AMEN!
Bullying...why?
- Thread starter Lanolin
- Start date
Ive been thinking about what you said, and no they didn't use them.
In fact, I notice after reading rtm3039 post with the link to 'got questions', and BibleLover post about men fighting bullies being heroes, there is another way too.
Lone bullies are not a problem to be dealt with in the way of the sword. rtm made friends with his bully after a fight. But now I am wondering about many bullies who join up. States, nations, gangs, that kind of thing... People who are dragged into a fight by persuasion, or intimidation makes things more complicated.
49 And when those who were around him saw what would follow, they said, “Lord, shall we strike with the sword?” 50 And one of them struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his right ear. 51 But Jesus said, “No more of this!” And he touched his ear and healed him. (Luke 22"49-51 ESV)
No they didn't use physical swords, the only sword Jesus used was the Word out of his mouth.
Jesus could have stoned the adulterers, but He didn't.
I note that Jesus did call Pharisees snakes and vipers, hypocrites etc but he was just being honest as thats what they were. The Pharisees tried to kill him.
He could have asked for fire down from heaven to smite his enemies, but He didn't.
Jesus didn't make friends with his enemies either. It was the enemies who came round to him, (like Nicodemus at night) not Jesus going to the enemies camp and joining up. No Jesus did not become an honorary Pharisee.
Jesus could have stoned the adulterers, but He didn't.
I note that Jesus did call Pharisees snakes and vipers, hypocrites etc but he was just being honest as thats what they were. The Pharisees tried to kill him.
He could have asked for fire down from heaven to smite his enemies, but He didn't.
Jesus didn't make friends with his enemies either. It was the enemies who came round to him, (like Nicodemus at night) not Jesus going to the enemies camp and joining up. No Jesus did not become an honorary Pharisee.
I guess some people think bullying is ok on this forum, it isn't but they continue to do so and misread others. It is so tiring dealing with bullies. Honestly.
If you are bigger, older, and stronger than someone else doesn't give you the right to break someone down who is smaller, younger, and weaker. If you are smarter than someone else, it doesn't give you the right to tell someone how stupid they are.
The way to behave is to encourage someone, to help them, support them, and listen to them to understand where they may be ignorant and guide them to more wisdom.
It is really on the bullies to change, not you become like the bullies. Some people here sure act like they in charge when they don't have a clue what goes on in the real world. They don't have people skills at all. They get angry for no reason, just because they covet someone else's gift and ignore their own gift they have been given.
I had boys who bullied others mostly because their dads weren't around to show them how a boy ought to behave and to draw out his special gifts and talents by loving and guiding them.
This is why Jesus refered to God as our Father (Abba, Father) or in other words DADDY and not just some generic Chief Execuitive Officer who doesn't care and only has harsh words to say to his employees when they are 'out of line' and fires you when he's got no use for you.
If you are bigger, older, and stronger than someone else doesn't give you the right to break someone down who is smaller, younger, and weaker. If you are smarter than someone else, it doesn't give you the right to tell someone how stupid they are.
The way to behave is to encourage someone, to help them, support them, and listen to them to understand where they may be ignorant and guide them to more wisdom.
It is really on the bullies to change, not you become like the bullies. Some people here sure act like they in charge when they don't have a clue what goes on in the real world. They don't have people skills at all. They get angry for no reason, just because they covet someone else's gift and ignore their own gift they have been given.
I had boys who bullied others mostly because their dads weren't around to show them how a boy ought to behave and to draw out his special gifts and talents by loving and guiding them.
This is why Jesus refered to God as our Father (Abba, Father) or in other words DADDY and not just some generic Chief Execuitive Officer who doesn't care and only has harsh words to say to his employees when they are 'out of line' and fires you when he's got no use for you.
TransformedinChrist
Account Closed
I think everyone has their struggles, personality clashes, views, traumas, etc. I think there can be definitely rifts where God desires unity. Sinful nature is prevalent and constantly lurking at the door with temptation. We need to pray for each other and ask God what He desires more than having an idea, forming a picture or making an assumption of what we should or shouldn't be doing. God's Word ultimately begins with us as individuals. What do you need to change before asking someone else to change first.
This is not true and though I'm not the owner of Christian Forum Site I wouldn't allow it by standing up and protecting my brothers and sisters with God's guidance and leading me.
Physical bullying is not just the strong over the weak, but verbal bullying can go a lot further.
Proverbs 18:21, 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. - ESV. There are many other verses in the Old and New Testaments that teach about verbal abuse and how to combat it.
I can take a punch and it will go away, but a verbal curse can have a lasting sting for years. Fortunately God can turn our hateful words to "things to say" that can uplift another. That too can go a long way.
Love in Christ.
Bob
I hope it isnt but I've had to report a few on forums in the past. Thankfully it has been dealt with though the reason I posted this thread was how to deal with them in school. (Now there's cyber-bullying - and let's not pretend it doesn't happen here)
I have heard of a case in a high school where a student in their final year suicided. This is what bullies do, curse people hoping they will die (or physically harm them) and they can do it online too.
I remember one time, not this forum, someone I didn't know from a bar of soap, wrote that they hoped a house would fall on me?! Of course I can laugh it off now and I'm still alive, but when I was younger I would think what had I done to have that said to me, and so disrespectful.
Often you don't even have to have DONE anything, you just look different and people hate you for looking not like them. But how can someone help the way they look or what they are born with? We all do our best to look presentable (i.e brush our hair, wash our faces, wear clean clothes) and that's still not good enough?
I have heard of a case in a high school where a student in their final year suicided. This is what bullies do, curse people hoping they will die (or physically harm them) and they can do it online too.
I remember one time, not this forum, someone I didn't know from a bar of soap, wrote that they hoped a house would fall on me?! Of course I can laugh it off now and I'm still alive, but when I was younger I would think what had I done to have that said to me, and so disrespectful.
Often you don't even have to have DONE anything, you just look different and people hate you for looking not like them. But how can someone help the way they look or what they are born with? We all do our best to look presentable (i.e brush our hair, wash our faces, wear clean clothes) and that's still not good enough?
There was one book I read called '
When the adults change, everyone changes ...I think that's the title. It was a teachers book. It was about how to have a safe environment in a school where everyone is respected and treats each other with courtesy...like greeting them in the morning, walking, saying please and thank you, being patient.
Basic things that seem to be forgotten in the mad rush of life. When the adults forget the basics, the children follow suit. A lot of schools are pressure cookers where children have no downtime, everything is crammed in, it's over crowded and the needy ones get lost or ignored. The loud ones talk over the top of the quieter ones. That is not the way to do it.
I have not been on duty in the playground but I was ALWAYS in the library at lunchtimes and some playtimes where there was no other adult around and teachers would not come in. I saw a lot of things. When children aren't in class time they are free and run around and thats when you see how they mix with others especially not their own classmates and how they treat others.
When the adults change, everyone changes ...I think that's the title. It was a teachers book. It was about how to have a safe environment in a school where everyone is respected and treats each other with courtesy...like greeting them in the morning, walking, saying please and thank you, being patient.
Basic things that seem to be forgotten in the mad rush of life. When the adults forget the basics, the children follow suit. A lot of schools are pressure cookers where children have no downtime, everything is crammed in, it's over crowded and the needy ones get lost or ignored. The loud ones talk over the top of the quieter ones. That is not the way to do it.
I have not been on duty in the playground but I was ALWAYS in the library at lunchtimes and some playtimes where there was no other adult around and teachers would not come in. I saw a lot of things. When children aren't in class time they are free and run around and thats when you see how they mix with others especially not their own classmates and how they treat others.
With girls vs boys...I had to keep them apart and safe too because girls cop it a lot from boys, especially if they are not in their eyes as beautiful looking..and girls have their bad hair days too where they don't feel loved because they think they look terrible.
Even the pretty ones, who get too much attention are like, do boys only like me for what I look like? This is why so many...eating disorders etc.
Even the pretty ones, who get too much attention are like, do boys only like me for what I look like? This is why so many...eating disorders etc.
Nobody is pretending it doesn't happen here, there and everywhere, it happens. Regardless, I can assure you the staff monitors and have dealt with the members who can't adhere to the forum rules. Anytime you feel "cyber-bullied" you pm the staff or myself, immediately.
You are very much a part of this Christian Forum.
People, no matter how much they shout Lord, Lord, all have fallen short with our hearts and tongues. It's our ministry to pray for those who take away the Lord's glory whether physical or verbal bullying.
Personally, I have seen wonderful transition in people's lives who walk with Christ. Many have learned to curb their fists and words.
Love in Christ.
Bob
TransformedinChrist
Account Closed
Well said bobinfaith. You are apart of this forum Lanolin and we want all members to feel safe, respected even if there are views that are opposing and disagreeable with one another. We still need to understand that personalities do rub each other the wrong way however it gives zero excuse and a pass to display and engage in any cyber bullying of any form on CFS. We carefully monitor things here - if at any time you feel you need to reach out... we are here for you.
Warmly in Christ,
Kate
I hope so, though its harder when it's the mods that are being the bullies, just as it is in school when its TEACHERS who are the bullies and Principals!
When you stuck in a class and someone is bullying you in class, and you are a child and you tell the teachers, sometimes that makes things even worse because the teachers may take the bullies side.
Though I have witnessed some students trying to bully the teacher with disrespectful words, though they can be removed more often than not its teachers who pick on children they don't like.
When you stuck in a class and someone is bullying you in class, and you are a child and you tell the teachers, sometimes that makes things even worse because the teachers may take the bullies side.
Though I have witnessed some students trying to bully the teacher with disrespectful words, though they can be removed more often than not its teachers who pick on children they don't like.
TransformedinChrist
Account Closed
I can definitely understand - experienced this in mainstream school when they took Deaf students out of Deaf/HOH programs and put them in regular schools. Teachers were not educated to teach children with special needs.
We mods at CFS are held high accountability and transparency with the entire team. I hope you do not feel that way with CFS mods here.
I think there is just no extra funding for special needs thats why they are all in mainstream..there are pros and cons of doing that. If have too many in one class and teachers aren't trained, it's not a good idea.
With deaf if you can speak clearly, write or use body language that helps them understand better, also there are hearing aids and amplifiers people can use. The graphic memoir El Deafo is quite a good book to read about how a girl copes with hearing impairment.
I have been on CFS a long time and was never a mod but lots of mods have come and gone, and I've not always been posting every single day though generally things have been ok and dealt with pretty quick, and any disagreements or squabbles have usually been forgiven! Thats why we have certain rules not to talk about things as some people aren't going to change their minds about something if they have a conviction about it.
But that different from being bullied...for being different or not having the exact same mind. If we have the mind of Christ we can appreciate differences in people and if they come from brokenness that they be healed.
When Jesus healed a blind man people asked him if he or his parents sinned and he said no it was because he wanted to show God's glory through this man.
With deaf if you can speak clearly, write or use body language that helps them understand better, also there are hearing aids and amplifiers people can use. The graphic memoir El Deafo is quite a good book to read about how a girl copes with hearing impairment.
I have been on CFS a long time and was never a mod but lots of mods have come and gone, and I've not always been posting every single day though generally things have been ok and dealt with pretty quick, and any disagreements or squabbles have usually been forgiven! Thats why we have certain rules not to talk about things as some people aren't going to change their minds about something if they have a conviction about it.
But that different from being bullied...for being different or not having the exact same mind. If we have the mind of Christ we can appreciate differences in people and if they come from brokenness that they be healed.
When Jesus healed a blind man people asked him if he or his parents sinned and he said no it was because he wanted to show God's glory through this man.
I am amazed at the commitment and sincerity of my fellow admins and mods.
These people are only here because of a sincere commitment to Christ and a concern for a harmonious and safe space for those who seek Him to come together and fellowship in His name.
God Bless the owner of this site, and the all wonderful people behind the scenes and our membership here at CFS.
TransformedinChrist
Account Closed
Actually the entire Deaf thing - I'd like an opportunity to clear some misconceptions and misguided views. I don't agree with you as I am Deaf and so are my children. Perhaps it's best to leave it to people who know personally.
Deaf children cannot hear at all. Speaking clearly doesn't do anything. Infact it's abuse and further isolates them into being segregated and isolated. Learning American Sign Language and Deaf Culture is the very essential core of raising a Deaf student within the system. This is all hearing people's indoctrination of what they think Deaf people need to be able to understand. Many Deaf people are angry and have been abused along with victimized because of this misconception within the school system. Most end up committing suicide before they even get out of school or heavily medicated for mental health/behavioral problems. Deaf children cannot use hearing aids as their audiograms have failed. Our world is all visual. We see to hear. We touch to understand and we do not fit into the hearing world of learning and comprehending. Smaller classes are needed. We have 4-5 in a class to 1 teacher and an EA. Everyone signs. Sports are visual with lights. All subjects are visual. Taught in American Sign Language. Deaf Culture is the core of each child's education. Deaf teachers are widely available and are hired. CoAD [children of Deaf Adults] are hired within the school system and very rarely are hearing individuals given these positions. Only way to every truly help them understand is their language ASL - which paves way to possibly learn written ENG. However most times this is challenging and often very heartbreaking.
Audism is abuse. Where as people may not be educated or understand. It's important that facts are given and how important it is to truly be solid about these matters.
Audism: Oppression in the Lives of Deaf Individuals
Audism is an attitude based on pathological thinking that results in a negative stigma toward anyone who does not hear; like racism or sexism, audism judges, labels, and limits individuals on the basis of whether a person hears and speaks (Humphrey & Alcorn, 1995: 85). Audism reflects the...
Examples of audism:
Jumping in to help a deaf person communicate.
Asking a Deaf person to read your lips or write when s/he has indicated this isn’t preferred.
Making phone calls for a deaf person since they "can't."
Refusing to call an interpreter when one is requested.
Assuming that those with better speech/English skills are superior.
Asking a Deaf person to "tone down" their facial expressions because they are making others uncomfortable.
Refusing to explain to a Deaf person why everyone around him is laughing – "never mind, I’ll tell you later, it doesn't matter."
Devoting a significant amount of instructional time for a Deaf child to lipreading and speech therapy, rather than educational subjects.
Please watch if you have an opportunity. Below.
This powerful documentary uses real life experiences from Deaf people of varied social, racial, and educational backgrounds - showing how audism does lasting and harmful damage. As they share their struggles with this emotionally charged matter, they reveal the scars that may never heal.
Watch Audism Unveiled Online | Vimeo On Demand
audism (noun): the notion that one is superior based on one's ability to hear and speak, or behave in the manner of one who hears and speaks. This powerful…
vimeo.com
Thank you for allowing me to post and sharing my Deaf story amongst the thousands of Deaf and HOH children who have suffered from lack of understanding, education and support they have needed over generations.
TransformedinChrist
Account Closed
Thank you for posting this and including your personal experience and perspective.
Although we have both Deaf and HOH friends, and coworkers, I realized there was much I have missed. I picked up many great insights and learned that some of my presumptions are off and that many of my own behaviors can be more helpful.