I feel hopeless. I pray seek GOD. But I get nothing. He seems to be ignoring me or just doesn't care about me or he doesn't exist.
I lost two of my senses two years ago.. Taste and smell. I tried everything. I prayed, I got surgery, I took meds, I got shots and prayed and still nothing.
Perhaps this would help. Where we live, there’s a huge problem: the tramp dogs. Recently some of these dogs, left freely on the streets, took away a small child into the bushes and mutilated him and then killed him. All that under the mother’s eyes. The authorities chose to bury the case (why to solve problems when they can simply ignore them?), despite (a rather limited) public outrage. In other words, the dogs are still free on the streets, ready to kill others.
A few months ago my wife was bitten severely by one of these dogs; he took away quite a bit of flesh from her leg.
I have to tell you something: I’m rather small as Christian. Despite being a Christian (more or less) for two decades now, I have barely taken a few steps on the road. In spite of many miracles, miracles that God has done for me personally (including giving me the English language, which is not my native language), I haven’t gone beyond the point of feeling God in my heart (something that He promised in the Bible). That is, feeling warm and good in my heart whenever I do what’s supposed for me to do, and feeling a (rather small but concrete) pain or emptiness in my heart whenever I sin (nothing like a heart attack, but it hurts nevertheless. By the way, after each time that I consciously sin, I immediately check my heart to see if God is still there, or had left me to my depraved choosing).
Much beyond me, my wife has a consistent, fruit-bearer relationship with God. To put it plainly, not only she walks with God but God walks with her. Not only she talks with God as I talk to you, but God Himself talks to her as any two people talk to each other. He even tells her to go to the door because a friend is coming (and He states the name of that friend). And indeed, a few seconds later we hear the door bell.
I know it’s hard to believe, but trust me, I’m not crazy. The Biblical God is not a theoretical God, is a real, participative, God. And this can only bring many miracles in her life. The smallest ones are finding money to give to beggars or homeless, while fully aware that her pockets were actually empty prior to that (our pockets are almost always empty, by the way; in the latter years we have always had to struggle with material needs; but there’s good in that too: we don’t really have to ask what to eat each day; we only eat what we afford to eat).
Now, to come back to my wife. Of course, she stayed calm (although with tears in her eyes at moments, because of pain). She asked God if she will be OK. She said to me that God told her that she will. Nevertheless, we went to the hospital for the vaccination (it could have been a mad dog) and treatment of the wound.
(There we had to wait for many hours – there were so many people, including kids and old persons, all bitten by community dogs. And there was a TV monitor showing medical advices all along. Such as “Show your rage - it is healthy!”. All coming from the ministry of health. A secular world indeed, far away from God.)
After vaccination, we were required to go to a different hospital for the treatment of the wound. There, the 2 doctors at the emergency said that she’s required to stay in the hospital for further treatment of the wound, otherwise it’s likely she would lose the leg.
You have to imagine what’s happening in an emergency section of a hospital: people rushing in, talking loud, everyone moving around. Not quite a quiet pace to talk to God. Regardless, I asked her to ask God what to do: stay or not in the hospital. Since at the time we were both unemployed, staying would mean a cost that we couldn’t afford. She tried to talk to God, but she couldn’t. It was either the noise in the hospital, or that those 2 doctors put the fear into her. Having seen that, I myself took the decision. I remember that He told her she will be OK from the beginning. And I decided that we will go with God, instead of those doctors. So we thanked for the emergency treatment and left. The 2 doctors, and also some assistants, tried to stop us, threatening once again that my wife will lose her leg if she doesn’t stay in the hospital for several days.
(By the way, I think it was the only case in our lives that I showed more faith than my wife.)
We, nevertheless, left. Now we had another problem. Obviously, my wife could barely walk. It was already very late into the night and we were many kilometers from our home. We tried to check for some potential night buses – none available. I tried to negotiate with some taxi drivers for them to accept payment several days later – none of them accepted.
So we took it slowly towards our home. I was quite worried as to how are we to make it home, if we walked so slowly. It would probably take us 10 hours or so. Moreover, painful, as she showed pain on her face at each step. I tried to talk about that, and suggested that we should probably wait on a bench somewhere until morning, but she told me that we’re going to be OK. And she smiled. Now that she wasn’t worried, I wasn’t worried either, so along we went. And indeed, only 100 meters away, there was a couple that went out of a building and into their car. I went to them and kindly asked them to carry for how long we have a common road, but he refused. However, having seen me returning to my wife that could barely walk, he called me back and said that they will take us.
Getting into the car was very painful for my wife, because of the leg. It took us more than 5 minutes to manage to get into the car. Later, even hitting a hole in the road was very painful for her - I could see it on her face.
They asked us where exactly we are going. Towards the way there, I expected at any moment for them to stop and say “that’s it, we could only took you so far”, and then to go on their way, but that didn’t happen. So they left us exactly at our home – a costly road for them since I found out that their destination actually was in a very different direction.
I couldn’t believe the miracle that just occurred. But somehow I regained speech and thanked them and told them that, even for this single deed, they have a huge treasure in Heaven. So we were shown, again, that God doesn’t forget His people.
But the core of this account is what happened in the hospital: choosing to believe God or the medical doctors. We chose God and my wife quickly recovered. She now walks as if nothing happened.
Now imagine that it wasn’t about a leg. That in fact it was about life and death. What would we choose? I know it’s hard to make such decisions (it’s one of the reasons I’m not that far into the Christian way). I know it’s hard to choose God when a team of doctors warn you otherwise. But I think it’s important for us to answer that question before we actually get into such situation. And I think the answer to such questions is actually the barometer of our faith.
True, if we don’t have a strong personal relationship with God, expecting miracles each time dangerously borders tempting God. Which is a serious sin. So this is not for those faint in faith. This is only for those who already took a few solid steps into Christianity.
Another example, this time of me personally. And not how Christian I was, but how unChristian I was. Several years ago (about 17, I think) I fell from several floors and broke both my heels. After operation I stayed for several months in the hospital, and then further many months at home recovering. Both my legs were covered in some kind of metallic structure, up to the knee. I used to crawl (which was not only painful but also difficult, since there were so many metallic things going into my legs, from bottom down throughout up to my knee) to the balcony and look down to people that could walk.
And something happened: I realized that the most precious things in life are the free ones, not the ones that you pay for. For example the air that you breath, and the fact that you can walk.
Ironically, we only realize that once we lose those things. One that’s drowning doesn’t care about all the gold in the world, or about billions of dollars; wouldn’t care about having a villa at the seaside, or more shoes or cars, or even a private jet. He or she may have cared deeply about all those before, but at that particular moment there’s only one thing that he or she wants: air. And that’s completely free, nothing to pay for it.
So there I am, on the balcony, watching the people on the street that can walk and profoundly envying them. And I promised to myself that if I walk again I will never forget that.
Well, I did get to walk again. And run and play football (soccer) with kids (including mine) in the park. And proudly calling myself the best player on the pitch (talk about pride!). Moreover, I and my wife took it upon ourselves to traverse one difficult mountain chain and then return back home – all during the same day (in about 10 hours, including a 200 kilometers road to those mountains from home - a 400 km total). Trust me, not many people can do that. Let alone people with both legs operated, like myself. But we did that, and of course we were again so proud of ourselves (we were still only beginners into Christianity at that time). Since that, I talked to some mountaineers (granted, not those that climb Everest) and they have all acclaimed our performance, so we indeed had a solid reason to be proud. Or did we?
Because of course I forgot that promise. It took me some time to remember it. It’s ironic that we only remember about God when we’re hurt. When all goes well, we are so proud of ourselves, and God is not even worth mentioning. When all goes bad, then suddenly only God is at fault. I mean, it wouldn’t be us, would it? No, we can only do good – never bad. And God can only do bad – never good. How deluded we are, to turn the situation completely upside down.
Now when I pray each night there is a section containing this:
“Thank you God for the endless things that you do for us each day. The things that we do know about (so few, please forgive us - for not knowing them all), and the things that we don’t know about (so many, please forgive us - for not knowing them at all). And foremost, thank you so much for the true measure of your infinite, Jesus Christ.”
To conclude somewhat your case, think about this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Vujicic
We all should. Especially those of us who can walk and who have hands. We should really try to ask ourselves what we would do if in a similar case. As a barometer of our faith. Not to delude ourselves into thinking that we are what in fact we aren’t: Christians.
I DON'T CARE about an afterlife I want to live now I want some happiness now!
I think you have a wrong idea about what being a Christian is. I can tell you this: it’s NEVER about this world, it is ALWAYS about the next world. The eternal world.
That’s what being a Christian (following Jesus) is all about.
Think about what Jesus did: He didn’t just heal people. He forgave people, and their healing came as a consequence.
So it looks your problem is not physical, nor psychological, but, as you admitted from the start, spiritual. Only that you wrongly thought that your spiritual problems are the consequence of your physical problems, while I think it’s the other way around.
But that doesn’t mean that once you settled your spiritual problem, the physical problems would automatically go away. They may, or they may not. Perhaps there is more in the store that God wants you to understand.
And a further warning: they may not be ALL the physical problems coming your way. Therefore Christians should never judge the next life by this life. They, WE, should always consider only the next life, the true life, the eternal life, the life with God. That way, whatever happens to us in this physical life will not greatly affect us - perhaps not even surprise us.
And speaking of Jesus (which we should do), remember that He wasn’t crowned by this world, He instead was insulted, tortured and finally killed. So if we call ourselves followers of Christ, that’s what’s expected from us - it doesn’t matter whether we like it or not, or whether we agree or not. That’s how it is.
So those missionaries getting tortured and killed in Africa and Asia now, they are indeed Christians (there were quite a few of them killed in the time it took me to write this post).
While I, searching the Internet on a computer, eating at a table, sleeping in a bed (let alone indulging myself into sinning) - I am not. I only delude myself to think that I am. It doesn’t matter that I don’t like that conclusion. That’s how it is. God’s mercy would have to be truly infinite to let me into Heaven.
True, while I’m not a Christian example, I have neither killed anybody. Nor robbed anybody. But that doesn’t mean anything. If all I can show at Heaven’s gate are the bad things that I didn’t do, then I’ll be rightfully asked: if you call yourself a Christian, where are the fruits of the Holy Spirit? And I have no fruits to show.
As Hovind put it, imagine that a criminal would tell this to the judge: your honor, it’s true that I killed that one person, but look at the world - it’s full of people that I didn’t kill. Would the criminal walk away, untouched by the law? No. Not even in this world. The corrupted world that we live in.
True, I let old people have my seat. And I carry their baggage. And many such small things. But I’m not called, as a Christian, to give away a few minutes of my life. I am instead called to give EACH AND EVERY moment of my life. To others. To be precise, to others through Christ. Thus fulfilling the 2 commandments I have as a Christian: to love God and to love the people.
losing your sense of taste and smell is supposed to have something good in it?
As I said above, is not what that thing (or any other) is in itself, but how you react to it. Think about Job.
If God has mercy and stuff why are there so many sick and starving children and people in the world. Why do kids die from Cancer. Or people parents die from cancer or family members who pray for them and they die. Why doesn't God help them.
He does - but His hands are almost tied. Because He still respects our free will. They (we) wanted a world without God? They (we) have a world without God. So why do we complain about that?
Suffering and death is a measure of a world without God, not of a world with God.
You would probably ask: but then how about the believers? Why do they suffer? But again, for believers it’s not about this world, it’s always about the next world.
So remember: this world is not God’s world. It’s, instead, our world. That is, what mankind, as people choosing to be without God, did to God’s world, to God’s Creation.
Not being able to smell flowers, perfume, food, rain...not being able to taste anything desserts....cake..thanksgiving, christmas dinner IS NOT A BLESSING ITS HELL
Trust me, you know nothing about hell. No human does. Not even Vujicic knows anything about hell. However, he chose to win over that (rather insignificant) “hell” that he’s into. Therefore, not surprising, he’s indeed winning - being thus an example even to people that can walk and that have hands. Bravo to Vujicic, and woe to me. Because I’m not an example to anybody. Hence my screen name.