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Apr 25, 2015
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Your opinion, which means nothing to me.
I am sorry you take it this way and feel this way but it is not my opinion, it is truth. God has shown this truth to me.

Do you think you are the only Christian that has gone through pain and grief?
 
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May 6, 2014
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Oh well, he didn't work for me when my daughter was sexually abused, so there isn't much difference.

I am grieving right now, I am allowed to grieve and allowed to blame God if I so choose.
Yes, you must grieve this, but your choices when in emotional turmoil have proven to be to immediately blame God rather than to run to Him for comfort because you trust Him as your loving and perfect Father.

It is adversity that often proves our faith. Now, who do you place your trust in?

He will now stand back and allow you to do things your way, to stomp your feet and scream and yell at Him, and let you make that arduous trek around the mountain one more time until you realize He is right there, ready to comfort and strengthen you and your daughter, and to heal you both and bring wholeness to her. He would much rather be your Father than a bystander sent off to the sidelines.
 
Mar 17, 2015
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Gonubie, East London, South Africa
Naomanos, I am very grieved hearing about this.
I wish a quick-fix answer can be provided, but sadly this is not a Band-Aid case. The hurt associated with this is tremendous and takes tremendous effort to heal.
What I can say is keep strong - strong for her. She has to understand she is not one valued for abuse, she is much more. No amount of money can actually purchase your daughter, she must know that. It is a fact after all.
In my honest opinion, every step should be taken against the person who preyed on her, it should not be an by the side thing. You and your ex must take this seriously and drive it hard. This will be step one to say, you say to your daughter that you are worth so much that we are putting everything into justice for you.
It's fair to say this predator must be taken out of society - he may have done it before and likely will do it again, except if your family take steps to stop it.
Me personally, I would fly up, not to hunt the perpetrator, but to show support to my daughter. I do not know your circumstance, and do not think this is necessarily a right or a wrong.
I do know that your family finds itself in a delicate position, and I hope you do not get me wrong, many people abused while young turn to deviant sexual behaviour when older as it was not properly contained at youth.
So please take it serious, but you have to step over from that feeling of tremendous hate you experience now, to utter love for your daughter's sake - and this is make or break for all of you.

Friend, you now need God to lead you.
 
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Jun 7, 2013
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Naomanos, I am very grieved hearing about this.
I wish a quick-fix answer can be provided, but sadly this is not a Band-Aid case. The hurt associated with this is tremendous and takes tremendous effort to heal.
What I can say is keep strong - strong for her. She has to understand she is not one valued for abuse, she is much more. No amount of money can actually purchase your daughter, she must know that. It is a fact after all.
In my honest opinion, every step should be taken against the person who preyed on her, it should not be an by the side thing. You and your ex must take this seriously and drive it hard. This will be step one to say, you say to your daughter that you are worth so much that we are putting everything into justice for you.
It's fair to say this predator must be taken out of society - he may have done it before and likely will do it again, except if your family take steps to stop it.
Me personally, I would fly up, not to hunt the perpetrator, but to show support to my daughter. I do not know your circumstance, and do not think this is necessarily a right or a wrong.
I do know that your family finds itself in a delicate position, and I hope you do not get me wrong, many people abused while young turn to deviant sexual behaviour when older as it was not properly contained at youth.
So please take it serious, but you have to step over from that feeling of tremendous hate you experience now, to utter love for your daughter's sake - and this is make or break for all of you.

Friend, you now need God to lead you.
Thank you for your reply.

Right now I cannot accept His leading. I am too hurt and too angry currently.

As I said in a different post, maybe in a few days I will see things differently, right now I cannot.

All my life I have had no one to trust, the one person I thought I could trust above all also betrayed me by allowing harm to come to my daughter. Everyone can continue to tell me that God isn't at fault, or He didn't allow it, but I see it differently currently and right now that view isn't going to change. God could have stopped it all from happening, if he chose to, but He didn't. He allowed harm to come to my little girl. So He is to blame for that.
 
Mar 17, 2015
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Gonubie, East London, South Africa
Okay, I understand. You seem to focus very much on how you now feel towards God.
How about your daughter? What are you now doing for her?
Did anything I said made sense regarding what you need to do for her at this time?
 
Jun 7, 2013
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Okay, I understand. You seem to focus very much on how you now feel towards God.
How about your daughter? What are you now doing for her?
Did anything I said made sense regarding what you need to do for her at this time?
I know what she needs, but her mother is currently deciding not to talk to me. She says she is too busy with work. I cannot just take a flight right up there as much as I would like to. I have many responsibilities where I am with my wife and our two children. I am doing what i can by talking with my daughter over the phone and on Facebook.

If it was me, I would have taken my daughter to the police that day so that they can talk to her about what happened, but as far as I know her mom isn't in a hurry to do so. Since her mom will not talk to me, I can only wait for something to be done. What I do know is that the cops are involved, but they are waiting on her mom to set-up a time to come down to the station so that my daughter can be interviewed by the investigator.
 
Mar 17, 2015
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Gonubie, East London, South Africa
I know what she needs, but her mother is currently deciding not to talk to me. She says she is too busy with work. I cannot just take a flight right up there as much as I would like to. I have many responsibilities where I am with my wife and our two children. I am doing what i can by talking with my daughter over the phone and on Facebook.

If it was me, I would have taken my daughter to the police that day so that they can talk to her about what happened, but as far as I know her mom isn't in a hurry to do so. Since her mom will not talk to me, I can only wait for something to be done. What I do know is that the cops are involved, but they are waiting on her mom to set-up a time to come down to the station so that my daughter can be interviewed by the investigator.
I understand the first part.
I suspected the second part. Compare this to what I said in my first post, it sounds your ex is not acting anti-damage, but we will pray for her to experience that change. Do not go war against your ex, she is a critical link for your daughters future well being, she just need some prodding in the right direction.
I am praying for you friend.
 

Juk

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The only thing that I can do for you is pray. I will pray that you and your daughter are okay, that your faith will not be broken completely, and the your daughter can come to know Christ as well. Maybe He wants you to tell your daughter about Him through this situation. We all go through issues. I am going through a major one right now, and it takes great faith for me to tell you what I am telling you. Just remember this: nothing can separate us from God's love, nothing. No matter what happens, He will always love you, even if you don't love Him back. And remember that God works so that good is the outcome for His children. You are His child. It might not seem like good is happening, and it might not seem that God loves you. I know that it is hard for you to trust Him right now, but you absolutely have to. Your eternity is on the line, and your daughter's is too. You have to do hard things sometimes, I understand that. But usually, the harder the trial, the more the outcome. So I suggest that you stay with God. He still loves you and your daughter, and that will never change. And you are throwing your life on the line here. I'm sure you know how vain a godless life is. I don't even know God that well, I admit that. But I know that if I stop trying, I am just killing myself. Not only in this life, but in the one after, as well. Same thing goes for you. I am praying for you, dear brother.
 

Fish Catcher Jim

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Feb 7, 2015
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Your opinion, which means nothing to me.
Hey Naomanos,
Some time back in another thread you were saying you just wanted to live for your family. All you wanted was to be able to take care of them and you really did not want to get into some big relationship with God. Well that is right where you are and what you have. So why get all mad at God for giving you what you wanted in the first place ?
 
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So why get al lmad at God for giving you what you wanted in the first place ?
Yet another question that shouldn't be asked, should it? Should wanting to take care of my family come at the expense of my daughter? Really? That is what you are inferring.

Do me a favor, don't respond to me ever again!
 

Fish Catcher Jim

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Yet another question that shouldn't be asked, should it? Should wanting to take care of my family come at the expense of my daughter? Really? That is what you are inferring.

Do me a favor, don't respond to me ever again!
Brother I will over look this because you are hurting but you twisted what I said. I was simply reminding you of something from another thread. Dont take out your hurt and anger on those in here.
 
Jan 19, 2015
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Take some time to grieve, if your grieving means being angry with God, than so be it, be angry with God. His ways are higher than our ways.

My mom was molested, raped and abused her whole life, even into her first marriage. No amount of being angry with God helped her, she lived years mad that God allowed her to be raped, and years that bitterness stayed with her. And all through this anger, all through the resentment, nothing got better.
Until she turned to God and recognized who He is.
Believe it or not, there is good in this, just like there was good for Job and just like for my mom. When bad times happen to a Christian, it can either strengthen our relationship, or sink us. which one you decide is up to you
 
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Jul 14, 2014
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I hear your grief, anger, shame, frustration, and rage. I hear the utter pain and agony over your feeling of powerlessness at such a distance. While I would like to say I understand - I know I don't. No one should have to go through this.

I know it's 1,000 times worse since you are so far away... You feel like there is absolutely nothing you can do - powerless...

If you can do one thing - think of your daughter. She is the one who has been violated - and she is the one who needs love and comfort. She needs to know that SHE is not to blame for this.. She needs to know that YOU still love her. You still trust her.. You still care about her. YOU Still VALUE her.. That YOU are STILL her father and that she can call on you. She will be dealing with MOUNTAINS of Shame, pain, guilt, emotions, fear, hurt - and it will be WORSE when the word gets around at school and her friends.... They will grind salt into the wounds.... Blame her, scandalize her, impugn and besmirch her....

Honestly - though her body is maturing, mentally, she is still a kid... Still innocent... and while it would be easy to say "She walked into it" or "She brought it on herself" or EVEN "She should have known better" - really, she didn't.. She is still a kid... She had no idea what she was getting into... Most likely - he "Groomed" her for this... Told her she was beautiful, sexy... Complimented her on how mature she was... Made her "Feel" like she was an adult... He preyed on her.. He knew what he was doing... PLANNED this out...

What can you do....
Talk to her. Call her, face book her, text, whatever it takes... Express your love for her, that you still value and trust her. Express that you believe this is NOT her fault. Tell her that feeling shame, pain, fear, blame are normal feelings - but it is NOT her fault!

REPORT it to the police. This is RAPE - EVEN if he claims it was consensual.. Even if SHE says she consented - IT IS RAPE. Call up the LOCAL police station in her town and report it. Tell them you are her father and that you would like them to open an investigation. Tell them that you want to press charges. Give them as much information as you can - and get them in touch with your daughter and your ex. Tell them that you give them permission to interview her. If you are worried about "Mom" - tell them that she may not cooperate with them.

Offer to let her live with you during the summer once school is out. Get her away from the place and into a loving environment - if only for a short period of time. That may also be a good opportunity to get her into church AND get her some REAL pastoral/Christian counseling...

Honestly - it's going to be a long time before the pain is gone... It may never go away - but in time, it will lessen... Both for you and for her.... There will be episodes where the pain breaks out and may paralyze you/her... Guilt, shame, self hate will all be part of this too.. Both for her and for you... Over time - the sharp edge will dull and it won't hurt so much....

My prayers are with you.
 
Mar 17, 2015
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Gonubie, East London, South Africa
Agree fully:
REPORT it to the police. This is RAPE - EVEN if he claims it was consensual.. Even if SHE says she consented - IT IS RAPE. Call up the LOCAL police station in her town and report it. Tell them you are her father and that you would like them to open an investigation. Tell them that you want to press charges. Give them as much information as you can - and get them in touch with your daughter and your ex. Tell them that you give them permission to interview her. If you are worried about "Mom" - tell them that she may not cooperate with them.
 
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Jun 7, 2013
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Well, her mom will not be passing charges citing that she doesn't want my daughter going through the trial because of how emotional my daughter is normally. She also believed this monster will only get talked to, not put in jail.

I got this from my daughter last night and it now makes sense that her mom doesn't want to talk to me because she knows that I will have a difference of opinion.

I unfortunately cannot make her take my daughter in to speak with the investigator and I cannot go to war with her over this. We already have a fragile relationship as it is and she doesn't talk to me as much as she should in regards to the kids. Lady thing I need is her to shut down completely.
 
Jun 7, 2013
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Agree fully:
REPORT it to the police. This is RAPE - EVEN if he claims it was consensual.. Even if SHE says she consented - IT IS RAPE. Call up the LOCAL police station in her town and report it. Tell them you are her father and that you would like them to open an investigation. Tell them that you want to press charges. Give them as much information as you can - and get them in touch with your daughter and your ex. Tell them that you give them permission to interview her. If you are worried about "Mom" - tell them that she may not cooperate with them.
I cannot do that as it will cause a war between me and the mother of my other five children which includes my daughter among the five.
 

Juk

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How could God have stopped it from happening?
By killing the man while he was younger through vicious means such as decapitation, evisceration, or cremation. I know that kinda seemed unnecessary, but yeah, God could have stopped it. The fact that He didn't means that something greater shall come out of it, than if He did stop it.
 
May 6, 2014
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By killing the man while he was younger through vicious means such as decapitation, evisceration, or cremation. I know that kinda seemed unnecessary, but yeah, God could have stopped it. The fact that He didn't means that something greater shall come out of it, than if He did stop it.
God doesn't kill people to control things. He is allowing the world to take its course. If something good comes from these kinds of events, it is because those involved who belong to Him are heeding His will.

Romans 8:28 (AMP)
We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.
 

Juk

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God doesn't kill people to control things. He is allowing the world to take its course. If something good comes from these kinds of events, it is because those involved who belong to Him are heeding His will.

Romans 8:28 (AMP)
We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.
Haha I know. I just wanted to make rhyme different ways to die. That's why I said that it was kinda unnecessary.
 
Jun 7, 2013
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By killing the man while he was younger through vicious means such as decapitation, evisceration, or cremation. I know that kinda seemed unnecessary, but yeah, God could have stopped it. The fact that He didn't means that something greater shall come out of it, than if He did stop it.
I certainly did not mean that God could have stopped it by killing the monster, no, He could have stopped it in other ways.
 
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