I'm Losing My Faith In God And I'm Really Scared.

WONDERFUL! Did you know that every Christian has times when they feel God pull away leaving them feeling lost and alone? These are times God uses to test us and strengthen us. Don't give up...He's still there, offering you an opportunity to strengthen your faith and your walk with Him. Hang in there, kiddo! You can do this, with His help!
Hello changingmyself.
I am sorry to hear of your problem. Maybe it will encourage you if you read Job´s life.
Do not let the enemy lead you to blame God´s absense to your prayers. He hears all his children´s prayers but his answers may not be in our time. He may have others plans or purposes we dont know at the moment. As christians we are asked to have faith and to accept God´s will in everything. I have problems with my kidneys and soon will have to have dyalisis. Have problems with my leg(broke it 3 times in 3 diferent places) and find it difficult to walk sometimes. Who is free from pain or illness?. But my situation is helping me to thank God more than if I was totally healthy.
Just praise the Lord my sister. Noone is free from sickness. Accept what you have but pray to the Lord that if it is His will to cure you. Meanwhile leave it in His hands and keep on praising Him like Job did. He loves you. Julio
If God has mercy and stuff why are there so many sick and starving children and people in the world. Why do kids die from Cancer. Or people parents die from cancer or family members who pray for them and they die. Why doesn't God help them.
All people will die, eventually.
Thus, i think what matters is not how we die.... it is how we live....

related thoughts comes to mind:
Matthew 10:39
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ahhh ok, you are referring to then to the "Problem of Evil"....

it is one of the favorite case of people trying to explain God.....

sorry... it is not a problem to me.... seriously.... it will be long story but it is not a problem to me.....
whats not a problem to you? I don't get it. I just question if God has a plan for us why are so many people suffering? It makes my prayers seem insignificant...If I'm praying for help with regaining my taste and smell and with my finances etc trying to work on my life why should he answer my prayers if someones child has cancer and they are dying and they are praying for the child to live and their prayers arent even answered. Makes no sense to me.
I think we all struggle with 'why' and it often leads to either a lack, loss or rejection of faith.

Even worse is the not knowing everything.

These points are from our God given human rationalization-the fact is we can't rationalize the actions of God, it is folly.

I too struggle in my faith with this; and then I am reminded that a soul-especially a child's soul; is left better off in the hands of God than the world. I have come to the very painful conclusion that many of our ills come from the fact the the 'Body of Christ' AKA: the True Church; just isn't doing it's job in worshiping, praying, fasting, reading the Bible, meditating on the Word, fellowshipping with believers, providing good counsel and most importantly serving the lost and preaching the Gospel.

The Church-we Christians should be moving mountains-if we have the faith of a mustard seed.....
The problem is that we see things from a flawed perspective, where God sees the perfect. We have pain and suffering and death because of Adam and Eve's sin in the Garden of Eden. God created a perfect world, very much like what you envision, but man listened to Satan and disobeyed God, which broke fellowship with Him. God placed on mankind a curse that has several parts, one of which is that we would suffer in this life, which is what you are experiencing today. Our suffering is not only physical, but emotional and spiritual as well. The only way to overcome this curse is to submit to God's will through Jesus Christ. That means relinquishing our will, our desires, our yearnings, for whatever God decides to do with us. We have to be willing to say "Lord, I am trusting you to do with me whatever is best in YOUR eyes, and am trying to let go of my wants. Help me, Lord, to have faith strong enough to accept the role in life You give me, even if it means pain, disfigurement, isolation and loneliness, or if it means living in discomfort. I am Yours to do with as You see fit, and I thank you for what you are about to do in my life." When we do that, God is given freedom to do what He desires. You see, God may be wanting to use you to help others who are suffering with a lack of taste and smell and with depression. When y0u look at life as no longer yours,. but His, then it is easier to accept our circumstances. The thing is, you will never find the peace you desire until you are willing to surrender your will to following Jesus no matter what may come. No matter how well you know the Bible, no matter how much you 'believe' in God, He sees your heart and searches for that total and sincere surrender.
whats not a problem to you? I don't get it. I just question if God has a plan for us why are so many people suffering? It makes my prayers seem insignificant...If I'm praying for help with regaining my taste and smell and with my finances etc trying to work on my life why should he answer my prayers if someones child has cancer and they are dying and they are praying for the child to live and their prayers aren't even answered. Makes no sense to me.

I have read your posts and other peoples too...sadly they are not giving you what you need. What you need is to hear the word of God... So lets read some of it:

Mat 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

Luk 16:25 But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.

Luk 6:24 But woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation.
Luk 6:25 Woe unto you that are full! for ye shall hunger. Woe unto you that laugh now! for ye shall mourn and weep.

Luk 10:33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,
Luk 10:34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.
Luk 10:35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.
Luk 10:36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?
Luk 10:37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

Mat 25:39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
Mat 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Perhaps God is using you to reach others in a way you do not yet understand...but it may require you to be stronger than you ever have before. Remember, your faith does not stand in your own power- but in God's power.

2Co 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2Co 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Php 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
Php 4:12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

1Pe 5:10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.

2Co 1:3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
2Co 1:4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

God's grace gives us comfort, strength, discernment, and peace even in the toughest of times.The question is, have you received grace? Without grace-the power of God within you, you cannot go through life with any measure of comfort or strength. You cannot overcome temptation, anguish, tribulation, or any other thing the Devil throws at you. What you are going through is a spiritual battle. It has zero to do with your flesh. Satan is trying to get you to walk away from God. It could also be that the Lord is trying to send you a message that you have not really repented or perhaps He is teaching you and preparing you for something:

Tit 2:11 For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men,
Tit 2:12 Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;

It may be that God has called you to remain unmarried for a season for His purpose. Maybe God wants you for some reason that you are not yet aware of. You can choose to seek God and get strength during this time or waiver in whether or not He is real. An easy life with money and food is not necessarily a walk with God. Look at the countries outside of the United States. Many Christians are being beaten, killed, imprisoned, and tortured just for confessing His name. Others live in houses with no running water and dirt floors...eating rice and beans that have no flavor. The flesh that your spirit lives in is temporary. A life with God will be forever. Sometimes we need perspective in what we 'think' are bad times. There was a time in my life( not long ago) where I had no food(having no food tends to change your perspective on taste...) I had no car, no money, no where to live, had lost two businesses and all my 'friends'. Through that experience my faith could have disappeared, but instead it grew. I came to know the Love of God- not through material items and fleshy desires, but understanding the power of grace and forgiveness for what I had done against Him. The fact is, He called me away from a life that I wanted (that was at enmity with Him)and gave me a life and purpose that He wanted for me.( and pleasing to Him) A life with Him is free, but you have to let go of the old, in order to receive the new and far better. Sometimes that correction isn't easy...

Heb 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
Heb 12:12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;
Heb 12:13 And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

If you are really born again, your life is already dead to the world and the flesh;

Col 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
Col 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

Go to God and immerse yourself in His word- seek out His grace:

2Pe 1:2 Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord,
2Pe 1:3 According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:
2Pe 1:4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

The word of God will do more for you than any teaching or words of men. The word of God is food for your spirit- I am guessing that you are starving spiritually because you are not in the word of God enough to keep you spiritually nourished. He speaks to us through His word and He is able to mend our broken heart and spirit through it. Go to the throne of grace:

Heb 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Don't worry about the 'cares' of this temporary life, there is a promise of an eternal one- go seek after it with all your heart:

Joe 2:12 Therefore also now, saith the LORD, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning:
Joe 2:13 And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the LORD your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil.

You must first go break yourself on the Rock that is Christ and let Him build you back up His way. I suspect that you are in that place right now...God is calling- but will you answer Him with your mouth or with your heart? Your heart is what He is after. Just humble yourself and go to Him- and give ALL of your heart and life to Him...

Psa 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Psa 40:1 To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David. I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
Psa 40:2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
Psa 40:3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.

God Bless,
Those who have infirmities and ailments are a blessing...because we need them. How can we show our love for humanity and be Samaritans without folks in your condition...You may be suffering now, but great will be your reward in Heaven so just ask for grace to get you through... GOD IS FAITHFUL!

Not being able to smell flowers, perfume, food, rain...not being able to taste anything desserts....cake..thanksgiving, christmas dinner IS NOT A BLESSING ITS HELL
That is not Hell- What will be Hell is being separated from God forever, and knowing it didn't have to be that way...

I do not doubt that your condition is very tough...but you can still feel with your hands. see with your eyes, run with your legs, and do many other things that the blind, deaf, paralyzed, etc cant... Most of all, you can still love others with your heart- which is really all that God asks of us in this life. If you let the Lord get your heart where He wants it... You will receive far greater joy in this world than being able to taste food or smell a flower- you will taste the kingdom of God and smell the aloes of Eternal life. He can give you a peace that no physical or material item ever will...

Questions; Are you lacking faith because you cant smell or taste...or because you don't feel the Love of God?

Do you think that your inability to smell a flower or eat a piece of cake is what is hindering your life?

The fact is...until you you are in the Lord's grace, you won't be prepared for whatever blessings He may want to bring upon your life. Nothing will be where it needs to until you have set your face towards Him who sits upon the throne. Go to His word and take of the water of life freely...Let Jesus heal your broken heart first and then everything else will fall into place...

whats not a problem to you? I don't get it.
“problem of evil’ was coined by Agnostics/ Atheist vs. Apologetics debate to facilitate discussion…
It summarizes what you are saying: suffering, dying, why bad things happen… etc.

Sorry I did not mean to be insensitive….
But it is not really a problem…
Only people who likes to complain a lot, it becomes a problem….
Not being able to smell flowers, perfume, food, rain...not being able to taste anything desserts....cake..thanksgiving, christmas dinner IS NOT A BLESSING ITS HELL
That is hell already?
What more of those homeless?
Without basic needs of food, shelter and clothing?
Just another day for you and me, it means paradise to them....

There are lot of people who need more of our help, our help… seems we are not helping enough as Phil Collins is saying…..

Phil Collins – Another Day In Paradise

She calls out to the man on the street
'Sir, can you help me? It's cold and I've nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me?'
He walks on, doesn't look back
He pretends he can't hear her
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there

Oh think twice, it's another day for you and me in paradise
Oh think twice, 'cause it's just another day for you,
You and me in paradise, think about it

She calls out to the man on the street
He can see she's been crying
She's got blisters on the soles of her feet
She can't walk but she's trying

Oh think twice, 'cause it's another day for you and me in paradise
Oh think twice, it's just another day for you,
You and me in paradise, think about it
Oh Lord, is there nothing more anybody can do
Oh Lord, there must be something you can say

You can tell from the lines on her face
You can see that she's been there
Probably been moved on from every place
Cause she didn't fit in there

Oh think twice, 'cause another day for you and me in paradise
Oh think twice, it's just another day for you,
You and me in paradise, just think about it, think about it

It's just another day for you and me in paradise
It's just another day for you and me in paradise, paradise
It's just another day for you and me in paradise
It's just another day for you and me in paradise, paradise
It's just another day for you and me
It's just another day for you and me
It's just another day for you and me in paradise
In paradise
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You can't change the will of God. You're trying to change the will of God through prayer and when your prayers don't work you get upset. If you would understand that you cannot change the will of God in the first place then you would have no reason to be upset with God. It's quite obvious that God does not will that everyone is free from pain or that sinners suffer pain in accordance with how much they sin. Suffering is simply a part of life. The best thing to do is simply accept that suffering is a part of life and then try to reconcile yourself to that fact. Take myself for example, I'm 36 years old, and I decided to give up premarital sex 11 years and in that time I've been rejected by 100s of women and none of them care about my dedication to chastity. I also speak 11 languages but I still make just $11 an hour. I am not upset in the least. I focus on what God has given me not on what God has not given me. I do not try to change the will of God but I cheerfully accept God's will no matter what it is. For this reason I'm happy.
I feel hopeless. I pray seek GOD. But I get nothing. He seems to be ignoring me or just doesn't care about me or he doesn't exist.

I lost two of my senses two years ago.. Taste and smell. I tried everything. I prayed, I got surgery, I took meds, I got shots and prayed and still nothing.

Perhaps this would help. Where we live, there’s a huge problem: the tramp dogs. Recently some of these dogs, left freely on the streets, took away a small child into the bushes and mutilated him and then killed him. All that under the mother’s eyes. The authorities chose to bury the case (why to solve problems when they can simply ignore them?), despite (a rather limited) public outrage. In other words, the dogs are still free on the streets, ready to kill others.

A few months ago my wife was bitten severely by one of these dogs; he took away quite a bit of flesh from her leg.

I have to tell you something: I’m rather small as Christian. Despite being a Christian (more or less) for two decades now, I have barely taken a few steps on the road. In spite of many miracles, miracles that God has done for me personally (including giving me the English language, which is not my native language), I haven’t gone beyond the point of feeling God in my heart (something that He promised in the Bible). That is, feeling warm and good in my heart whenever I do what’s supposed for me to do, and feeling a (rather small but concrete) pain or emptiness in my heart whenever I sin (nothing like a heart attack, but it hurts nevertheless. By the way, after each time that I consciously sin, I immediately check my heart to see if God is still there, or had left me to my depraved choosing).

Much beyond me, my wife has a consistent, fruit-bearer relationship with God. To put it plainly, not only she walks with God but God walks with her. Not only she talks with God as I talk to you, but God Himself talks to her as any two people talk to each other. He even tells her to go to the door because a friend is coming (and He states the name of that friend). And indeed, a few seconds later we hear the door bell.

I know it’s hard to believe, but trust me, I’m not crazy. The Biblical God is not a theoretical God, is a real, participative, God. And this can only bring many miracles in her life. The smallest ones are finding money to give to beggars or homeless, while fully aware that her pockets were actually empty prior to that (our pockets are almost always empty, by the way; in the latter years we have always had to struggle with material needs; but there’s good in that too: we don’t really have to ask what to eat each day; we only eat what we afford to eat).

Now, to come back to my wife. Of course, she stayed calm (although with tears in her eyes at moments, because of pain). She asked God if she will be OK. She said to me that God told her that she will. Nevertheless, we went to the hospital for the vaccination (it could have been a mad dog) and treatment of the wound.

(There we had to wait for many hours – there were so many people, including kids and old persons, all bitten by community dogs. And there was a TV monitor showing medical advices all along. Such as “Show your rage - it is healthy!”. All coming from the ministry of health. A secular world indeed, far away from God.)

After vaccination, we were required to go to a different hospital for the treatment of the wound. There, the 2 doctors at the emergency said that she’s required to stay in the hospital for further treatment of the wound, otherwise it’s likely she would lose the leg.

You have to imagine what’s happening in an emergency section of a hospital: people rushing in, talking loud, everyone moving around. Not quite a quiet pace to talk to God. Regardless, I asked her to ask God what to do: stay or not in the hospital. Since at the time we were both unemployed, staying would mean a cost that we couldn’t afford. She tried to talk to God, but she couldn’t. It was either the noise in the hospital, or that those 2 doctors put the fear into her. Having seen that, I myself took the decision. I remember that He told her she will be OK from the beginning. And I decided that we will go with God, instead of those doctors. So we thanked for the emergency treatment and left. The 2 doctors, and also some assistants, tried to stop us, threatening once again that my wife will lose her leg if she doesn’t stay in the hospital for several days.

(By the way, I think it was the only case in our lives that I showed more faith than my wife.)

We, nevertheless, left. Now we had another problem. Obviously, my wife could barely walk. It was already very late into the night and we were many kilometers from our home. We tried to check for some potential night buses – none available. I tried to negotiate with some taxi drivers for them to accept payment several days later – none of them accepted.

So we took it slowly towards our home. I was quite worried as to how are we to make it home, if we walked so slowly. It would probably take us 10 hours or so. Moreover, painful, as she showed pain on her face at each step. I tried to talk about that, and suggested that we should probably wait on a bench somewhere until morning, but she told me that we’re going to be OK. And she smiled. Now that she wasn’t worried, I wasn’t worried either, so along we went. And indeed, only 100 meters away, there was a couple that went out of a building and into their car. I went to them and kindly asked them to carry for how long we have a common road, but he refused. However, having seen me returning to my wife that could barely walk, he called me back and said that they will take us.

Getting into the car was very painful for my wife, because of the leg. It took us more than 5 minutes to manage to get into the car. Later, even hitting a hole in the road was very painful for her - I could see it on her face.

They asked us where exactly we are going. Towards the way there, I expected at any moment for them to stop and say “that’s it, we could only took you so far”, and then to go on their way, but that didn’t happen. So they left us exactly at our home – a costly road for them since I found out that their destination actually was in a very different direction.

I couldn’t believe the miracle that just occurred. But somehow I regained speech and thanked them and told them that, even for this single deed, they have a huge treasure in Heaven. So we were shown, again, that God doesn’t forget His people.

But the core of this account is what happened in the hospital: choosing to believe God or the medical doctors. We chose God and my wife quickly recovered. She now walks as if nothing happened.

Now imagine that it wasn’t about a leg. That in fact it was about life and death. What would we choose? I know it’s hard to make such decisions (it’s one of the reasons I’m not that far into the Christian way). I know it’s hard to choose God when a team of doctors warn you otherwise. But I think it’s important for us to answer that question before we actually get into such situation. And I think the answer to such questions is actually the barometer of our faith.

True, if we don’t have a strong personal relationship with God, expecting miracles each time dangerously borders tempting God. Which is a serious sin. So this is not for those faint in faith. This is only for those who already took a few solid steps into Christianity.

Another example, this time of me personally. And not how Christian I was, but how unChristian I was. Several years ago (about 17, I think) I fell from several floors and broke both my heels. After operation I stayed for several months in the hospital, and then further many months at home recovering. Both my legs were covered in some kind of metallic structure, up to the knee. I used to crawl (which was not only painful but also difficult, since there were so many metallic things going into my legs, from bottom down throughout up to my knee) to the balcony and look down to people that could walk.

And something happened: I realized that the most precious things in life are the free ones, not the ones that you pay for. For example the air that you breath, and the fact that you can walk.

Ironically, we only realize that once we lose those things. One that’s drowning doesn’t care about all the gold in the world, or about billions of dollars; wouldn’t care about having a villa at the seaside, or more shoes or cars, or even a private jet. He or she may have cared deeply about all those before, but at that particular moment there’s only one thing that he or she wants: air. And that’s completely free, nothing to pay for it.

So there I am, on the balcony, watching the people on the street that can walk and profoundly envying them. And I promised to myself that if I walk again I will never forget that.

Well, I did get to walk again. And run and play football (soccer) with kids (including mine) in the park. And proudly calling myself the best player on the pitch (talk about pride!). Moreover, I and my wife took it upon ourselves to traverse one difficult mountain chain and then return back home – all during the same day (in about 10 hours, including a 200 kilometers road to those mountains from home - a 400 km total). Trust me, not many people can do that. Let alone people with both legs operated, like myself. But we did that, and of course we were again so proud of ourselves (we were still only beginners into Christianity at that time). Since that, I talked to some mountaineers (granted, not those that climb Everest) and they have all acclaimed our performance, so we indeed had a solid reason to be proud. Or did we?

Because of course I forgot that promise. It took me some time to remember it. It’s ironic that we only remember about God when we’re hurt. When all goes well, we are so proud of ourselves, and God is not even worth mentioning. When all goes bad, then suddenly only God is at fault. I mean, it wouldn’t be us, would it? No, we can only do good – never bad. And God can only do bad – never good. How deluded we are, to turn the situation completely upside down.

Now when I pray each night there is a section containing this:

“Thank you God for the endless things that you do for us each day. The things that we do know about (so few, please forgive us - for not knowing them all), and the things that we don’t know about (so many, please forgive us - for not knowing them at all). And foremost, thank you so much for the true measure of your infinite, Jesus Christ.”

To conclude somewhat your case, think about this:


We all should. Especially those of us who can walk and who have hands. We should really try to ask ourselves what we would do if in a similar case. As a barometer of our faith. Not to delude ourselves into thinking that we are what in fact we aren’t: Christians.

I DON'T CARE about an afterlife I want to live now I want some happiness now!

I think you have a wrong idea about what being a Christian is. I can tell you this: it’s NEVER about this world, it is ALWAYS about the next world. The eternal world.

That’s what being a Christian (following Jesus) is all about.

Think about what Jesus did: He didn’t just heal people. He forgave people, and their healing came as a consequence.

So it looks your problem is not physical, nor psychological, but, as you admitted from the start, spiritual. Only that you wrongly thought that your spiritual problems are the consequence of your physical problems, while I think it’s the other way around.

But that doesn’t mean that once you settled your spiritual problem, the physical problems would automatically go away. They may, or they may not. Perhaps there is more in the store that God wants you to understand.

And a further warning: they may not be ALL the physical problems coming your way. Therefore Christians should never judge the next life by this life. They, WE, should always consider only the next life, the true life, the eternal life, the life with God. That way, whatever happens to us in this physical life will not greatly affect us - perhaps not even surprise us.

And speaking of Jesus (which we should do), remember that He wasn’t crowned by this world, He instead was insulted, tortured and finally killed. So if we call ourselves followers of Christ, that’s what’s expected from us - it doesn’t matter whether we like it or not, or whether we agree or not. That’s how it is.

So those missionaries getting tortured and killed in Africa and Asia now, they are indeed Christians (there were quite a few of them killed in the time it took me to write this post).

While I, searching the Internet on a computer, eating at a table, sleeping in a bed (let alone indulging myself into sinning) - I am not. I only delude myself to think that I am. It doesn’t matter that I don’t like that conclusion. That’s how it is. God’s mercy would have to be truly infinite to let me into Heaven.

True, while I’m not a Christian example, I have neither killed anybody. Nor robbed anybody. But that doesn’t mean anything. If all I can show at Heaven’s gate are the bad things that I didn’t do, then I’ll be rightfully asked: if you call yourself a Christian, where are the fruits of the Holy Spirit? And I have no fruits to show.

As Hovind put it, imagine that a criminal would tell this to the judge: your honor, it’s true that I killed that one person, but look at the world - it’s full of people that I didn’t kill. Would the criminal walk away, untouched by the law? No. Not even in this world. The corrupted world that we live in.

True, I let old people have my seat. And I carry their baggage. And many such small things. But I’m not called, as a Christian, to give away a few minutes of my life. I am instead called to give EACH AND EVERY moment of my life. To others. To be precise, to others through Christ. Thus fulfilling the 2 commandments I have as a Christian: to love God and to love the people.

losing your sense of taste and smell is supposed to have something good in it?

As I said above, is not what that thing (or any other) is in itself, but how you react to it. Think about Job.

If God has mercy and stuff why are there so many sick and starving children and people in the world. Why do kids die from Cancer. Or people parents die from cancer or family members who pray for them and they die. Why doesn't God help them.

He does - but His hands are almost tied. Because He still respects our free will. They (we) wanted a world without God? They (we) have a world without God. So why do we complain about that?

Suffering and death is a measure of a world without God, not of a world with God.

You would probably ask: but then how about the believers? Why do they suffer? But again, for believers it’s not about this world, it’s always about the next world.

So remember: this world is not God’s world. It’s, instead, our world. That is, what mankind, as people choosing to be without God, did to God’s world, to God’s Creation.

Not being able to smell flowers, perfume, food, rain...not being able to taste anything desserts....cake..thanksgiving, christmas dinner IS NOT A BLESSING ITS HELL

Trust me, you know nothing about hell. No human does. Not even Vujicic knows anything about hell. However, he chose to win over that (rather insignificant) “hell” that he’s into. Therefore, not surprising, he’s indeed winning - being thus an example even to people that can walk and that have hands. Bravo to Vujicic, and woe to me. Because I’m not an example to anybody. Hence my screen name.
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I'm not psychologist, but it sounds to me like that's what it is. You're depressed to a significant degree, and this may be an ailment you can't just snap yourself out of.

Kurt, I don’t want to offend you, but that’s the very point ChangingMyself came to a Christian forum for: to be offered Christian advice, not secular advice.

In times like these we have to hold onto the promise of Romans 8:28: all things work together for good

Indeed, that’s what we Christians often forget: that ALL that we have been through works together for good. That doesn’t mean that it is good, but that it works for good.

Thank you for making this point, I think the most important in such cases when we feel down.