Bullying...why?
- Thread starter Lanolin
- Start date
Pastors are just people with sinful natures, like everybody else. Their education and position doesn't give them any special spiritual status with God, just makes them an educated sinner.
I suppose thats why Paul made some rules/recommendations in letter to Timothy of who could be in that role. (In my kjv bible, its bishop or deacon) The worst thing is to have a pastor that beats everyone else up for their own shortcomings.
I was talking with one of the teachers about the subject of bullying in schools.
She reckons that mosy schools encourage it because they dont have the concept of the older ones looking after the younger ones across the grades. In most schools teachers divide everyone into grades or years and the children only hang round with their own peers in their own year group. This means the younger ones will be afraid of the older ones as they dont want to encroach on their territory.
Older children can be terrible bullies to younger ones, teasing them and use their limited authority and privelige of being older to lord it over the younger ones. Instead of looking out for them and teaching them, many just think cos they are bigger and stronger it means a license to abuse the small and weak.
She reckons that mosy schools encourage it because they dont have the concept of the older ones looking after the younger ones across the grades. In most schools teachers divide everyone into grades or years and the children only hang round with their own peers in their own year group. This means the younger ones will be afraid of the older ones as they dont want to encroach on their territory.
Older children can be terrible bullies to younger ones, teasing them and use their limited authority and privelige of being older to lord it over the younger ones. Instead of looking out for them and teaching them, many just think cos they are bigger and stronger it means a license to abuse the small and weak.
Ok, I know nothing about schools in NZ, but our teachers don't divide everyone into grades or years, the system does. Alco, claiming that schools encourage bullies is really kind of a silly thing to say. We here break schools down into three: Elementary (K - 5), middle school (6 - 8) and high school (9 - 12). There really is no alternative to that.
I really think it has gotten out of hand. We will always have people that are strong willed and those that are not. However, interaction between the lion and the sheep are not always a case of being bullied. It is sometimes just the natural order of things.
Its not silly its serious and many teachers arent doing anything to really stop it. Some schools have decided to incorporate older younger mentoring in their classrooms and it does work in some schools, where its family orientated and not age leveled.
However some teachers were against this saying it was too hard. So I would say dont blame the system when YOU can do something about it to change it. And because those of us on here are christians , WE actually can do something. Because God is more powerful than any bully.
Jesus was radical in that sense that he wouldnt let a brusied reed break and wouldnt stand for the nonsense of bullying from the heirarchy. But a lot of people are like meh, thats just the way it is.
Well I for one am going to speak up and say its not. Its is wrong. Lets pray that it stops NOW. Im not going to wait till another child dies
Ok, I just don't get it. You are going to place an older child in a 1st grade class? How does the older child get his/her education? Classes, at least in this country, and based on age/grades. I have no idea what you mean by "older younger mentoring."
As it happens, it is my office that investigates all reported acts of bullying and we do not get that many of them. We get some, but not that many for a school system with over 390,000 students:
MIAMI DADE COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS
Policy Against Bullying and Harassment
BULLYING AND HARASSMENT POLICY At each school, the principal or the principal’s designee is responsible for receiving complaints alleging violations of this policy. All school employees are required to report alleged violations of this Policy to the principal or the principal’s designee. All other members of the school community who have credible information that an act of bullying or harassment has taken place, including students, parents/legal guardians, volunteers, and visitors are encouraged to report any act that may be a violation of this policy anonymously or in-person to the principal or principal’s designee.
You have no idea how mentoring works? Ok You need to look into it and see how real families function.
I have finished school! Hooray.
There is a lot of bullying in schools I saw it happen most everyday. And in many different workplaces. The reason why its not often reported is fear. But I think its better than abuse is reported than kept quiet, like some people think domestic abuse doesn't happen and or worse--that its normal when it is not.
I have had to break up a lot of fights and squabbles this year, but hopefully the children are learning that their behaviour affects others and its not good to call people names and fight over who's first etc. When you have 30+ children in one space it can be a challenge.
There is a lot of bullying in schools I saw it happen most everyday. And in many different workplaces. The reason why its not often reported is fear. But I think its better than abuse is reported than kept quiet, like some people think domestic abuse doesn't happen and or worse--that its normal when it is not.
I have had to break up a lot of fights and squabbles this year, but hopefully the children are learning that their behaviour affects others and its not good to call people names and fight over who's first etc. When you have 30+ children in one space it can be a challenge.
School back in two weeks.
Please pray for a peaceful year and that we can stop the bullying before it gets worse.
I happen to be reading about the Columbine massacre, this happened in a high school in Colorado in 1999 I'm sure most of you are aware.
Yes not exactly light reading. Anyway 15 people died including one teacher, in the school library. The mum of one of the killers, wrote a book about her son called 'A mother's reckoning'.
I didn't gain that much insight into why it all happened, she seemed rather in denial about her son being capable of doing such a thing, and a bit blind to red flags in his attitude to others and behaviour, but one thing I noticed was she did mention bullying was rampant in that school and teachers didn't really do anything about it. It was just seen as an everyday thing. His friendship with the other boy who together plotted to blow up the school..was not stopped and even when they were arrested and charged for stealing they somehow got let off and bailed out on community service. The mum continued to think her son was 'a good kid'. No consequences whatsoever. If he'd been jailed, for a length of time it would be likely he wouldn't have gone on to commit further crimes cos he would have thad to think about his actions, what he did and know it was wrong and he couldn't get away with it. For his own safety as well as everyone elses.
Say what you will about prison, there's a place for it.
God can work in prisons.
Please pray for a peaceful year and that we can stop the bullying before it gets worse.
I happen to be reading about the Columbine massacre, this happened in a high school in Colorado in 1999 I'm sure most of you are aware.
Yes not exactly light reading. Anyway 15 people died including one teacher, in the school library. The mum of one of the killers, wrote a book about her son called 'A mother's reckoning'.
I didn't gain that much insight into why it all happened, she seemed rather in denial about her son being capable of doing such a thing, and a bit blind to red flags in his attitude to others and behaviour, but one thing I noticed was she did mention bullying was rampant in that school and teachers didn't really do anything about it. It was just seen as an everyday thing. His friendship with the other boy who together plotted to blow up the school..was not stopped and even when they were arrested and charged for stealing they somehow got let off and bailed out on community service. The mum continued to think her son was 'a good kid'. No consequences whatsoever. If he'd been jailed, for a length of time it would be likely he wouldn't have gone on to commit further crimes cos he would have thad to think about his actions, what he did and know it was wrong and he couldn't get away with it. For his own safety as well as everyone elses.
Say what you will about prison, there's a place for it.
God can work in prisons.
There is evil in this world and people have their own opinions. The problem is opinions are people vary mixed with evil intentions, etc makes things worse. To stop it is to stick up for others, have bullying counsels and also talk to the teachers about it. There should be teachers meetings where it can be addressed.
I've had a MUCH more peaceful year this year, thanks to the junior school and the seniors not mixing so much and having different playtimes for morning tea and lunch.
In fact, I am even able to leave some children alone in the library, and there won't be a big fight to break up!
Really what it comes down to is the older ones not liking the younger ones. The bigger lording it over the smaller ones. They may be in different classes so they aren't able to be called out in class, though the teachers are aware of some who are troublesome and try to help them get along if they cannot be separated.
In fact, I am even able to leave some children alone in the library, and there won't be a big fight to break up!
Really what it comes down to is the older ones not liking the younger ones. The bigger lording it over the smaller ones. They may be in different classes so they aren't able to be called out in class, though the teachers are aware of some who are troublesome and try to help them get along if they cannot be separated.
Lanolin - I'm happy to hear that there is at least some measure of discipline in your school system. Here in the US, that is sometimes not the case. Education management in most places here orders 'no discipline' to speak of and that has led to some schools that are in absolute chaos from within. The students and especially gangs, control the schools, primarily in the larger school districts, and there are times when teachers have to leave their classrooms in order to not be roughed up.
I can't go into detail regarding this situation without violating Forum Rule 3.1, however, many parents have found it necessary to put their children in private or semi-private schools where order and security is present. Look at what is taking place in the streets in major cities here with civil disorder, protesting, rioting, burning down businesses and targeting police officers with violence. The cause of those incidents is basically the same cause as what is happening in many schools.
I can't go into detail regarding this situation without violating Forum Rule 3.1, however, many parents have found it necessary to put their children in private or semi-private schools where order and security is present. Look at what is taking place in the streets in major cities here with civil disorder, protesting, rioting, burning down businesses and targeting police officers with violence. The cause of those incidents is basically the same cause as what is happening in many schools.
Thats terrible. We have board of trustees managing our schools, and while I don't know all the people on the board some are teachers, former teachers, and also parents and caregivers.
Primary schools are run a bit differently from secondary schools. From what I've observed, we have something called PB4L which means Positive Behaviour 4 Learning and at risk pupils are identified and placed on an individualised program. Interventions are in place. Not sure if always works, but we also have dedicated Teacher Aides.
We did a whole unit on 'keeping ourselves safe' so children know when they come to school they don't need to be afraid of anyone or anything. But the biggest part of it is learning how to deal with things non-violently. Mum or dad or step-dad or relatives may be in jail or have restraining orders or out of the picture, but that doesn't mean their children can't come to school and feel safe.
Recently it came to light that an Auckland boys boarding school had sex offenders on the staff, abusing boys and they have now owned up. So I wouldn't say its just in public schools this happens right across the board even in private schools, probably MORE so in those controlled environments. I read that in those sorts of schools in the past, the elder students would gang up on the younger students as condoned by the teachers. ?! In the past, it was caning, the teachers would give 'six of the best' meaning six whippings with a cane.
Nowadays it's just detentions.
Primary schools are run a bit differently from secondary schools. From what I've observed, we have something called PB4L which means Positive Behaviour 4 Learning and at risk pupils are identified and placed on an individualised program. Interventions are in place. Not sure if always works, but we also have dedicated Teacher Aides.
We did a whole unit on 'keeping ourselves safe' so children know when they come to school they don't need to be afraid of anyone or anything. But the biggest part of it is learning how to deal with things non-violently. Mum or dad or step-dad or relatives may be in jail or have restraining orders or out of the picture, but that doesn't mean their children can't come to school and feel safe.
Recently it came to light that an Auckland boys boarding school had sex offenders on the staff, abusing boys and they have now owned up. So I wouldn't say its just in public schools this happens right across the board even in private schools, probably MORE so in those controlled environments. I read that in those sorts of schools in the past, the elder students would gang up on the younger students as condoned by the teachers. ?! In the past, it was caning, the teachers would give 'six of the best' meaning six whippings with a cane.
Nowadays it's just detentions.
update
Am happy to report only really two incidents of bullying at school this year. Otherwise it's been peaceful!
One was an older sister to her younger sister. I got the deputy to have a talk to them.
The other was a year 5 girl to some of the juniors. I took her aside and she apologised. She also had family issues.
Such a contrast to last year when it seemed like every week something happened.
Am happy to report only really two incidents of bullying at school this year. Otherwise it's been peaceful!
One was an older sister to her younger sister. I got the deputy to have a talk to them.
The other was a year 5 girl to some of the juniors. I took her aside and she apologised. She also had family issues.
Such a contrast to last year when it seemed like every week something happened.
We live in such different worlds . . .
I'll be keeping an eye on the year 5's girls little brother next year, as a family breakup is never easy. Thankfully we have a social worker in school.
She's going to a different school, so I'll get in touch with one of the teachers/social workers there to make sure she's ok.
I think many people underestimate the effects of divorce and breakups has on children. They don't suddenly turn violent for no reason.
She's going to a different school, so I'll get in touch with one of the teachers/social workers there to make sure she's ok.
I think many people underestimate the effects of divorce and breakups has on children. They don't suddenly turn violent for no reason.
I think the latter depends on how the parents conduct themselves during the divorce.
Rtm
Children/siblings don't ask to be split up, even if the split between partners is amicable.
Having two homes is only ideal if you have like a holiday home that you can go to any time you want.
I know couples who are split and live practically next door to each other. More power to them if they can afford to spilt that way. But in most cases its 'you can only see either parents on certain days and they must not set foot on the property'. Restraining orders aren't fun.