Views on discipline/spanking?

bobinfaith

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Hello Cassie;

Yes, my wife and I are in the same boat. We don't have children but have a 16, 14 and 3 year old living with their Dad and Mom (my wife's youngest brother) in our home since 2006. Every day we talk Jesus with them.

I'm attending a Pastors Leaders Retreat tomorrow and will give the message on Tuesday. After reading your thread, Views on Discipline/Spanking?

I wanted to share a part of my message that I'm giving to the Dads, Uncles, Grandfathers, and to you and your husband.

Please read and meditate on Ephesians 4:1-6, I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

(A Word Of Encouragement To Our Pastors, Leaders and Parents This Morning)

Press On!
Keep doing what you are doing, Cassie.

God loves and entrusts you to remain where you are in your calling, that is, the steward - parents of your boys.

Your Love includes accepting your sons, when kids can be difficult, especially in their faith during these times.

Pray and ask for patience, bearing with one another, and…Cassie, enjoy them! Kids can be the most delightful people and the best part is, they live in your home!

Pastors and Leaders, call, text, mail a card, plan a careful visitation are examples of who you are in the church as a Pastor, Leader and Parent.
In other words, parents, PAY ATTENTION! If you're watching a movie and they want to talk you, don't wait until the commercial, give them your all in all now. They will remember that moment. (You can watch the rest of the movie later.)

The areas of One body, One Spirit, One Hope, One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism, One God are the tools He will equip you with, most important, your children.

Let’s get to work.
 
Oct 3, 2020
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Hello Cassie;

Yes, my wife and I are in the same boat. We don't have children but have a 16, 14 and 3 year old living with their Dad and Mom (my wife's youngest brother) in our home since 2006. Every day we talk Jesus with them.

I'm attending a Pastors Leaders Retreat tomorrow and will give the message on Tuesday. After reading your thread, Views on Discipline/Spanking?

I wanted to share a part of my message that I'm giving to the Dads, Uncles, Grandfathers, and to you and your husband.

Please read and meditate on Ephesians 4:1-6, I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

(A Word Of Encouragement To Our Pastors, Leaders and Parents This Morning)

Press On!
Keep doing what you are doing, Cassie.

God loves and entrusts you to remain where you are in your calling, that is, the steward - parents of your boys.

Your Love includes accepting your sons, when kids can be difficult, especially in their faith during these times.

Pray and ask for patience, bearing with one another, and…Cassie, enjoy them! Kids can be the most delightful people and the best part is, they live in your home!

Pastors and Leaders, call, text, mail a card, plan a careful visitation are examples of who you are in the church as a Pastor, Leader and Parent.
In other words, parents, PAY ATTENTION! If you're watching a movie and they want to talk you, don't wait until the commercial, give them your all in all now. They will remember that moment. (You can watch the rest of the movie later.)

The areas of One body, One Spirit, One Hope, One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism, One God are the tools He will equip you with, most important, your children.

Let’s get to work.
well feel free to get in touch, thanks for the support
 
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Apr 13, 2019
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There is no reason for a parent to beat a child. None. The child is helpless against an adult.

If a child does something actually wrong, he/she knows it was an accident and the only thing he/she wants is to fix it, make it right, earn the adult's approval. So there is no reason to punish, just correct the mistake and teach the kid how to avoid doing that again.
 
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Via dolarossa

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Although I do believe there is more to this post than what I can fully be aware I will just say Proverbs 23:13 says, "Do not withhold discipline from a child; Though you strike him with the rod, he will not die". Any opinion other than that is nonbiblical.
I never knew the bible supported child spankings.
Well, that’s ok because I used to threaten to crack mine round the head a few times.

I had 2 wooden spoons.
And on one, there was a face I drew and she was called Tanya.
And the other, I drew a worse face and she was called sonia.

Tanya backside and Sonya shufflebottom

I used to give my kids (when they were little) a choice which one they wanted when they misbehaved😊
 

bobinfaith

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I never knew the bible supported child spankings.
Well, that’s ok because I used to threaten to crack mine round the head a few times.
I had 2 wooden spoons.
And on one, there was a face I drew and she was called Tanya.
And the other, I drew a worse face and she was called sonia.
Tanya backside and Sonya shufflebottom
I used to give my kids (when they were little) a choice which one they wanted when they misbehaved😊

Oh great! The next time my Dad gets mad at me I'll have Tanya and Sonia on my mind. Blimey! 🤥

Seriously, I tell you the truth. Being a child of the 60s my Dad and Mom both spanked me on the bottom and confess I was very mischievous. As a teenager in the 70s my Mom slapped me in the face in front of my neighborhood girlfriends, this time I confess I was being a wise guy and disrespectful to my Mom in front of the girls.

I don't know if the 60s or 70s had a trend in child discipline but being much older now I don't feel my parents were physically abusive when they got angry with me and it didn't have any effect on me as a grown up. My siblings are all grown up and there hasn't been any side effects.

We don't have children but have raised 2 nephews and 3 nieces when they were all growing up. I respect their parents (my brother and sister in laws) and would never undermine them in the raising of their children. But they have never raised a hand on their children.

As their favorite uncle
(modest brag) lol! I have disciplined them but in the form of sitting them down and speaking to them, face to face which was worse than a spanking, (looking at my face 😎)

Again, seriously, not all households are the same. The degree of a spanking could have serious outcomes of children when they become teenagers or adults, unfortunately, as I have experienced in the church and especially in the community.

 
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Via dolarossa

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Oh great! The next time my Dad gets mad at me I'll have Tanya and Sonia on my mind. Blimey! 🤥

Seriously, I tell you the truth. Being a child of the 60s my Dad and Mom both spanked me on the bottom and confess I was very mischievous. As a teenager in the 70s my Mom slapped me in the face in front of my neighborhood girlfriends, this time I confess I was being a wise guy and disrespectful to my Mom in front of the girls.

I don't know if the 60s or 70s had a trend in child discipline but being much older now I don't feel my parents were physically abusive when they got angry with me and it didn't have any effect on me as a grown up. My siblings are all grown up and there hasn't been any side effects.

We don't have children but have raised 2 nephews and 3 nieces when they were all growing up. I respect their parents (my brother and sister in laws) and would never undermine them in the raising of their children. But they have never raised a hand on their children.

As their favorite uncle
(modest brag) lol! I have disciplined them but in the form of sitting them down and speaking to them, face to face which was worse than a spanking, (looking at my face 😎)

Again, seriously, not all households are the same. The degree of a spanking could have serious outcomes of children when they become teenagers or adults, unfortunately, as I have experienced in the church and especially in the community.

I bet you there was angels coming out of their ears when you’d finish speaking to them too😁
 
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bobinfaith

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I bet you there was angels coming out of their ears when you’d finish speaking to them too😁

You know, Via, there is some truth to what you just said and there is a bright side. How many of us whose parents scolded us realized later that this was their love for us?
 
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rtm3039

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I think it was quite common to spank children in the 60s and 70s. I certainly had my share growing up. I remember seeing the big paddles at school as well that looked more like oars.

cp
My elementary school Principal had holes in his paddle. They were apparently a way of preventing the wind to slowing down the impact. He was an odd man, but I still remember Principal White like it was yesterday.

rtm3039
 
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There was no physical punishment at school but some parents might still be old school and give their children a 'hiding' basically that means flogging them with a belt or something.

Mum hit me with a bamboo switch.
Dad hit me once. I ran away from home. I ended up in hospital not for physical wrong but I just wanted to be away from my parents.

A lot of streetkids come from abusive homes and that's why they prefer to be homeless.

I don't know about the biblical way of discipline that people always say involves spanking but I never read that in the Bible. Discipline I take to mean learning like how Jesus trained his disciples. I don't read that he ever spanked them. How the two got connected I don't know.
 
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"Spare the rod and spoil the Child". There is a difference between beating/abuse and a useful spanking. I think society forgets this point. My parents almost never spanked. But I do remember running out in middle of rush hour traffic and My auntie hauled me up right there and spanked me good. I never did that again, so point made. Strong discipline and boundaries and an occasional swat on the butt when required never hurt us kids none.
 

bobinfaith

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"Spare the rod and spoil the Child". There is a difference between beating/abuse and a useful spanking. I think society forgets this point. My parents almost never spanked. But I do remember running out in middle of rush hour traffic and My auntie hauled me up right there and spanked me good. I never did that again, so point made. Strong discipline and boundaries and an occasional swat on the butt when required never hurt us kids none.

Amen, Hollyjoy;

What everyone is sharing is the distinction of useful spanking in this topic. I also want to add that after my parents spanked me (not all the time) but I remember after a while my Mom came up, embraced me and wept. Correcting me was part of being a parent and she didn't like it. I was a just a boy but could sense what she was trying to say. She blessed me because I knew she's still my Mom.

Does that make sense and can anyone relate?

It's good to see you in fellowship, Hollyjoy!
 
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hmm don't know what 'society' thinks cos I don't feel I was ever really part of 'society'. It's more of a middle-class term.

I know in a many marriages, the husbands beat their wives. They think it's their right for some strange reason.

I don't ever really remember why I was hit or swatted. I think it was just parents were angry and wanted children to stop acting up. I get a lot of children hiding in the library because they are afraid of their teachers. Some hide in school because they don't like being at home..

My next door neighbour once hit my brother, I don't know what he was doing, maybe crying or being annoying or something. But that just made him cry harder.

It doesn't work for most children. If it DID work it would still be used in schools I reckon. It just turns the older kids into bullies who pick on their weaker, younger siblings. In schools, they used to use a cane or a strap. They would call it 'six of the best'. They would pull their pants down and hit them till they were bruised and welted.
 
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Discipline (spanking) is scriptural but not according to our wrath. What if the Lord laid a lickin on us everyone we did something wrong. It would never accomplish his purpose.
What is our motive and objective in administering disciple? If we are God centered we will behave accordongly.
If circumstances allow, it is good to waite a couple of hours and then do as is right.
There is some truth to 'this is going to hurt me more than you'.
Some of our inlaws tells a story about one of his kids when they were little.
They were in a service and the little guy was just acting up no matter what. Finally dad thought he best take the little guy out and have a talk with him so he picks him up and on the way out the little guy over dad's shoulder calls to the people 'pray for me' :)
 
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