Beloved, I apologize for this being so long, but I've been praying about how to respond to you since you first posted, and I feel this is what Father wanted me to say.
Dear one, I can understand what you are going through because I too am in a similar situation, back in the '50s it was common practice to remove a child's tonsils and adenoids, well they did okay with the tonsils, but they butchered the adenoid part and that has left me with a very diminished sense of smell, so, to smell something I almost have to inhale whatever I'm smelling through my nose, ...besides that, God has given me the ability (it's a gift) to cook, but because I'm diabetic on insulin I can't eat most of what I cook. That's just a part of the "bad news" in my life, but as it has been stated above, "all things work together for good to those that love God and are called according to His purpose," let me share with you how Father has worked it out, turned it around for good in my life.
I'm a missionary in a third world country, even though the drainage system in the principle city for the rain is underground, there is always the stench of raw sewage flowing through them, on top of that the homeless use the sidewalks for their toilets, so much so that we need to be careful where we walk, not to mention all of the stray dogs running loose, ...now, my wife can smell it, and holds her nose,...but I don't smell a thing, PTL ...secondly, the Lord has supplied me with many opportunities to use the talent He has given me to cook to feed people, it literally blows their minds when we show up with enough food to feed an army (Father also provided us with a small van to transport it all) and tell them, "this is given to them in the love of Jesus Christ, He loves you and sent us here to tell you and feed you," ...so you see dear sis, Father will turn your sufferings around and fashion them into gold, a sweet smelling sacrifice to Him, I encourage you to do as I have learned to do and look at your infirmities in a different light (now that I'm where He wants me to be), ...we have abilities and gifts that most of His "normal" children don't have, it's a "normal" thing for us to offer our bodies a LIVING sacrifice daily, whereas His "normal" kids have to give up something to do it, ...they have to give up, sacrifice something that they have daily, we don't, Father has provided it Himself for us. Selah (think about it)
So you might ask, how do we do this, how do we turn our sufferings into blessings, the Scripture is full of teachings, but for you, to answer your questions and bring you back into fellowship with us, I'm choosing the Song of Solomon 1:1- 8, before going on please read and meditated on these verses, it's a intimate love letter from Jesus to you precious one, please note there is only one King and ONE maiden in the story, His love for you, for me, for us is individual, precise, comforting, directed directly at our hearts, this isn't seed being broadcast in a field, this love letter is to you specifically, as if you were the only person on the planet.
1. Solomon wrote over a thousand songs, but God chose to only record this one for us.
2. Kisses on the mouth are an act of intimacy (the prodigal's father kissed him on the neck), our hearts desire is to have this intimacy, a personal relationship with Jesus that is so close it's like were are actually kissing Him, because our love for Him is so intense, ...personally, I don't look at all of my blessings or infirmities, add them up or count them and then love Him because of what He has given me, no, I love Him for just one reason, because He gave His life for me, if that was all that He has blessed me with, then that alone is my greatest blessing, that alone is enough to cause my heart to turn to Him in love, but it doesn't end there, wine is a type of joy in the Bible and He has given me joy unlimited, my heart bursts with joy unspeakable.
3. We might not be able to smell the choice perfumes, but we can, in our spirits, smell the beauty of His name,
"Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that name, kings and kingdoms will all pass away, but there's something about that name"
In the world, people that loose a sense often times have another of their senses become more perceptive, more acute, like the blind and their sense of touch, ...I believe it's the same with us, I have found He has made me very perceptive to the spiritual things of God, the Lord gives a gift to His children to use in their particular place in the Body, but it seems He has given me many gifts and He uses them daily in my life to manifest His love through them, so you see sis, some people (even ourselves) might say we are handicapped, and yes in the physical world we are, but in the Kingdom of God and what He is doing in the world today we are blessed.
4. Jesus said, "no one comes to the Father unless He draws them," if Father hadn't drawn you, you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be worried about your relationship with God, you would be out doing your own thing in the world, but because you have this concern proves your are one of His children, Jesus your King has brought into His Church.
5-6. To have dark skin when this was written was a curse, women that were lily white were considered the fairest, but she recognized her beauty even though, ...the daughters of Jerusalem are the busy bodies in our lives (they can even be ourselves), those that are always finding fault, critiquing us, criticizing us, the curtains of Solomon were fine linen, pure and white, ...she knew, we know, our beauty is found only in Christ Jesus, it's His righteousness, His blood bestowed on us that cleanses us and makes us whiter than snow.
7. Here the maiden is asking the same question you are asking precious one, ...where are you my King, where do you eat, where are you living, nothing else will satisfy me, ...and as your heart is crying for, as my hearts has also cried out, tell me, where are you, for you and you alone can and will satisfy my longings, can fill my heart, can make me whole and complete.
8. Beloved, in this verse our King has answered our tears, ...follow the steps of the flock, that is, fellowship with other brothers and sisters, let them love on us and we will know He presence through His children, we must be a part of His Church, pray and ask Him to guide you to the body of believers that needs the particular gift you have to edify them and make them complete, ...and then get involved, find a ministry (feed the kids), use the gifts Father has given you, I have found when we are using our gifts to minister to others I don't think about my infirmities, they don't come to mind and when His love is flowing through us and out to others then some of that love just naturally fills us, satisfies us, refreshes us, revitalizes us, ...I find I'm not thinking about me, but rather about how can I serve others.
One final thing to comfort you with and I'll be done, ...in "83 my precious wife prayed specifically, among other things, for an American husband, at that time in my life I was a savage pagan, a brute beast, filthy and defiled, steeped in debauchery, the Lord drew me out of the sess pool of humanity, washed me off, cleaned me up, enlightened me so that in '86 I invited the Lord into my life, to take control of it and to do with it as He pleased, He took me out of my comfort zone and brought me 5000 miles to this tiny little island in the middle of a very big ocean in '91, to where my Eve was waiting and when he had awakened me enough to realize I needed to find my Eve Gen 2:18 I prayed for her to come into my life, it was '94 when He introduced her to me, and it was all of His doing because we were on two different islands, and we married in the Lord in '95, so princess, pray for your Adam, he is somewhere, maybe he's like I was and needs a lot of preparation before Father can present you to him.
So what I'm saying is, what you can see He has done with a wretch like me and my life, ... give Him your life unconditionally, with all of the defects and faults and watch how He will make something beautiful out of it in His timing, ...this is what my pastor gave me when I was in turmoil about my life, searching for God, so may I pass it on to you, ..Godliness with contentment is great gain.
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
Nothing, nothing is to difficult for our God, the Lord Jesus Christ!
In His Love, your brother in Christ,
Gene
I don't want to bring bad things to this nice place
