Ok. Let me give you some advice as being someone who lost their relationships to both their older children. If you go through with showing conditional love(doesn't matter if you don't see it that way) and I can assure you the couple will see it like that. Then you better get a living will protecting you from their reflection of your actions back to you in old age infirmities. I fear what my 2 oldest would have done to me if I became an involent. I plan to have a living will drawn up upon my youngest reaching adulthood to protect me from the 2 oldest. I don't have a relationship with them because they're actively oppressing my wife, youngest son and myself. I know I am in the right but am paying a huge cost against those who could care less about right and wrong.
Walking the Fine Line
- Thread starter Nanon
- Start date
Was thinking on this and giving some real life examples on the consequences...
Had an aunty who we know married a fornicator and adulterer. She had two children, she was pregant and then he married her, turned out he only married her for nz residency, cos after two children he started sleeping around. My mums sisters caught him with another woman, and told my aunty...they KNEW he wasnt right from the start. They had suspicions.
When my mum found out her sister had fornicated before marriage to this guy..she stopped speaking to her. Even though she lived over the road, we didnt socialize with her family. We had attended her wedding...but we didnt really know about this man. It was only after he died of cancer...that everyone was reconciled. He died when the eldest son was only 12 I think. So..the marriage didnt last. God was merciful. I think we kept quiet for their sons sake, not to say anything about the dad.
Had an aunty who we know married a fornicator and adulterer. She had two children, she was pregant and then he married her, turned out he only married her for nz residency, cos after two children he started sleeping around. My mums sisters caught him with another woman, and told my aunty...they KNEW he wasnt right from the start. They had suspicions.
When my mum found out her sister had fornicated before marriage to this guy..she stopped speaking to her. Even though she lived over the road, we didnt socialize with her family. We had attended her wedding...but we didnt really know about this man. It was only after he died of cancer...that everyone was reconciled. He died when the eldest son was only 12 I think. So..the marriage didnt last. God was merciful. I think we kept quiet for their sons sake, not to say anything about the dad.
Another example, which everyone may know. Prince cHarles and Princess Diana. He shouldnt have married her, he didnt really love her, she didnt genuinely love him. They had two children. Charles was really in love with Camilla. Both commited adultery...I dont know who did first but both admitted. Princess Diana died in car crash with her bf. after that, charles was free to marry Camilla, and they married for the second time, and the Queen gave her blessing.
Many people didnt like Camilla and Diana grew quite vindictive with the divorce proceedings...Charles was no saint either, but...at least charles admitted he was wrong. Diana wanted him to pay though. She was quite unstable, but then her own parents marriage was a shambles. diana desperately wanted people to love her, since she felt abandoned by her own mother when young.
When she died, the royal family was much hated...but I think the Queen learned some hard lessons...and also, it seems through this and other things, she was born again.
I think Charles was under much pressure to marry the first time round. diana was not sure about this marriage either but too late, the tea towels had already been made!
Many people didnt like Camilla and Diana grew quite vindictive with the divorce proceedings...Charles was no saint either, but...at least charles admitted he was wrong. Diana wanted him to pay though. She was quite unstable, but then her own parents marriage was a shambles. diana desperately wanted people to love her, since she felt abandoned by her own mother when young.
When she died, the royal family was much hated...but I think the Queen learned some hard lessons...and also, it seems through this and other things, she was born again.
I think Charles was under much pressure to marry the first time round. diana was not sure about this marriage either but too late, the tea towels had already been made!
[QUOTE="Nanon, post: 402064, member: 13938" The relationship
that began as adultery was never repented of and ended a legitimate marriage.
[/QUOTE]
Why do you assume it is never repented? In my opinion that is between them and God. I don't feel the need to repent my sins to my parents. It's none of their business. They should ask forgiveness to the other member in the ended marriage.
As a parent you have had the opportunity before the marriage to tell them what you belief is right and wrong. Jesus ate with sinners, He didn't say that they had to repent first before they could share food. That didn't mean He endorsed it.
that began as adultery was never repented of and ended a legitimate marriage.
[/QUOTE]
Why do you assume it is never repented? In my opinion that is between them and God. I don't feel the need to repent my sins to my parents. It's none of their business. They should ask forgiveness to the other member in the ended marriage.
As a parent you have had the opportunity before the marriage to tell them what you belief is right and wrong. Jesus ate with sinners, He didn't say that they had to repent first before they could share food. That didn't mean He endorsed it.
I think as a parent of an adulterer, one would know if repentance had taken place. Anyone who is worth his salt would come to his/her parents and confess as well, to make things right with them, as a definite rift in relationship would be unavoidable.
That's a good point Mieppi.
Also, the first marriage, what is happening with the first husband. Is he ok with his first wife or ex wife getting remarried, is he still in the picture? Do they have any children together? Has he completely let her go? What are the circumstances of their divorce?
Are they both believers or just church goers? Is the first husband born again? You may want to consider if the first marriage was unequally yoked. If so, then, the believing husband has to let her go, he can't make her stay against her will.
Also, the first marriage, what is happening with the first husband. Is he ok with his first wife or ex wife getting remarried, is he still in the picture? Do they have any children together? Has he completely let her go? What are the circumstances of their divorce?
Are they both believers or just church goers? Is the first husband born again? You may want to consider if the first marriage was unequally yoked. If so, then, the believing husband has to let her go, he can't make her stay against her will.
Why is a rift unavoidable? What comes to mind is John 8:3-12.
I believe when you have a child who has walked away from all that he/she has been taught concerning morality, there will be a strain or rift in the relationship. The only thing that could possibly hold it together would be the oil of the Holy Spirit emanating from the one who is righteous that would cover the offenses.
In my case my child is the adulterer and has walked away not only from her husband and children but her entire family and all people she has ever known, and also her Saviour. That's a definite rift, friend.
I see what you mean. But if I may ask, what is really the cause of the rift? Is it the adultery or is it the walking away from everybody or is it all the things together? And if the oil of the Holy Spirit could hold it together why isn't that happening?
Based on the definition of repentance (changing of the mind),
the fact that the couple is going through with the wedding makes
it clear they have not repented. Repentance would involve
stopping the adulterous relationship.
It reminds me of the time Vivien Leigh left her marriage for Laurence Olivier, and he left his to be with her. They had an affair and then got divorces to their spouses then got married...but there wedding was a kind of rushed affair, cos obviously their parents did not approve. They got married in america at midnight and only had two witnesses, one of them Katharine Hepburn.
vivien Leighs first husband never remarried and when she was having problems with her second, he didnt turn her away. She was still the mother of their child they had together. As she belonged to the catholic church, even though she was not a good catholic, her marriage to Laurence Olivier was not reecognised by them cos he was Protestant.
vivien Leighs first husband never remarried and when she was having problems with her second, he didnt turn her away. She was still the mother of their child they had together. As she belonged to the catholic church, even though she was not a good catholic, her marriage to Laurence Olivier was not reecognised by them cos he was Protestant.
The rift occurred in my case when my daughter broke contact with everyone she knew---we have no clue where she is, and she's been gone about 2 years now.
The Lord has made me a promise years ago before even a hint of these events occurring, from Jeremiah 31, and so I am leaning on His promise, and relying on the solid presence of Holy Spirit to do a work in her heart to bring her to repentance. When she returns, I will not EVER be able to say it was because of something I did or said---it will be ALL GOD!
So, I continue to wait.
The question I have is: What makes adultery adultery. If it is because one was married in the first place, you could say it ended be adultery with the divorce.
No it doesn't end. Grounds for divorce are limited, in God's view, and He sees the motives of the heart. There is no getting around God.
Mark 10:12
12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18
18 “For example, a man who divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery. And anyone who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.”
Romans 7:2-3
2 For example, when a woman marries, the law binds her to her husband as long as he is alive. But if he dies, the laws of marriage no longer apply to her. 3 So while her husband is alive, she would be committing adultery if she married another man. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law and does not commit adultery when she remarries.
It would make the fiancee to be the adulterer cos he stole the husbands wife. It would be even worse if her fiancee was also married at the time.
Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery...go and sin no more.
Notice he didnt say anything to the man, presumably he ran away. You need to talk to the guy. If hes stealing this woman away from her husband, why would you want him for a future son in law. Bad news. It will end in tears...
Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery...go and sin no more.
Notice he didnt say anything to the man, presumably he ran away. You need to talk to the guy. If hes stealing this woman away from her husband, why would you want him for a future son in law. Bad news. It will end in tears...
If they are going to get married without your blessing, they will anyway, they will do what they want but if your daughter has a conscience, and listens, then she might just not go through with it.
The only way she can be in the clear is if her first husband died, she would be free to marry.
I think by being at their wedding she might think you ok with it all.
This would be really hard but heaps of ppl just go off and marry without their parents knowledge or blessing, cos they rebellious.
The only way she can be in the clear is if her first husband died, she would be free to marry.
I think by being at their wedding she might think you ok with it all.
This would be really hard but heaps of ppl just go off and marry without their parents knowledge or blessing, cos they rebellious.
O for a thousand thumbs... to put up in response to the answer
you've given here, Euphemia.