Loneliness or Being Alone

[Via dolarossa]

I like that you used Gods Words to battle depression Lanolin

I still get bouts of depression though, even using Gods Word. It does help, some scriptures do help. But I think to a certain extent, we are not meant to be totally free of suffering in this life. It can take the edge off, for me, but that’s about it.
And then maybe after a few days I feel better. Not cured, but a lot less stress free.

 

[Via dolarossa]

Ones reflections on loneliness. Bob loneliness is not a bad thing. It’s often how God forges us into a deeper spirituality with him when all other vices are stripped away from our desperate hearts including people. And so it was with David hiding out amongst the caves in fear of his very life from King Saul with only God to sustain him and the very reason we have the many touching words from within the book of Psalms today . We do also think upon such writers as Alexander Solzhenitsyn & Fyodor Dostoyevsky . All did spend solitude in jail which did enlighten their spirituality to seek a higher calling for humanity and of something far more spiritual than just the pursuit of self. Yes the continuing journey of humanity onto a higher spiritual plain. View attachment 9305View attachment 9306View attachment 9307

Hey Prim90. I hear that book by Fyodor,( Crime and Punishment) is one of the greatest books of all time. I haven't read it. But is it an easy read?

 

[Prim90]

Hey Lanolin;

Well said. I like and agree with what you just shared. Someone else mentioned feeling unworthy when comparing with another attributed to not feeling good enough and falling into a loneliness feeling. I also feel jealousy, insecurities or a low self-esteem can also add to loneliness.

I didn't think of this till now. When parents send their children to school they also have the benefit of making friends. I personally have friends since we were 10 years old. We finished our education and went on with our careers. But we always stayed in touch as friends.

I agree that making friends in school is a most important life skill because as the education gets accomplished and leaving behind, the friendship carries on. Two of my closest friends in grade school were small in height and had a quiet demeanor about them. But today they are more social and confident besides being taller than me. lol!



Hello Prim90;

I noticed you are from Australia and Lanolin is from New Zealand. Both countries are hosting the 2023 Women's World Cup in July.

Back to the topic. Loneliness or being alone and one who feels this way only knows themself but doesn't know how to fix it. Loneliness or being alone doesn't stop there.

What you touch on expands into a deeper spirituality, meaning it can be God is getting your attention through loneliness, conviction, guilt, anger, despair. Therefore loneliness is not a bad thing. God can use our despair to get our attention.

Paul was feeling lonely in prison as his fellow ministers were going elsewhere. Prison impacted Paul but his faith was amazing. Even Jesus comforted and encouraged His servant through adversity and persecution in Acts 23:11.

The two prisoners, Solzhenitsyn and Dostoyevsky in Russia reminds me of another prisoner in Russia. He spent many years and at the end of his term he converted many prisoners to Christ. But I forgot his name and the name of the movie based on a true story.

God bless you both.

Yes the woman’s World Cup not be far away I do think mid July . Actually they had to change the venue of 40, 000 to another venue that holds over 80, 000 due to popular demand and sale of tickets to the Australia - Ireland Game. But yes back to the topic of loneliness it effects people in different ways all the up to madness and mental illness. Does the medical establishment really have the answer for every medical ailment. Are they now become the spiritual practitioners for our spiritual well being as well ? Bob there be things you , me nor the medical establishment can fix. Things only known by God You must remember that the whole being of humanity was to once love God. That void there within all humans be for a reason. How much people allow and choose to fill that void with other things and not with the love of God brings its own consequences. In pursuit of loneliness or perhaps at little more in pursuit of Les Miserables be needed to enquire of our spiritual journey with God.

 

[Prim90]

Hey Prim90. I hear that book by Fyodor,( Crime and Punishment) is one of the greatest books of all time. I haven't read it. But is it an easy read?

Via the spirituality of Crime & punishment is deep from the riveting horrific reality of the crime committed which leaves your heart beating at the gravity of sin that lies within us. Upon awaking the next day i did contemplate for a moment had I actually committed the gruesome deed. Finally my faculties returned and the burden of guilt lifted I thankfully had only dreamed. Of course there be redemption later in the book. I vaguely remember like this. ( And of the time of my imprisonment it seemed as only 7 days and not of 7 yrs at thought of my loving damsel who awaited with love unfeigned or unconditional) Via I don’t recollect the exact words. But the meaning of redemption and love did burn much deep .

 

[bobinfaith]

Sometimes I like to share things I am struggling with, but I don't like it when people give me advice because it also makes me feel either helpless or it cuts the air so to speak. I want to be able to go through what I am going through, and emerge to the other side with some enlightenment or wisdom. People generally don't like it when they see people suffering, I am also guilty of this as we all can be, and instead of just active listening, we interfere and try to fix things instead of letting it be. God is the Healer and will heal us in His own time. I am usually reluctant to share anything if I think people will try and fix me. lol

Hello Via;

Via wrote - Sometimes I like to share things I am struggling with, but I don't like it when people give me advice because it also makes me feel either helpless or it cuts the air so to speak. I want to be able to go through what I am going through, and emerge to the other side with some enlightenment or wisdom.

Speaking on my own experience of failure and blessings - Not all people, even ministers are trained clinical therapists and that's where the mistake comes in. The intentions are good but the Bible instructs us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. The context in James 1:19 is about anger and doing the Word, but the passage still gets across to us in being a listening ear to a brother or sister.

God can develop listening and attentive skills, especially in our Christian walk so when someone needs to share their struggles, listening allows the other to open up, then allow God to take us through the process of healing, lesson learned, wisdom and growth.

Via Continues - People generally don't like it when they see people suffering, I am also guilty of this as we all can be, and instead of just active listening, we interfere and try to fix things instead of letting it be.

In ministry we are in the people business. I get guilty because I cannot fix their issues but that's God's job. My part is to love them, invite them for a cup of coffee, stay in touch, pray for them, but at the same time knowing my boundaries.

 

[Dave F.]

What bothers me is when I tell someone how I am feeling and they then have to tell me how they are much worse off, even when they are not. It makes you want to walk away and not tell anyone else about your situation. I have difficulty admitting that I need help when I'm down, believing I can handle it with prayer and my own determination. I am learning that sometimes God wants us to open up to other people as a way of showing them that they are not alone in their struggles, even if they aren't going through any at the moment.

 

[TransformedinChrist]

What bothers me is when I tell someone how I am feeling and they then have to tell me how they are much worse off, even when they are not. It makes you want to walk away and not tell anyone else about your situation. I have difficulty admitting that I need help when I'm down, believing I can handle it with prayer and my own determination. I am learning that sometimes God wants us to open up to other people as a way of showing them that they are not alone in their struggles, even if they aren't going through any at the moment.

Thank you Dave for sharing. I am here in any capacity I can be in Christ as far as sister. I can pray for you or just be an hear. I understand how that can be demeaning and not very empathetic. Yes I think you are touching on an important essential aspect of the Christian walk - relationships. Sharing one another's burdens as Christ carried all of ours onto the cross. I am sending you a mega dosage of hugs and I will pray for you. We all need someone to confide in and trust. God created man and said it was not good for man to be alone. No one should be alone. I pray one of our brothers will perhaps step up and be that person you can lean in be encouraged by.

Warmly in Christ,
TiC

 

[Dave F.]

I am actually ok now. I was just saying in the past that I have had some that did that to me. God has been working in me to bring me to the peace I now know and enjoy. Because of my experience, I have learned how to be a good listener and only offer advice when asked. Most people just need to vent out their problems and be heard. Thank you for your concern, you are truly a good friend.

 

[Romans_8]

I apologise for resurrecting an old thread. Sometimes life throws us curve balls: We have been through quite a few big life changes in the past couple of years. I am happily married (almost 38 years!), but we recently moved (unexpected health related issues), purchased a small home, started new jobs, started attending a local church, have family (children & grandchildren) and a few friends relatively nearby, yet I still feel somewhat lonely at times.

I was working in a very demanding (non-Christian) environment , leaving little time to socialise, but recently changed jobs, giving me a bit more free time but this has ironically intensified the feeling of loneliness. General fatigue is also likely a factor.

Thanks for 'listening'.

 

[Cosia]

God Bless you Romans_8

 

[bobinfaith]

I apologise for resurrecting an old thread. Sometimes life throws us curve balls: We have been through quite a few big life changes in the past couple of years. I am happily married (almost 38 years!), but we recently moved (unexpected health related issues), purchased a small home, started new jobs, started attending a local church, have family (children & grandchildren) and a few friends relatively nearby, yet I still feel somewhat lonely at times. I was working in a very demanding (non-Christian) environment , leaving little time to socialise, but recently changed jobs, giving me a bit more free time but this has ironically intensified the feeling of loneliness. General fatigue is also likely a factor.
Thanks for 'listening'.

Good morning, Romans_8;

Thank you for opening this topic back up. I understand you having to make new life decisions, move, start a new job and attend a new Church. This can impact your wife and family; I can relate. My wife and I experienced that in 1988.

Though God guided us in our decision to uproot and move to a new city, it was the (in betweens) that we faced during the transition that left us feeling alone and lonely in a new town.

When I think how Jesus at times was lonely. When He was accused, persecuted and when His friends abandoned Him during arrest. It helped me understand that we all have those moments. It's amazing how a small seed of faith in Jesus got us through those times and where we are in 2024.

I hope you and your wife are comfortably settled where you now live.

But as we can see, people are still victims of loneliness, being alone and ongoing around the world. Hopefully, this is where our prayers for an individual we know can hear our story and encourage them.

God bless you, Romans_8.

 

[Yurii]

Hello brothers and sisters;

There is a discussion that I have with men and women in a group Bible study, talk Jesus setting or over a cup of coffee. When we bring up the subject of being lonely or being alone I slowly learned there is a difference.

I know single men and women who are divorced and some just never married. On one side many men and women are actually happy being alone. They define being alone as a solitude of well being and contentment. It can bring a disconnect from others because the state of solitude becomes a way of life more and more, still they're happy being alone.

On the other side many men and women struggle with loneliness. The sad thing with loneliness is it can fester into a serious chronic loneliness. When loneliness is denied by keeping busy only bandaids the problem because at some point the loneliness comes back to the center, especially at the end of the day. Chronic loneliness can be daily and grow very painful within our heart.

In Genesis 1 in verses 4, 10, 12, 18, 21 and 25 God saw His Creation and said it was good. When God created man He said that it was very good. But in Genesis 2:18 God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Loneliness is more of the discussion than being alone. Loneliness is a human feeling that longs for connection with others or a companion. Loneliness can become chronic and deteriorate a person's well being. When a person's well being becomes broken and desperate it can lead to shortcuts to the world's definitional desires of the flesh as a remedy to overcome loneliness.

It can lead to shortcuts of the world's ways as a "quick fix" gratification, deceptively disconnecting our relationship with Christ Jesus. When we as Christians withdraw from Jesus a sense of shame and guilt sinks in as a result of loneliness. We feel incapable of overcoming it by ourselves instead of confessing our loneliness to the Father.

This is a conversation that prompted the question, what are ways that we can overcome this? God has empowered each one of us to combat this chronic loneliness. After passionate prayer and followup, here were some results from Christian men and women;

Shun the deceiving persuasions of TV, internet, magazines or other means on how to overcome loneliness through the desires of the flesh. If we notice, Jesus is never in the center, therefore, the world is not going to teach truth.

Chronic loneliness can cause people to shut down from gathering with other people. Instead, get involved with 1, 2 or more at a Christian gathering be it coffee, Bible study, gardening, going to the beach, hiking, etc...anything where Christians can meet.

In John 5 when Jesus asked the crippled man at Bethesda, "do you want to be healed?" Instead of jumping at the opportunity and shouting, yes, he gave a long excuse to Jesus. Jesus knowing the man, patiently said, "get up. Take up your bed and walk." At once the man was healed.

If I were to ask God, "Lord, can you lead me to a gathering of 1, 2 or more Christians? Do you think God is going to shun me? No Way! When we meet in a Christian get together, we will see the mystery of Christ, how He works, how Christ is in our mist and reveals the Truth.

I'm not talking about joining a Church which is a different topic for another post.

Chronic loneliness can be healed and lead to companionship. When men and women are praying to God for a future husband or wife;

In Genesis 2:20 God appointed Adam to name the livestock, birds and beasts but there was no helper fit for him. But in verses 21-23;

21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."

Verse 23 was the first time that Adam spoke. I also believe verses 21-23 was the first marriage created by God. Point is God did not intend for man and woman to be alone. But we must take God's point and follow His pattern to overcome loneliness.

There is more to this subject. We all have experienced loneliness and being alone. I would like to hear your thoughts, questions, trials or blessings.

More to come...

God bless you, brothers and sisters.

Good morning, Bobinfaith, and all brothers and sisters in Christ,

I want to thank you for this post—it has come to me at exactly the right moment. This morning, I felt a strong sense that I should open the forum and read, and the first thing I saw was your message.

I deeply relate to this topic, and your words brought to mind a passage that has always resonated with me:

*"In John 5, when Jesus asked the crippled man at Bethesda, 'Do you want to be healed?' Instead of jumping at the opportunity and shouting, 'Yes,' he gave a long excuse to Jesus. Jesus, knowing the man, patiently said, 'Get up. Take up your bed and walk.' At once the man was healed."*

How often do we find ourselves in the same position? We become so accustomed to our circumstances—even when they bring us pain—that we hesitate to ask Jesus to change them. We recognize our loneliness, we feel its weight, and yet, deep down, we fear what life might look like without it. What if the future we imagine isn’t as fulfilling as we hope? What if the change is harder than we expect? We want healing, but we are afraid to take the first step.

I believe this is why the man at Bethesda hesitated.

Another challenge we face is that we often live in the realm of our own imagination. We construct visions of the future based on our desires, only to become disillusioned when reality does not match those perfect expectations. Time and time again, we chase after what we believe will make us happy, only to find that even when we reach it, something still feels incomplete. After enough disappointments, we start to fear even hoping for something different—we stop asking, stop seeking, stop believing that change is possible.

But here is what we fail to realize: God never intends anything bad for us.

We hesitate to ask because we are afraid of disappointment, yet the Lord does not give in the way the world gives. When we place our trust in ourselves, we will always find disappointment at some point. But when we place our trust in Him, we can have full assurance that He will never lead us into something that is not for our ultimate good.

Perhaps this is one of the greatest lessons loneliness can teach us—to stop relying on our own understanding, to stop chasing our own fantasies, and instead, to surrender our desires to God. Because when we do, we will find that He has always been ready to give us more than we ever dared to imagine.

Thank you again for sharing this. It has been a blessing to read.

May the Lord bless you all.

In Christ,
Yurii