For a while.. I've been thinking. .. what's the point.
Last Sunday I think my pastor pointed out I was being religious. Which I agree, reading ( which I rarely do now) and praying and going to church can become routine when you lose your zeal.
She went to Rev ch 2, you know the church of Ephesus. .. they worked diligently and patiently....and Jesus himself warned that He'd remove their lampstand if they didn't turn back to their first love.
And it made me feel like..whats the point, if my best is religious?
I've tried to talk to God and chase Him ...but He rarely talks back..its a onesided relationship. ...
Yet my other members who left our church...hear Him crystal clear..
And are blessed by Him
Idk, it seems so backwards. .. I want to talk to God more than He wants to talk to me ..but He just won't. ..and Im tired of chasing someone who ignores me. : /
And, My life doesn't display His fruits...you know in Galatians...
I don't know what to do ..bc only God can bear the fruit..yet I can't hear Him...in someways I feel damned already...
Its so unfair I want to change but HE won't do it... idk Im just frustrated. .. and discouraged and want to give up.
= <
Last Sunday I think my pastor pointed out I was being religious. Which I agree, reading ( which I rarely do now) and praying and going to church can become routine when you lose your zeal.
She went to Rev ch 2, you know the church of Ephesus. .. they worked diligently and patiently....and Jesus himself warned that He'd remove their lampstand if they didn't turn back to their first love.
And it made me feel like..whats the point, if my best is religious?
I've tried to talk to God and chase Him ...but He rarely talks back..its a onesided relationship. ...
Yet my other members who left our church...hear Him crystal clear..
And are blessed by Him
Idk, it seems so backwards. .. I want to talk to God more than He wants to talk to me ..but He just won't. ..and Im tired of chasing someone who ignores me. : /
And, My life doesn't display His fruits...you know in Galatians...
I don't know what to do ..bc only God can bear the fruit..yet I can't hear Him...in someways I feel damned already...
Its so unfair I want to change but HE won't do it... idk Im just frustrated. .. and discouraged and want to give up.
= <