Major, please accept my deep apology for sharing too much of my problem. I will try to keep that to myself and do the best I can. Thanks.
Have you ever seen a baby? It is in it's whole world moving its arms and legs.. Parents and elders might talk with the baby so much.. It does not reply nor understand what the parents are saying.. As time goes by, it matures.. It grows up and starts understanding what the parents are saying and starts to grasp many things.. we all are like babies.. Some get that maturity.. God is always speaking to us.. It is our maturity in our relationship with God that matters.. God never stops speaking to us.. He is always speaking to us through His Word.. Remember, the Word became flesh.. Reading Word of God is same as reading God!Like w/ me
I rarely hear Him.. but when He "speaks" to me...
*Sometimes its through dreams
*Sometimes others
*Miscellaneous (I'll explain this one)
Like the Sunday before last, I really needed to have a better relationship w/ God.. like.. I wasn't reading , praying or anything ( visited my cousin's church) the morning b4 church I prayed... what was on my heart
and the service pretty much addressed everything I prayed for... and I knew what I needed to do (I wish I took a notebook lol)
then (miscellaneous) a while back.. I remember praying in the bathroom.. (needing a better relationship w/ God) and when I came out..on the window sill... was a pamphlet titled "you can be close to God too"
I was amazed, I asked my dad was it his, he said ..I asked my brother who's almost always out he said no as well, my dad said he just found it... and placed it on the window sill ^^
Soooo... I know He is talking to me.. its just in unconventional ways... but Im sure its because.. my psyche is no Buena right now lol (I have anxiety, racing thought yadda...) so Im thinking maybe that's why...
But sometimes it worries me b/c it says His sheep hear his voice.. and I barely hear Him..
but He gets my attention..in numerous ways.
Yah.. I know it won't be audible... (I don't need to hear like that, that would scare me to no end) I just have a problem with expectation...
1) b/c I can't tell really well when its Him or me
2) when I do do that- I get silence.... (Like after service ..that particular service...which was 2 weeks ago.. I went into my cousin's bathroom..and just talked aloud to God for a while.. thanking Him for answering my prayers and everything... I wasn't really expecting anything bc.. 1) he already answered ... and 2) Idk..I just don't hear well... Like I stated above..
I remember in the past one of my church members told me that i think God told him,,that he knows I want to hear his voice.. and he was saying something like...I had to be persistent or something..it was so long ago when he told me this..I don't remeber all of what he said...
but yah
I guess thats the third thing...the icing on the cake;
Im not very patient.... like after I say my piece; I wait maybe a minute or 3 ..if I dont hear anything ..Im out lol
Its hard to wait bc.. then my mind wanders..and I start thinking about other things, to the point im like; what am i doing again lolololol
For a long time I tried different ministry initiatives like ministering to restaurant workers (invisible labor group who labor long hours with little time for family let alone interacting with faith groups). Group of us started a late night fellowship - as if we heard God's calling for this mission. In the beginning it seem just so right, so driven by the Holy Spirit to do great thing with admission that we are just weaklings to rely on God's power. In the end, long hours and bone tired body after a year or so, all ended (at least for me) in bitter disappointment. Have nothing to show. Another blow to my faith. Looking back, I feel our group had done our best, prayed heart felt prayer, did the legwork. Why is it so hard to minister to others ? Why God seems to be so reluctant to demonstrate his power among the unbelievers. If there had been just one, just one conversion, our small team will feel like in heaven. But that is not to be. That is the last few straws to end my ministry works. I really do not care anymore about evangelizing to others. At the time, and also in other occasions, I felt so energized that God was talking to me (like God's instruction to Joshua as in Joshua 1 and that was a great spiritual high for me), to "commission" me for an assignment. I do not know how to describe my spiritual state now. How have I fallen so miserably. Akin to falling into a pit that physically I can not climb out, not with my own power. I want to cry out and so much want to to be heard like Psalm 40: 2. When I shared my experience to other Christians, very few if any understood. Most advises are that it is my undoing, cry out to God and He will transform my bitter heart into praising heart, or that it is sins that smothered my faith. Or whatever combination that leads to where I am. I used to think of Moses or Joshua as the characters I want to model after. But now I feel more like Samson. After living a flawed life, still acknowledge God and the sin committed, just waiting for one more chance to redeem myself. I am thankful for the forum that at least allow me to share my thought.
Have you ever seen a baby? It is in it's whole world moving its arms and legs.. Parents and elders might talk with the baby so much.. It does not reply nor understand what the parents are saying.. As time goes by, it matures.. It grows up and starts understanding what the parents are saying and starts to grasp many things.. we all are like babies.. Some get that maturity.. God is always speaking to us.. It is our maturity in our relationship with God that matters.. God never stops speaking to us.. He is always speaking to us through His Word.. Remember, the Word became flesh.. Reading Word of God is same as reading God!
Don't worry, this happens to me as well. God has not spoken to me in a while, but when He does, I mostly feel this crazy paralyzing feeling from inside me. God is the only explanation. God might never talk to you in a voice like your family speaks to you. But He still speaks. You will see in the Bible that God only talked to prophets and other certain holy men that He specifically wanted to use in the creation of the Bible in an audible voice.Like w/ me
I rarely hear Him.. but when He "speaks" to me...
*Sometimes its through dreams
*Sometimes others
*Miscellaneous (I'll explain this one)
Like the Sunday before last, I really needed to have a better relationship w/ God.. like.. I wasn't reading , praying or anything ( visited my cousin's church) the morning b4 church I prayed... what was on my heart
and the service pretty much addressed everything I prayed for... and I knew what I needed to do (I wish I took a notebook lol)
then (miscellaneous) a while back.. I remember praying in the bathroom.. (needing a better relationship w/ God) and when I came out..on the window sill... was a pamphlet titled "you can be close to God too"
I was amazed, I asked my dad was it his, he said ..I asked my brother who's almost always out he said no as well, my dad said he just found it... and placed it on the window sill ^^
Soooo... I know He is talking to me.. its just in unconventional ways... but Im sure its because.. my psyche is no Buena right now lol (I have anxiety, racing thought yadda...) so Im thinking maybe that's why...
But sometimes it worries me b/c it says His sheep hear his voice.. and I barely hear Him..
but He gets my attention..in numerous ways.
Don't worry, this happens to me as well. God has not spoken to me in a while, but when He does, I mostly feel this crazy paralyzing feeling from inside me. God is the only explanation. God might never talk to you in a voice like your family speaks to you. But He still speaks. You will see in the Bible that God only talked to prophets and other certain holy men that He specifically wanted to use in the creation of the Bible in an audible voice.
I know, but I am saying that it is not very likely.God still speaks in countless ways to His people, and that includes the audible voice.
I know, but I am saying that it is not very likely.
It is true.Everything is possible with God. When it happens, it is pure joy.
Back to your point though.
A tiny child initially struggles with confusion to understand with its intellect, whatever mum or dad is saying. Over time the skill is perfected, and he learns the words and starts to speak.
However when it comes to the realm of the spirit, a child is the first to recognise spiritual things. I am not here referring to doctrinal theology, but things relating to the kingdom of God such as angels, and hearing in the spirit.
To give an example.-
When my son was only three and a half, we were trying to buy a house, but the purchase suddenly collapsed. After being notified my wife mentioned it my son that we were no longer going to have the new house. My son disappeared into his bedroom, and came back a minute or two later declaring that, "Jesus says we will have that house and we'll have it before we go on holiday!"
I have seen many children hearing God's words and seeing visions with incredible clarity, just as Jesus said, but as they grow older it gets buried because adults never encourage it. Adults rarely encourage it because it threatens them that a child functions better than them.
It doesn't need academic qualifications to hear God speak if a child can do it.