Bullying...why?

Thank you for posting this and including your personal experience and perspective.

Although we have both Deaf and HOH friends, and coworkers, I realized there was much I have missed. I picked up many great insights and learned that some of my presumptions are off and that many of my own behaviors can be more helpful.
You are very welcome.
 
Actually the entire Deaf thing - I'd like an opportunity to clear some misconceptions and misguided views. I don't agree with you as I am Deaf and so are my children. Perhaps it's best to leave it to people who know personally.

Deaf children cannot hear at all. Speaking clearly doesn't do anything. Infact it's abuse and further isolates them into being segregated and isolated. Learning American Sign Language and Deaf Culture is the very essential core of raising a Deaf student within the system. This is all hearing people's indoctrination of what they think Deaf people need to be able to understand. Many Deaf people are angry and have been abused along with victimized because of this misconception within the school system. Most end up committing suicide before they even get out of school or heavily medicated for mental health/behavioral problems. Deaf children cannot use hearing aids as their audiograms have failed. Our world is all visual. We see to hear. We touch to understand and we do not fit into the hearing world of learning and comprehending. Smaller classes are needed. We have 4-5 in a class to 1 teacher and an EA. Everyone signs. Sports are visual with lights. All subjects are visual. Taught in American Sign Language. Deaf Culture is the core of each child's education. Deaf teachers are widely available and are hired. CoAD [children of Deaf Adults] are hired within the school system and very rarely are hearing individuals given these positions. Only way to every truly help them understand is their language ASL - which paves way to possibly learn written ENG. However most times this is challenging and often very heartbreaking.

Audism is abuse. Where as people may not be educated or understand. It's important that facts are given and how important it is to truly be solid about these matters.


Examples of audism:

Jumping in to help a deaf person communicate.

Asking a Deaf person to read your lips or write when s/he has indicated this isn’t preferred.

Making phone calls for a deaf person since they "can't."

Refusing to call an interpreter when one is requested.

Assuming that those with better speech/English skills are superior.

Asking a Deaf person to "tone down" their facial expressions because they are making others uncomfortable.

Refusing to explain to a Deaf person why everyone around him is laughing – "never mind, I’ll tell you later, it doesn't matter."

Devoting a significant amount of instructional time for a Deaf child to lipreading and speech therapy, rather than educational subjects.

Please watch if you have an opportunity. Below.

This powerful documentary uses real life experiences from Deaf people of varied social, racial, and educational backgrounds - showing how audism does lasting and harmful damage. As they share their struggles with this emotionally charged matter, they reveal the scars that may never heal.


Thank you for allowing me to post and sharing my Deaf story amongst the thousands of Deaf and HOH children who have suffered from lack of understanding, education and support they have needed over generations.
At our school district, they work hard to accommodate students with disabilities. Aside from a team that puts together an IEP (Individual Educational Plan), some students get what is called a "one-on-one paraprofessional" that is with the student the entire day. In class that include students that are not as severe, they assigned several paraprofessionals to assist the teacher.

Last year I had to go to one of our schools where the entire population is of severely disabled students. The principal gave me a tour of the school and I got to meet some of the students. The school actually has an in-door pool used for therapy. The teachers and paraprofessionals that work there are made of gold. It's one of those schools where the faculty has to ask to be there, and it shows.
 
At our school district, they work hard to accommodate students with disabilities. Aside from a team that puts together an IEP (Individual Educational Plan), some students get what is called a "one-on-one paraprofessional" that is with the student the entire day. In class that include students that are not as severe, they assigned several paraprofessionals to assist the teacher.

Last year I had to go to one of our schools where the entire population is of severely disabled students. The principal gave me a tour of the school and I got to meet some of the students. The school actually has an in-door pool used for therapy. The teachers and paraprofessionals that work there are made of gold. It's one of those schools where the faculty has to ask to be there, and it shows.
Yes. My daughters went to a Deaf School. Removed them from the Deaf program which semi gets them "prepped" for mainstream. I fought to enroll them into a School for the Deaf in London ON. Then further I moved close to Toronto ON near Milton ON for another Deaf School that they could attend all the way through high-school. It's Provincial. It's a government school. They have everything. Anything you can think of - pool, snack bar area, residence, movie room, huge upclass gymnasium, playground, etc. Residence stay all week and go home weekends. Then there were day students like mine that went day to school and came home.
 
Learning American Sign Language and Deaf Culture is the very essential core of raising a Deaf student within the system.
We was told in training to use sign language to hard of hearing residents and write things down for easier communication. It works for well when I come across deaf clients and I agree it’s the best practice.
 
Just a brief Moderator mention.

This thread has covered many aspects of bullying and the resulting effects.

There have been a very few instances where Rule 3.2d has been approached in this thread, but not violated as yet concerning "clinical level advice".

This mention is just to remind everyone about that Rule and to keep all posts in compliance.

Thank You.




`
 
Actually the entire Deaf thing - I'd like an opportunity to clear some misconceptions and misguided views. I don't agree with you as I am Deaf and so are my children. Perhaps it's best to leave it to people who know personally.

Deaf children cannot hear at all. Speaking clearly doesn't do anything. Infact it's abuse and further isolates them into being segregated and isolated. Learning American Sign Language and Deaf Culture is the very essential core of raising a Deaf student within the system. This is all hearing people's indoctrination of what they think Deaf people need to be able to understand. Many Deaf people are angry and have been abused along with victimized because of this misconception within the school system. Most end up committing suicide before they even get out of school or heavily medicated for mental health/behavioral problems. Deaf children cannot use hearing aids as their audiograms have failed. Our world is all visual. We see to hear. We touch to understand and we do not fit into the hearing world of learning and comprehending. Smaller classes are needed. We have 4-5 in a class to 1 teacher and an EA. Everyone signs. Sports are visual with lights. All subjects are visual. Taught in American Sign Language. Deaf Culture is the core of each child's education. Deaf teachers are widely available and are hired. CoAD [children of Deaf Adults] are hired within the school system and very rarely are hearing individuals given these positions. Only way to every truly help them understand is their language ASL - which paves way to possibly learn written ENG. However most times this is challenging and often very heartbreaking.

Audism is abuse. Where as people may not be educated or understand. It's important that facts are given and how important it is to truly be solid about these matters.


Examples of audism:

Jumping in to help a deaf person communicate.

Asking a Deaf person to read your lips or write when s/he has indicated this isn’t preferred.

Making phone calls for a deaf person since they "can't."

Refusing to call an interpreter when one is requested.

Assuming that those with better speech/English skills are superior.

Asking a Deaf person to "tone down" their facial expressions because they are making others uncomfortable.

Refusing to explain to a Deaf person why everyone around him is laughing – "never mind, I’ll tell you later, it doesn't matter."

Devoting a significant amount of instructional time for a Deaf child to lipreading and speech therapy, rather than educational subjects.

Please watch if you have an opportunity. Below.

This powerful documentary uses real life experiences from Deaf people of varied social, racial, and educational backgrounds - showing how audism does lasting and harmful damage. As they share their struggles with this emotionally charged matter, they reveal the scars that may never heal.


Thank you for allowing me to post and sharing my Deaf story amongst the thousands of Deaf and HOH children who have suffered from lack of understanding, education and support they have needed over generations.
In NZ we have our own sign language we don't use American Sign Language.

We have dedicated deaf schools though some deaf people don't exclusively sign because there is too much gossiping going on in deaf culture.
I didn't have totally deaf children in my classes but I did have some hearing impaired children where I would have to wear a special amplifier around my neck for them. But I agree merely talking, which a lot of teachers do for mainstream instructions, is not going to work even with hearing children.

I was referring to special needs children (not deaf children) in my post more like ones that had ADHD or autism or some other impairment that keeps them from learning. If you have a deaf child, one needs to let the school know rather than assume that all teachers are going to accomodate a deaf child esp when it may be a substitute teacher who doesn't know each and every child by name. Same with ESL speakers, don't assume they will understand your language! They will pick it up, but its going to be harder and more work for them.
 
I lived with a deaf child when I flatted, the mum and her partner used sign language. I have deaf neighbours. Since I didn't learn sign (I only really know the basic alphabet) I write things down. I have been exchanging letters with my deaf neighbour for years.

The deaf community did a presentation to the public library I specifically asked for to accomodate our deaf readers. They were very good at opening our eyes to the challenges deaf people face. That's why clear signage is so important in libraries.

Sign Language is the official 3rd language in NZ.

Captions on TV help a lot, and they also help hearing people too!

I didn't know you were deaf Transformed in Christ.

In terms of bullying, I think abled people sometimes make fun of deaf people or anyone with a disability because of their inability and don't understand its not something they can help. With people who wear glasses, sometimes we get bullied too for not having 20-20 vision.Wearing glasses or hearing aids or being in a wheelchair or whatever, can set you apart from those who don't need aids.

One of the things is they can be excluded a lot from friendship circles because of the extra time and effort needed to look after their needs, whereas those with an impairment don't really want to be TOO dependent on others either. But this is sometimes where pets can help as they are often truly loyal and never leave your side.
 
Actually the entire Deaf thing - I'd like an opportunity to clear some misconceptions and misguided views. I don't agree with you as I am Deaf and so are my children. Perhaps it's best to leave it to people who know personally.
I have always been fascinated with the idea that there are senses we could have but fail to recognize, e.g. sixth senses and so forth. As such, I wonder how we may appear to spiritual beings who have these senses.

Since you have volunteered this information about yourself, firstly let me thank you. 🙏 It takes strength and courage to admit as much when you absolutely do not need to. But secondly, may I ask: were you deaf from birth? Have you ever experienced sound or is the idea foreign to you? If the latter, how does it seem to you observing people experiencing life in a way that is on one hand fundamental to our experience and on the other hand completely taken for granted? For example: I take it as given that I can hear someone speaking through the walls of an apartment building. It's quite commonplace that I wish others would be quieter as to not disturb me. However, I suspect such an experience would appear quite novel to you. Vice versa there are ways in which you experience life that may seem perfectly normal to you yet I may have never considered.

If I am crossing a line with these questions then feel free to disregard me.

Jason
 
I have always been fascinated with the idea that there are senses we could have but fail to recognize, e.g. sixth senses and so forth. As such, I wonder how we may appear to spiritual beings who have these senses.

Since you have volunteered this information about yourself, firstly let me thank you. 🙏 It takes strength and courage to admit as much when you absolutely do not need to. But secondly, may I ask: were you deaf from birth? Have you ever experienced sound or is the idea foreign to you? If the latter, how does it seem to you observing people experiencing life in a way that is on one hand fundamental to our experience and on the other hand completely taken for granted? For example: I take it as given that I can hear someone speaking through the walls of an apartment building. It's quite commonplace that I wish others would be quieter as to not disturb me. However, I suspect such an experience would appear quite novel to you. Vice versa there are ways in which you experience life that may seem perfectly normal to you yet I may have never considered.

If I am crossing a line with these questions then feel free to disregard me.

Jason
I have to sit down and write down your questions. I will probably privately DM you Jason. I don't feel comfortable going anymore deeper than I have on the public fourm. Stay tuned.
 
I have to sit down and write down your questions. I will probably privately DM you Jason.
There are lots of things hearing people wish they didn't hear.
Comments like these aren't helpful that somehow being Deaf is somehow better than being hearing. When in all actuality it is destructive and involves immense pain, discrimination and generational abuse. Every day we face it. From public, doctors, workplaces and so forth. If a hearing person wants not to hear - be my guest. The baggage will come with it :(
 
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I have to sit down and write down your questions. I will probably privately DM you Jason. I don't feel comfortable going anymore deeper than I have on the public fourm. Stay tuned.
Hi TiC. If possible, can you include me in that DM. I am fascinated to learn more about how you manage in your version of our world. Not a day goes by when I don't stop and think about how so many people complain about some petty issues, while others deal with serious issues. I find you very inspirational and a great way to put "things" into proper perspective.

Rtm
 
Hi TiC. If possible, can you include me in that DM. I am fascinated to learn more about how you manage in your version of our world. Not a day goes by when I don't stop and think about how so many people complain about some petty issues, while others deal with serious issues. I find you very inspirational and a great way to put "things" into proper perspective.

Rtm
I will.
 
Thanks. As an insight, I have a certain level (30%) hearing loss due to my 25 years in the military and all the booms, bangs. and pops. I have hearing aids, but only use them at work. If not, I am constantly asking people to repeat themselves. This is nothing, compared to someone that has no hearing, but I do find it frustrating and a bit annoying when someone make a joke of it. When I have my hearing aids on and outside, I do find some of what I hear a bit overwhelming and distracting, but at least I have a choice and I know you don't :(

Based on your comments the other day, I did a little reading and read that 1 out of 10 children born to a deaf mother and themselves deaf (https://www.aussiedeafkids.org.au/the-genetics-of-hearing-loss-1.html#:~:text=a hearing loss-,The genetics of hearing loss,deaf parents are also deaf.)

I have the same issue with vision. My vision is 20/30. I have glasses but seldom wear them. I find that seeing the world through 20/30 eyes removes some of the blemishes and softens some of the imperfections. In other words, I avoid seeing the pimples and wrinkles.

Rtm
 
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Thanks. As an insight, I have a certain level (30%) hearing loss due to my 25 years in the military and all the booms, bangs. and pops. I have hearing aids, but only use them at work. If not, I am constantly asking people to repeat themselves. This is nothing, compared to someone that has no hearing, but I do find it frustrating and a bit annoying when someone make a joke of it. When I have my hearing aids on and outside, I do find some of what I hear a bit overwhelming and distracting, but at least I have a choice and I know you don't :(

Based on your comments the other day, I did a little reading and read that 1 out of 10 children born to a deaf mother and themselves deaf (https://www.aussiedeafkids.org.au/the-genetics-of-hearing-loss-1.html#:~:text=a hearing loss-,The genetics of hearing loss,deaf parents are also deaf.)

I have the same issue with vision. My vision is 20/30. I have glasses but seldom wear them. I find that seeing the works through 20/30 eyes removes some of the blemishes and softens some of the imperfections. In other words, I avoid seeing the pimples and wrinkles.

Rtm
short sightedness or near sightness does blur the details but it does sort of protect you from harsh, sharp light and imperfections. But its no good for someone with sight to see imperfection which we that need glasses can safely ignore I suppose.

Also our eyes won't be poked with sharp sticks if wearing spectacles. Those who wear specs sometimes are made fun of for looking 'brainy; but I never let that bother me, and just accepted it. I'd rather wear them and see than not wear them and not see. My approach would be making spectacles look cool. Then children all wanted to wear them, even if they didn't need them!

People can wear contacts but I never fussed with them plus they dry out your eyes. I'm not worried bout how people perceive me so much, I know I look different from everyone else its not something I can't help being unique. As some people say 'why fit in when you can stand out?'

I find that your weaknesses can be your secret strength, as Paul has said I will boast more gladly of my weaknesses, so the power of Christ may rest in me.

Also remember Gideon? He was not the strongest of men..yet God had him win the battle. And He chose the weakest, most puny lot of people (the Hebrews, everyone else around them were practically giants) to be His chosen ones!
 
People often talk about me behind my back, or make unhelpful comments like...go back to china (was never there to begin with) eat more (am naturally thin, I eat just as much as everyone else) or that I'm a weakling (ok, I will never be a forward in a rugby team, but why should I be?) but I never really cared or put too much value in what people think of me, its what God thinks of me that's important.

And He's always been there, led and guided me and convicted me of where I've gone wrong, but also, I think I've never tried to be someone I'm not. There is no 'perfect, ideal' person when God loves us through our imperfections and can bring good out of bad. He loves us while we were yet sinners. And because Jesus died for us, because He knew humans were weak and mortal.

If you ever go to hospital or you are confronted with the entire range of human frailty and weakness but if you work there you love and treat everyone with dignity and worth no matter what challenges they may face. Why because everyone has a life to live and you never know how much life is so precious until you are close to losing it.
 
Doing a love your enemies lesson

Its hard. How do you love someone who bullies you? Even when you are kind to them, they still bully you it seems.
 
Doing a love your enemies lesson

Its hard. How do you love someone who bullies you? Even when you are kind to them, they still bully you it seems.
Romans 5:8 NKJV
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.


Romans 5:10 NKJV
For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.


John 15:13 (KJV) Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Christ died for us (loved us) while we were enemies (sinners), hopefully we can treat bullies at least with kindness.
 
Do we die for a bully, just wondering
Jesus was bullied to death, he didn't fight back.

He was crucified and flogged. Jesus did not crucify or flog anyone. Even when he knew Judas had betrayed him, he didn't say anything bad about him, though Judas did kill himself in the end. Peter was forgiven though, after he deserted Jesus and claimed he didn't know him.
 
Do we die for a bully, just wondering Jesus was bullied to death, he didn't fight back. He was crucified and flogged. Jesus did not crucify or flog anyone. Even when he knew Judas had betrayed him, he didn't say anything bad about him, though Judas did kill himself in the end. Peter was forgiven though, after he deserted Jesus and claimed he didn't know him.

Hello Lanolin;

That's a great question and I'm sure many Believers wonder about that.

We are persecuted by bullies, the bad guys and anyone who opposes Christ but we don't die for any bully.

We die unto Christ reference Romans 14:8.

As far as Peter he wasn't a bully, he just wimped out against Christ. God knows and sees all who bully His people. Woe to them!

God also knows when His servants weaken as Jesus forgave Peter reference John 21:15-19.

I hope this helps.

God bless
you, sister.
 
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