guess it's my turn to "fess up" now since Robin did and share with ya'll what I am going through. I wrote what's below to Fluffy in a pm because I didn't think I wanted anyone else to know, but I felt in need of prayer. I'd even asked someone a while back if I had to go through what it seemed everyone else on this forum has gone through because I couldn't imagine ever being down again since I met Jesus. But, guess what . . .
"But, Oh, well. I'm going through a lot of "stuff" right now I guess. Been feeling kinda lost lately. I never thougt I'd get discouraged like I am because I was so high for a long time. I don't want anyone to know, though. Just you. I know I need to find my personal relationship with Heavenly Father somehow. I feel kinda far away. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin right now. I know that sounds odd. I don't even know how to express it. Just that I'm kinda not feeling like smiling, or victorious or something. Who knows. Don't worry, just pray for me. Thanks, Fluffy.
Ok, so there you have it. I'm "there" I guess. By the way, Fluffy's answer was so very good. She said it is a time of refining. I don't think I care too much being in a refining. But I realize I must depend on faith, not always feelings. Thanx for prayers. I guess we have all been here at one time or another and will be because this world is not our home.
I thought about my recent posts and baring it all.. sharing it all.
I am at ease with it.. some are not comfortable and that is fine.
As a matter of fact, a few months back, our Pastor was speaking on sex to the teen of our church and what God's prescription for our sexual desires and actions. The schools are great at handing out condoms, encouraging the gals to get birth control.. they think that is the answer.. be all know God's answer and correct way is abstinence. I kept hearing a voice in the back of my mind.. get up.. I ignored it.. as he went to do closing prayer.. I found myself out of my seat and saying wait a minute.. I have something.. It was the Lord that literally pulled me out of my seat.
I then stood up in front of a congregation of total strangers and told my story in regards to my ways with sex. and the consequences I had to deal with. I shared with the youth what can happen in regards to STD's and such. I have always said if I could save one woman or man going through what I went through and where I have found myself at the age of 46, it would be well worth it.. I cannot save them but Jesus can. but by gosh I sure can help lead them to the Lord.. just as many as you have helped me here on my journey.
I can remember one Pastor saying we do not share our trash.. we do not bring all that out.. My thought? oh really? ... then how in the world are people going to learn that there is a different way of life.. that there is hope and salvation? If we do not share what we are going through , then how are gifted people like Bondman and others going to be led with their messages that the Lord needs us to hear? How are the unsaved who are going through similiar trials and tribulations going to know that there is an answer to their problems? Now when I walk into a crowded room, I know everyone there has a trial or problem they are facing. We are not alone.
No one can judge us, only the Lord can.
For me, if I would have kept all of my struggles hidden within myself, the most recent of relationship issues, I would still be living in a dark, dark place. But as I have learned to trust in the Lord, I have been able to open up to others.. I pray for peace for each and every one of you who takes the time to come to the Inner Room, the Coffee House and all the other sections. I pray that you find comfort. I pray that you find guidance in your spiritual journey. I pray that the spirit may move you to open up as the Lord sees fit to share your journeys, the defeats and more importantly the VICTORIES!!!!! There will be victory as you give it all to him..
Also, just to let you know on your walk, if you find yourself wanting to share but not wanting to share openly on a Forum, take the time to PM someone. I did that and that is what got me started and helped with my openess.
Hugs to you all
JESUS AND THE FATHER ARE DIFFERENTSo, is what I learned at church last night wrong? They said that God went through everything Jesus did because they are one.