Bullying...why?

Dec 19, 2014
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He made some derogatory falsehoods about my employer. His demeanor was, at the very least, unfriendly. This was at an off-site social gathering for that particular Sunday school class. I was new to the church and this was my first social gathering. I've experienced this sort of thing many times over the years. As a young Christian, I didn't know how to handle it because it always caught me by surprise. Experience has taught me how to handle it. I didn't respond in kind, that would be sinful, but there's nothing that says I have to stick around.
Thats terrible. It still always shocks me when unchristian things happen at church or where christians are gathering cos you dont expect it. Not just when you are new but even after several years you think how can this be going on with elders? Dont they know better?

If its just random people being snide I think well just keep away from them and pray for them. They are bitter about something. They dont need to take it out on you but you just happen to be there.
 
Dec 16, 2018
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At home.
Thats terrible. It still always shocks me when unchristian things happen at church or where christians are gathering cos you dont expect it. Not just when you are new but even after several years you think how can this be going on with elders? Dont they know better?

If its just random people being snide I think well just keep away from them and pray for them. They are bitter about something. They dont need to take it out on you but you just happen to be there.

Mostly the second paragraph, although I've experienced some very unkind words from pastors also. I'm not going to elaborate on it because it was hard enough to let go of it. Like you said, put it in God's hand, pray for them and move on.
 
Dec 16, 2018
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At home.
I wonder what gets taught in pastors school.
I dont recall Jesus saying unkind things to his disciples, he reserved that for Pharisees. Although he did rebuke Peter a few times. But then Peter was being somewhat annoying.

Pastors are just people with sinful natures, like everybody else. Their education and position doesn't give them any special spiritual status with God, just makes them an educated sinner.
 
Dec 19, 2014
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Pastors are just people with sinful natures, like everybody else. Their education and position doesn't give them any special spiritual status with God, just makes them an educated sinner.
I suppose thats why Paul made some rules/recommendations in letter to Timothy of who could be in that role. (In my kjv bible, its bishop or deacon) The worst thing is to have a pastor that beats everyone else up for their own shortcomings.
 
Dec 19, 2014
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I was talking with one of the teachers about the subject of bullying in schools.
She reckons that mosy schools encourage it because they dont have the concept of the older ones looking after the younger ones across the grades. In most schools teachers divide everyone into grades or years and the children only hang round with their own peers in their own year group. This means the younger ones will be afraid of the older ones as they dont want to encroach on their territory.

Older children can be terrible bullies to younger ones, teasing them and use their limited authority and privelige of being older to lord it over the younger ones. Instead of looking out for them and teaching them, many just think cos they are bigger and stronger it means a license to abuse the small and weak.
 

rtm3039

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I was talking with one of the teachers about the subject of bullying in schools.
She reckons that mosy schools encourage it because they dont have the concept of the older ones looking after the younger ones across the grades. In most schools teachers divide everyone into grades or years and the children only hang round with their own peers in their own year group. This means the younger ones will be afraid of the older ones as they dont want to encroach on their territory.

Older children can be terrible bullies to younger ones, teasing them and use their limited authority and privelige of being older to lord it over the younger ones. Instead of looking out for them and teaching them, many just think cos they are bigger and stronger it means a license to abuse the small and weak.
Ok, I know nothing about schools in NZ, but our teachers don't divide everyone into grades or years, the system does. Alco, claiming that schools encourage bullies is really kind of a silly thing to say. We here break schools down into three: Elementary (K - 5), middle school (6 - 8) and high school (9 - 12). There really is no alternative to that.

I really think it has gotten out of hand. We will always have people that are strong willed and those that are not. However, interaction between the lion and the sheep are not always a case of being bullied. It is sometimes just the natural order of things.
 
Dec 19, 2014
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Ok, I know nothing about schools in NZ, but our teachers don't divide everyone into grades or years, the system does. Alco, claiming that schools encourage bullies is really kind of a silly thing to say. We here break schools down into three: Elementary (K - 5), middle school (6 - 8) and high school (9 - 12). There really is no alternative to that.

I really think it has gotten out of hand. We will always have people that are strong willed and those that are not. However, interaction between the lion and the sheep are not always a case of being bullied. It is sometimes just the natural order of things.
Its not silly its serious and many teachers arent doing anything to really stop it. Some schools have decided to incorporate older younger mentoring in their classrooms and it does work in some schools, where its family orientated and not age leveled.

However some teachers were against this saying it was too hard. So I would say dont blame the system when YOU can do something about it to change it. And because those of us on here are christians , WE actually can do something. Because God is more powerful than any bully.

Jesus was radical in that sense that he wouldnt let a brusied reed break and wouldnt stand for the nonsense of bullying from the heirarchy. But a lot of people are like meh, thats just the way it is.

Well I for one am going to speak up and say its not. Its is wrong. Lets pray that it stops NOW. Im not going to wait till another child dies
 

rtm3039

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Its not silly its serious and many teachers arent doing anything to really stop it. Some schools have decided to incorporate older younger mentoring in their classrooms and it does work in some schools, where its family orientated and not age leveled.

However some teachers were against this saying it was too hard. So I would say dont blame the system when YOU can do something about it to change it. And because those of us on here are christians , WE actually can do something. Because God is more powerful than any bully.

Jesus was radical in that sense that he wouldnt let a brusied reed break and wouldnt stand for the nonsense of bullying from the heirarchy. But a lot of people are like meh, thats just the way it is.

Well I for one am going to speak up and say its not. Its is wrong. Lets pray that it stops NOW. Im not going to wait till another child dies

Ok, I just don't get it. You are going to place an older child in a 1st grade class? How does the older child get his/her education? Classes, at least in this country, and based on age/grades. I have no idea what you mean by "older younger mentoring."

As it happens, it is my office that investigates all reported acts of bullying and we do not get that many of them. We get some, but not that many for a school system with over 390,000 students:

MIAMI DADE COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS

Policy Against Bullying and Harassment

BULLYING AND HARASSMENT POLICY
At each school, the principal or the principal’s designee is responsible for receiving complaints alleging violations of this policy. All school employees are required to report alleged violations of this Policy to the principal or the principal’s designee. All other members of the school community who have credible information that an act of bullying or harassment has taken place, including students, parents/legal guardians, volunteers, and visitors are encouraged to report any act that may be a violation of this policy anonymously or in-person to the principal or principal’s designee.
 

rtm3039

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Its not silly its serious and many teachers arent doing anything to really stop it. Some schools have decided to incorporate older younger mentoring in their classrooms and it does work in some schools, where its family orientated and not age leveled.

However some teachers were against this saying it was too hard. So I would say dont blame the system when YOU can do something about it to change it. And because those of us on here are christians , WE actually can do something. Because God is more powerful than any bully.

Jesus was radical in that sense that he wouldnt let a brusied reed break and wouldnt stand for the nonsense of bullying from the heirarchy. But a lot of people are like meh, thats just the way it is.

Well I for one am going to speak up and say its not. Its is wrong. Lets pray that it stops NOW. Im not going to wait till another child dies

Stop_Bullying.jpg

 
Dec 19, 2014
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Ok, I just don't get it. You are going to place an older child in a 1st grade class? How does the older child get his/her education? Classes, at least in this country, and based on age/grades. I have no idea what you mean by "older younger mentoring."

As it happens, it is my office that investigates all reported acts of bullying and we do not get that many of them. We get some, but not that many for a school system with over 390,000 students:

MIAMI DADE COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS

Policy Against Bullying and Harassment

BULLYING AND HARASSMENT POLICY
At each school, the principal or the principal’s designee is responsible for receiving complaints alleging violations of this policy. All school employees are required to report alleged violations of this Policy to the principal or the principal’s designee. All other members of the school community who have credible information that an act of bullying or harassment has taken place, including students, parents/legal guardians, volunteers, and visitors are encouraged to report any act that may be a violation of this policy anonymously or in-person to the principal or principal’s designee.
You have no idea how mentoring works? Ok You need to look into it and see how real families function.
 
Dec 19, 2014
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I have finished school! Hooray.

There is a lot of bullying in schools I saw it happen most everyday. And in many different workplaces. The reason why its not often reported is fear. But I think its better than abuse is reported than kept quiet, like some people think domestic abuse doesn't happen and or worse--that its normal when it is not.

I have had to break up a lot of fights and squabbles this year, but hopefully the children are learning that their behaviour affects others and its not good to call people names and fight over who's first etc. When you have 30+ children in one space it can be a challenge.
 
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Dec 19, 2014
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School back in two weeks.
Please pray for a peaceful year and that we can stop the bullying before it gets worse.

I happen to be reading about the Columbine massacre, this happened in a high school in Colorado in 1999 I'm sure most of you are aware.
Yes not exactly light reading. Anyway 15 people died including one teacher, in the school library. The mum of one of the killers, wrote a book about her son called 'A mother's reckoning'.

I didn't gain that much insight into why it all happened, she seemed rather in denial about her son being capable of doing such a thing, and a bit blind to red flags in his attitude to others and behaviour, but one thing I noticed was she did mention bullying was rampant in that school and teachers didn't really do anything about it. It was just seen as an everyday thing. His friendship with the other boy who together plotted to blow up the school..was not stopped and even when they were arrested and charged for stealing they somehow got let off and bailed out on community service. The mum continued to think her son was 'a good kid'. No consequences whatsoever. If he'd been jailed, for a length of time it would be likely he wouldn't have gone on to commit further crimes cos he would have thad to think about his actions, what he did and know it was wrong and he couldn't get away with it. For his own safety as well as everyone elses.

Say what you will about prison, there's a place for it.
God can work in prisons.
 
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I realise this isnt a very positive topic but maybe something positive will come out of it if we ask God to help us deal with it.

It happens in families, in schools, and in workplaces. It happens online. It can be devastating especially for the victims.

And yes Ive been bullied. Its horrible. It happns a lot in workplaces, just because you leave school doesnt mean people have left that playground mentality behind. Adults can be the worst. Ive seen it happen in retirement villages!

What can we do about it?

Ive just started a new job at school and I see it happen in classrooms. Even some teachers bully their own children. The older children sometimes gang up on the younger ones, there are fights and tears. So What can we do about it? Is it just peoples nature to pick on those who are younger or weaker than themselves?
There is evil in this world and people have their own opinions. The problem is opinions are people vary mixed with evil intentions, etc makes things worse. To stop it is to stick up for others, have bullying counsels and also talk to the teachers about it. There should be teachers meetings where it can be addressed.
 
Dec 19, 2014
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I've had a MUCH more peaceful year this year, thanks to the junior school and the seniors not mixing so much and having different playtimes for morning tea and lunch.
In fact, I am even able to leave some children alone in the library, and there won't be a big fight to break up!

Really what it comes down to is the older ones not liking the younger ones. The bigger lording it over the smaller ones. They may be in different classes so they aren't able to be called out in class, though the teachers are aware of some who are troublesome and try to help them get along if they cannot be separated.
 
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Pastor Gary

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Lanolin - I'm happy to hear that there is at least some measure of discipline in your school system. Here in the US, that is sometimes not the case. Education management in most places here orders 'no discipline' to speak of and that has led to some schools that are in absolute chaos from within. The students and especially gangs, control the schools, primarily in the larger school districts, and there are times when teachers have to leave their classrooms in order to not be roughed up.

I can't go into detail regarding this situation without violating Forum Rule 3.1, however, many parents have found it necessary to put their children in private or semi-private schools where order and security is present. Look at what is taking place in the streets in major cities here with civil disorder, protesting, rioting, burning down businesses and targeting police officers with violence. The cause of those incidents is basically the same cause as what is happening in many schools.
 
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Dec 19, 2014
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Thats terrible. We have board of trustees managing our schools, and while I don't know all the people on the board some are teachers, former teachers, and also parents and caregivers.
Primary schools are run a bit differently from secondary schools. From what I've observed, we have something called PB4L which means Positive Behaviour 4 Learning and at risk pupils are identified and placed on an individualised program. Interventions are in place. Not sure if always works, but we also have dedicated Teacher Aides.

We did a whole unit on 'keeping ourselves safe' so children know when they come to school they don't need to be afraid of anyone or anything. But the biggest part of it is learning how to deal with things non-violently. Mum or dad or step-dad or relatives may be in jail or have restraining orders or out of the picture, but that doesn't mean their children can't come to school and feel safe.

Recently it came to light that an Auckland boys boarding school had sex offenders on the staff, abusing boys and they have now owned up. So I wouldn't say its just in public schools this happens right across the board even in private schools, probably MORE so in those controlled environments. I read that in those sorts of schools in the past, the elder students would gang up on the younger students as condoned by the teachers. ?! In the past, it was caning, the teachers would give 'six of the best' meaning six whippings with a cane.

Nowadays it's just detentions.
 
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