctly? That there is an issue in life the Bible does not cover, or that we don't have to search for? Something that Jesus never went through?

Hmmmm, seems to me this answer is contrary to the Word of God then? Doesn't our Bible say that Jesus was tempted in everyway like we are, so that there would be nothing we go through, that He couldn't help us with (Hebrews 4:15).

I do understand wanting to build someone up and encourage them, but when do we base every part of our lives on The Word of God, telling the truth in love, instead of on what the world would say?


But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Love to you and your family.
Blessings
 
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